AIBU for thinking my mum shouldn’t have comforted this child?

[TheBerry]

I was at the supermarket with my mum and son and we passed a woman with her son of about 6. He was wailing / kinda having a bit of a tantrum. As we passed, the mum suddenly yelled, “Leo, be quiet!!!”

I don’t think it’s good to shout at your children, obviously, but I know I’ve done it before when I’ve lost my temper. From this isolated incident, I didn’t feel I could judge the mum, and I was ready to just keep walking.

My mum was clearly a bit shocked and she stopped and started saying stuff to the boy like, “Don’t worry, it’s ok,” until I dragged her away. The boy’s mum didn’t say anything but I think she was suitably shamed because she gave the boy a hug.

Of course I wholeheartedly believe you should step in if you see a child being abused or if a child is distressed but idk in this instance it just seemed unnecessary and interfering to me. The kid wasn’t truly distressed, he was just having a tantrum, and as far as I could tell the mum just lost her shit for a second. I get my mum felt bad for the child but I also think there may have been an element of wanting to shame the mum.

Wondering what others think. I might be biased because I often find my mum a bit annoying / embarrassing!

YABU - your mum was right to say something
YANBU - the kid was ok and your mum was just meddling / overreacting

Even if this mum was an absolutely terrible mother I don't see how this sort of interfering is going to help.

Trying to undermine her parenting is crossing the line, never mind hugging someone’s small child in the supermarket! Your mums behaviour is really strange.

If I was the mum I think I'd have been really upset

I remember a time with my child where we were going through a really hard time with her behaviour. She was 6 I think.
We were in supermarket she'd just kicked or hit me. Not hard but that's not the point is it. I must have said something crossly to her. Some man said something like 'we don't all want to listen to you arguing' I can't remember the exact words but it was awful. I was teary coming out. Was having such a hard time with her (and still do now) and I felt awful

Sorry, my post isn’t clear, I mean the boy’s mum hugged him. Not that my mum hugged him.

It's one of those nobody is really wrong situations - I once had a parent ask me if I was ok when I was taking my dd into nursery, actually I wasn't ok, I was exhausted, my dd was screaming as she didn't like nursery, my older one was having to be dragged into school and it wasn't working out and I was horribly late for work and about to get into trouble.

I didn't mind being called out for being less than Mary poppins but whatever you say it generally makes a parent feel like total poo. I still remember it and avoided that parent for years after.

Otoh, mine are older now and I get it, it's unpleasant to see any child being shouted at, even when you've been there.

I mean are you really going to tell a bear stranger that no, you're not ok, and you're having a really bad day? Would that help?

But I don't think someone expressing that the situation is off in some way is really bad either.

I would have told her to mind her own business, I hate it when people fail to mind their own business, I was arguing with my father in a supermarket car park and an elderly woman passing by said "leave her alone you old bastard", I told her to mind her own business.

It was clear.

i don't know about the situation though. I think you needed to be there to read body language/tone of voice etc

but anyway, I'd let it drop now..

Your post seems pretty clear to me.

I think she's probably let it drop now

There are many reasons why some children have a tantrum, some people assume they are just being naughty, some children can't handle noise above a certain level and in some situations they have a sudden meltdown maybe because they are non verbal and autistic.

but anyway, I'd let it drop now..

This happened 7 months ago, so one would hope she has let it drop 🤭