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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering rehoming my cats?

73 replies

nationalshirehorse · 03/03/2025 08:38

I know I’m going to get hate for this but please hear me out.

We got two kittens in the autumn. We live rurally and a derelict farm by us was discovered to have a cat and four kittens. I managed to find a home for two kittens and kept the other two and I now really think that this was a huge mistake.

They are lovely friendly cats but it’s the sleep issue. We have young children, aged four and one and the one year old generally doesn’t sleep through. I have to keep the cats downstairs as otherwise they charge round upstairs and also if I get up to go to DD they then thunder around expecting food.

So what they have started doing now is making an absolute racket downstairs until someone me goes to feed them. They have dry food and water and a litter tray but they bash themselves against the doors so that they shake and rattle. I know it would probably be best to ignore this but I can’t have them waking the whole house up. This used to be just in the morning at around 6 which I didn’t really mind as it isn’t that far off when I’d be getting up anyway but then it was getting earlier and earlier 5, then half four, then four.

Last night they would not settle at all and I was up every couple of hours with them. It was awful and it’s so difficult to get back to sleep afterwards.

They have been to the vet to check they don’t have a thyroid issue as I know this can cause excessive hunger but they are fine. Plus they do have dry food so they can’t be all that hungry.

DH wants them gone; he’s absolutely fed up of it and I have to admit I am as well. It’s one thing to have bad nights with children but with the cats combined I’m barely getting three hours some nights.

I don’t know if anyone has any suggestions. I have tried putting them out but they yowl under my window so that doesn’t help!

OP posts:
Hibernatingtilspring · 03/03/2025 09:27

If you can't cope with cats being active at night then you're not suited to having cats - they are most active at dawn and dusk, which is why they are waking you up earlier. It isn't just for food, they'll want attention and just generally be hyper at that time (cat zoomies!)

It usually settles down a bit once they're older, but not guaranteed.

If you do re-home them please do it via a proper shelter.

Seeingadistance · 03/03/2025 09:31

My cats sleep in the kitchen because they race around in the middle of the night. They used to wake me up by battering the door so it banged in the frame, as the OPs do. I solved that problem by wedging a piece of cardboard between door and frame so it doesn’t move - stopped the noise. I also leave out toys for them to play with. I don’t hear them at all now.

Original poster
nationalshirehorse · 03/03/2025 09:32

I’ve always had cats and I can honestly say I have never had anything like this before. I’m 43, so that’s over two decades of having cats myself and then we always had cats when I was a child.

Obviously kittens are more energetic but I’ve never experienced the disturbances I’m having now before. I don’t know if I have just had exceptionally laid back cats before but it seems unlikely!

I have no idea what to do but I can’t survive on this little sleep indefinitely.

OP posts:
Original poster
nationalshirehorse · 03/03/2025 09:32

Thanks @Seeingadistance . I’ll try the cardboard.

OP posts:
ArabellaWeird · 03/03/2025 09:34

People used to put the cat out at night, not bring it in. This is why. Set up a shed outside with some bedding, put them out when you go to bed and leave them to it.

Caspianberg · 03/03/2025 09:35

I would just let them roam whole house and don’t shut doors.

we tried closing our bedroom door when our Ds was a baby so cats couldn’t get in, they were around 1 year/18 months. They just cried and scratched at door and woke us up.

Started leaving doors open and then could wander in and say hi and they would actually then be more likely to go off later. Cat sleeps in Ds room often on chair also.
I would t worry at all about a cat with 1 year old anyway, they aren’t tiny newborn

Honeyroar · 03/03/2025 09:36

Have you a shed or an outhouse that they could move into and have a cat flap? It’s because dawn is getting earlier and they want to be out. You could always add a plug in radiator or heat pads to keep them warm.

Excited101 · 03/03/2025 09:36

Have they got a cat flap to go out? Definitely lots of toys out to run and play with. We fostered-adopted a 4m old male when I was 38 weeks pregnant… I remember it well!

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 03/03/2025 09:38

You really can re home them. You don't need to be miserable and suffering in your own home just because you tried to do something kind. It may well be because they're feral that they have this level of activity.

You'd need to explain to the rescue what the issue is though so they don't get bounced around unsuitable homes.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 03/03/2025 09:38

Do you not have a cat flap? They’re nocturnal so obviously if they’re following their natural instincts they’ll be more active at night. Obvs they are also more likely to come across foxes etc at night too, but when I had farm cats I figured I they should have a happy outdoor life, even if that meant it was curtailed by predators. Locking them inside wasn’t an option for us.

autumn1610 · 03/03/2025 09:39

I’m fostering a very active little cat atm. I brought a treat ball and put his biscuits in there before I go to bed as he was eating his food so quickly, it seems to slow him and keep him entertained. Are you feeding enough in the day? Depending on their food I was surprised at how many packets they need if they are on felix/whiskers. Due to a sensitive stomach he’s on higher meat content now and I’ve definitely seen an improvement in him slowing down and being less hangry. He also has a lot of toys to play with at night and once he was settled has roam of most of the house now at night and his behaviour has improved drastically. He tends to take himself off now to sleep in a cat bed or sleeps on the bed. We also have about 10/15min really active play before I go to sleep

Merryoldgoat · 03/03/2025 09:42

My old cat was like this and we were advised to feed late and it helped.

