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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be dragging down with dental issues and money worries...

9 replies

swirlysandmore · 02/03/2025 22:16

I can feel myself going into a dark place. I'm having a really hard time trying to claw my way out and just hoping writing it down might help.

I have crap teeth. I go to the dentist and get stuff sorted but it's just endless. It's now private and no NHS dentistry round here.

About a week ago, my tooth broke, just on absolutely nothing. I've also got a filling that needs redoing. I've got an appointment in a few weeks to start looking at it all. It'll cost a lot. Probably £1000ish if I'm lucky. The only place we can get the money from is the savings account for a holiday we had planned with the children. It'll mean we can't go on the holiday. (Payment plans are on credit which I can't get and emergency 111 stuff is just a patch up)

I feel so ashamed that my teeth will stop them all from having the holiday they think we're going on (I know it's first world problems but I'm sad for them and I just feel ashamed). When you have crap teeth, you are always made to feel it's because you don't look after them or prioritise it or don't clean your teeth properly. I do. I try so hard.

I also can't really eat due to the issues. I can have porridge, soup etc (stuff I hate) so I'm just not really eating and I know that isn't helping my mood but I've lost my appetite because of the discomfort and the worry. I'm also really phobic of dental work but I make myself do it. I feel so tearful at what's in store.

I just hate it. I'm such a loser and a burden. I've had endless health problems and dental problems and no one else ever seems to have so much going on. Everyone else has nice smiles. What is even wrong with me. I hate it.

OP posts:
mumyes · 02/03/2025 22:23

You are not a loser.

If your children are loved, fed, clothed & housed, you are amazing.

I mean this kindly, but please get some perspective. Your kids will be ok without a holiday. Go camping instead, or stay with relatives to keep it cheap.

Kingsleadhat · 02/03/2025 22:26

I'm sorry to hear this. I also have crap teeth and an endless amount of work that I can't afford stretching ahead of me. I have mild hyper mobility and think some of my dental issues are a result of dodgy collagen production. My dad was the same. Could this be the case with you? It helps a bit of you understand it's not your fault xx

swirlysandmore · 02/03/2025 22:29

mumyes · 02/03/2025 22:23

You are not a loser.

If your children are loved, fed, clothed & housed, you are amazing.

I mean this kindly, but please get some perspective. Your kids will be ok without a holiday. Go camping instead, or stay with relatives to keep it cheap.

I know they will.

I'm just ashamed of having to tell them all it's being cancelled because of me. I'm angry it costs so much. I'm angry at myself for having shit teeth. I'm angry at myself for not having enough money.

OP posts:
swirlysandmore · 02/03/2025 22:31

Kingsleadhat · 02/03/2025 22:26

I'm sorry to hear this. I also have crap teeth and an endless amount of work that I can't afford stretching ahead of me. I have mild hyper mobility and think some of my dental issues are a result of dodgy collagen production. My dad was the same. Could this be the case with you? It helps a bit of you understand it's not your fault xx

There's a genetic component of some sorts in my family I'm sure.

DH and the children have perfect teeth, never any problems. Which I'm pleased about. But they don't understand and I'm sure think it's because I just don't clean my teeth properly.

OP posts:
mumyes · 02/03/2025 22:40

Please don't be ashamed. Xxx
That's such a strong word to use. It sounds like this is out of your control. Flowers

oustedbymymate · 02/03/2025 22:43

Not overly helpful but are you using super high fluoride toothpaste? It's prescription only

swirlysandmore · 03/03/2025 09:03

oustedbymymate · 02/03/2025 22:43

Not overly helpful but are you using super high fluoride toothpaste? It's prescription only

No I haven't ever been recommended that.

OP posts:
swirlysandmore · 03/03/2025 09:04

mumyes · 02/03/2025 22:40

Please don't be ashamed. Xxx
That's such a strong word to use. It sounds like this is out of your control. Flowers

Thank you, ashamed, embarrassed and very low is how I feel right now.

OP posts:
RedVelvetIcing · 03/03/2025 09:07

My tooth broke at the back after an hygienist appointment and my dentist isn’t interested in fixing it unless it causes me problems as you can’t see and the front of the tooth is fine. It did cause me a lot of upset as it was after id have an infection on another tooth.

See what they say and it might not be as bad as you think.

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