Hotel costs - is dsis a cf?

[AreYouTheFarmer7]

A short break, expensive-ish hotel…

Our group are:
1 family of 5 (us)
1 family of 4 (dsis)
1 single grandmother

Dsis has booked 3 family rooms - expected occupancy was dsis family in 1 room, us minus 1 dd in another, grandmother and dd in another.

We’ve paid for 1 room plus 50% of the room grandmother and dd are staying in… All fine…

Now the suggestion has been made by dsis that her dd (19) may stay in the room with grandma and dd ‘to help grandma’ (dd is 8 and very independent, dm absolutely does not need help to look after her - they will literally just be going to the room to sleep, activities planned for the whole trip)

AIBU to think that if she wants her dd to sleep in the room we should split the cost of that room 3 ways?

I'm betting the 19yr old 🙄

I just couldn’t be bothered to make this an issue.

I am a grandma. If I was sharing a room and paying 50% I would absolutely expect my own bed and the kids share the other bed. In reality, when me and my DDs went away for a few days with 2 grandchildren, I paid for both rooms and the train tickets.

Does she know you’re paying half of that room for your daughter? I feel if she doesn’t know, and assumes the grandma is paying for it, whatever, but if she knows you’re paying half and has now put her daughter in there too, that’s out of order. But there’s no point complaining unless you’re going to say something about it, I know you don’t like conflict but she needs to be told, and asked to pay more.

So if each room was £200 then:

• Dsis paying £200 (£50 p/person)
• You paying £300 (£60 p/person)
• Granny paying £100 (£100 p/person)

Think Granny's being shafted tbph.

If this was my family we'd divide the whole cost by 10 and pay £60 pp. So:

• Dsis £240
• You £300
• Granny £60

It’s this, I think this was the plan all along. Her children are 16 and 19 and unlikely to be thrilled to share a bed. It’s the suggestion that her dd would be helping, when really it’s giving them more space in their room, and essentially a free place in the room we’ve paid for (and my dd/cousin/grandma will need to share a bed) that’s annoying.

Yes, she knows, she booked it and let me know what my share was.

If I was Granny, I just wouldn't go.

I agree with this 10000%.
We go away as a massive family group every year and make our intentions clear from the beginning, ie each family will state how many rooms they require and it’s booked and paid for per room needed.
If anything changed and someone maybe owed a bit more they’d just contribute something like a box of wine or a bit more towards the food shop but no one quibbles or seethes about perceived annoyances.
If anyone did I imagine they’d have stopped going and we’ve been doing this for 20+ years now.

How about “Hi DSis. Has something happened that means Granny needs help? Will your DD be sharing a bed with my DD? If so do you want to send the 25% straight to my a/c? Please let me know asap.”

I would agree and would be happy with this - it would mean Dsis paying more though, so that would be a non starter. 🙄

Speak to your sister and use the approach that it's not fair for your mum to be paying 50% of the room price when she's sharing with two others. You may find it easier to ask for money for her. That room price should be split three ways.

Splitting by rooms doesn't work for us... Cost is divided by nightly cost. Earning adults split cost equally.. Dc under 18 /not working (college) go free but their dps fund food costs for them.

off topic but I can't think of anything worse as a 16/19 year old than sharing a room with my entire family/grandmother, and a bed with my sibling/8 year old cousin
Could you not have gone to a less expensive hotel and had more rooms?

But, yes, on the face of it your sister is being cheeky, but all you can do is point that out to her - say 'I don't see what help GM would need - she is able to put herself to bed and we will all be just down the corridor if there's an emergency. If your dd wants to swap rooms then if GM is okay with it DD doesn't mind but it's only fair to split the cost three ways in that case, so you owe me X and GM X.'

I would just contact her and say "'as you dd will now be sharing with my dd and grandmother you can send x amount to my account to cover your share"

Don't make a big deal out of it but you need to make the expectation clear

I'd just make it clear you've paid for 1/2 the room and your 8 year old will be having the bed. 19 year old can have a single cot brought in or sleep on the pull out couch if there is one.

Yes, this. I’d be fine paying the 50% but 19 year old will have to sleep with grandma or on pullout bed. It sounds like she probably has too many dc and they don’t want to share and is hoping if she pushes the older one into the other room, then your dd will get pushed out of her bed as the youngest. I’m pretty sure neither granny nor an older teen want to share a bed with anyone.

Yeah she's a bit of a cf for this. Three people in the room means it should be split three ways. You're now subsidising her DD.
Check grandma is ok with room sharing and find out who is bed sharing. Just say "I've checked with grandma and she'd love to have two granddaughters for a sleep over and it makes her room cheaper - bonus!" That makes it hard for your sis to wriggle out of it.

To the PPs saying let it go it's family, yes true. But the fact the OP is asking this makes me think she has form.

This is silly. It's family, your DN. How much are you hoping to recover? It's not worth making a big issue of this unless it's a very expensive hotel.