I have two kittens who are nothing like this though - it does sound extreme.

kaos2 · 03/03/2025 09:43

Get a pop up feeder to go off around 4 am so they have wet food to keep them going.

tropicalroses · 03/03/2025 09:43

I second letting them out at night. If there is an outbuilding can you feed them there so they don't associate being fed in the house? Maybe try an automatic feeder that drops food for them early.

To me this just sounds like the adolescent stage, where they are moving from cute kittens to adulthood and they'll grow out of this quickly if you manage it well.

TY78910 · 03/03/2025 09:46

Cats learn how to get your attention.
My cat (he is older) has learnt that I will get out of bed when my baby gets up. So in the morning when DS starts moving around, he will claw at the side of the next to me cot to wake him properly. On one hand, props to him as that is very smart. On the other, DA would self settle and give me an extra half an hour in bed!

The kitten stage is the kitten stage. You could give in and go feed them, then go back to bed then wait until that kid stage of them is over, or give them away, although don't then replace them with another cat in the long run. That wouldn't be fair.

Gettingbysomehow · 03/03/2025 09:46

Young cats do this which is why I normally adopt older cats, but they do stop eventually. Once they are allowed to go out they should settle down.
I have a black cat I was given as a three month old and she was like this for 6 months. Now she just sleeps quietly on my bed all night and hoe's outside at dawn to roam about.

Newbie5652 · 03/03/2025 09:48

I’ve always had cats and I can honestly say I have never had anything like this before

I agree op. I've never had cats who keep me awake at night with their noise. We keep ours in overnight too although they have access to a cat flap during the day.

I hope they settle down. And if not don't feel guilty about re-homing. You tried to do a nice thing for them but it's not working out.

candycane222 · 03/03/2025 09:51

TY78910 · 03/03/2025 09:46

Cats learn how to get your attention.
My cat (he is older) has learnt that I will get out of bed when my baby gets up. So in the morning when DS starts moving around, he will claw at the side of the next to me cot to wake him properly. On one hand, props to him as that is very smart. On the other, DA would self settle and give me an extra half an hour in bed!

The kitten stage is the kitten stage. You could give in and go feed them, then go back to bed then wait until that kid stage of them is over, or give them away, although don't then replace them with another cat in the long run. That wouldn't be fair.

Hmm I don't think it would be wrong for OP to give a home to an older rescue cat who they could more easily accommodate alongside very young dc, given they are experienced cat owners

Nannyfannybanny · 03/03/2025 09:52

I had cats all my life, literally since a baby. My DD was moving from London to east Sussex, and someone was feeding one of her cats, this one was gorgeous. H e was so ill she thought he was being poisoned,cost her thousands in vet bills. She tried putting warning collars on him. He would disappear for weeks on end. One day she was walking towards her house,a boy of about 10, said "look dad that's where the cat lives" his dad shut him up. I would have followed them and told him to leave the cat alone! when she had her moving date, I collected him. He was a beautiful long haired boy, lumps of fur had been hacked off, and he was covered in baked on poo! We reckon they fed him crap, kept him in so he couldn't get to poo outside, or home. We had him when she went on holiday. We do have a flap, for our dogs. He immediately learnt how to use it, but was like yours, coming in the bedroom multiple times, clawing at our bed. Tried closing the door, she clawed and scratched it. DH was getting up at 5 for work. He was 3, so not his age. She asked me to keep him, I couldn't. She had no trouble rehoming him.

Fibrous · 03/03/2025 09:52

Do you not have a cat flap? I’ve always had cats and they’re very active at night. I stayed at my fathers house last week and they have a cat that they won’t let outside and it kept me up all bloody night every night I was there, as it wants to go out and hunt. Drove me mad.

Imbusytodaysorry · 03/03/2025 10:00

Are they up To date with worming ?
Are you feeding them wet meat through the day at set times? So breakfast lunch and dinner if not then this may settle them.
My cat is 14 soon and she gets up at dusk for her dry food and toilet and used her scratch post .
Do you have one of those they could occupy themselves with ?
I wouldn’t be feeding them biscuits as such as they are just like us eating Kit Kats as a meal, it needs to be like a Purina which is a meal rather then a snack for Cats

Pickingmyselfup · 03/03/2025 10:01

Can you shut them in a different part of the house? Try playing with them before you go to bed and then feed them to see if they settle down.

Kittens are crazy but they do grow out of the madness. My cat is in her teens now but we still have to shut her downstairs or she wakes us up in the night.

Sleep deprivation is torture but if that's the only issue I think it's worth exploring different things to see if it helps.

Original poster
nationalshirehorse · 03/03/2025 10:01

We do @Fibrous but they don’t want to go out … they want food.

@Gettingbysomehow i have to admit this is why I’ve always had older cats! Kittens are adorable but a menace. I don’t think I have it in my heart to rehome them but we do have an outhouse and I might have to put them there overnight as it just isn’t sustainable on me and it isn’t fair on the children if they’re woken.

OP posts:
AnonAnon64 · 03/03/2025 10:01

ArabellaWeird · 03/03/2025 09:34

People used to put the cat out at night, not bring it in. This is why. Set up a shed outside with some bedding, put them out when you go to bed and leave them to it.

This or put them somewhere like the utility room away from the sleeping areas. Close the door and keep them there. Our dog sleeps in the utility otherwise he’d push into the kids rooms and wake them.

minipie · 03/03/2025 10:02

My suggestions

Cat flap so they can go in and out

Automatic feeder timed to feed at 4.30 am

Personally, I would stop giving wet food and give dry food only, that way they are not waiting for the wet food

and yes wedge the door!

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