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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Close to burnout if not there

11 replies

SWmum21 · 02/03/2025 16:40

And having just popped to the shop entrusting my dh with children, return to find he has given dd1 a babybel for snack when 1) she is suppose to be strictly cheese etc free after a dr appointment last week and 2) not snacking because her fussy eating / meal refusal is so bad. I left the house for less than 40 minutes after battling to stick to this all weekend. Amongst many other things on my plate. I am the only one carrying the responsibility for all of us. It’s sent me over the edge. Am I overreacting? Is it ok for dh to give babybell knowing this background?

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 02/03/2025 16:42

It's not really about the babybell is it. It's very difficult living with an indifferent fuckwit who is dragging you down and doesn't give a toss.

rubyslippers · 02/03/2025 16:43

First reply nails it

violetsorrengail · 02/03/2025 16:44

It's a tricky one without more info I think. Why is she cheese free? How old is she? Personally I wouldn't stop cheese as a snack, if she's a fussy eater I'd be glad she's getting some protein - but obviously it depends why she's not supposed to have it. He is her father so can also make decisions about when she's allowed to eat.

FoolishHips · 02/03/2025 17:23

It sounds like you're turning her fussy eating into a huge deal. Why not just get healthy snacks and let her eat when she chooses? You won't force her to eat by denying her snacks.

I don't know what "cheese etc free" means but if it's because of a suspected lactose intolerance, there's virtually no lactose in cheese.

Original poster
SWmum21 · 02/03/2025 19:03

FoolishHips · 02/03/2025 17:23

It sounds like you're turning her fussy eating into a huge deal. Why not just get healthy snacks and let her eat when she chooses? You won't force her to eat by denying her snacks.

I don't know what "cheese etc free" means but if it's because of a suspected lactose intolerance, there's virtually no lactose in cheese.

She has severe long running gastro issues and so her consultant gastroenterologist has asked us to eliminate all foods containing the most dairy (specifically milk, cheese and yogurt). This is following a full dairy exclusion a few months again. Dh is well aware of the reasons and what is/isn’t a dairy food.

OP posts:
Original poster
SWmum21 · 02/03/2025 19:06

violetsorrengail · 02/03/2025 16:44

It's a tricky one without more info I think. Why is she cheese free? How old is she? Personally I wouldn't stop cheese as a snack, if she's a fussy eater I'd be glad she's getting some protein - but obviously it depends why she's not supposed to have it. He is her father so can also make decisions about when she's allowed to eat.

Suspected allergy/intolerance so following a full dairy exclusion a few months ago we’re back to excluding the worst offenders. We’ve been dealing with a huge set back this week after having an ice cream the previous week - dh alive to the consequences.

OP posts:
Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 02/03/2025 19:41

It's bloody cruel feeding a child a food that is potentially going to make them unwell. I'd be going through the fridge and cupboards removing any risky foods if you can't trust him to that degree.

Januaryiscoldandfrosty · 02/03/2025 19:48

Wakemeupbe4yougogo · 02/03/2025 19:41

It's bloody cruel feeding a child a food that is potentially going to make them unwell. I'd be going through the fridge and cupboards removing any risky foods if you can't trust him to that degree.

Agree, that's really not ok for your Dh to let your dc suffer like this. Very frustrating for you OP that you can't trust your dc's other parent to look after her properly.

Heronwatcher · 02/03/2025 19:49

What did your idiot DH say? Was it a genuine oversight? Assume you had other stuff in the house?

I’d probably have gone apeshit and made DH plan a weeks worth of vegan meals and then do an online order, and cook the food in advance. After all if he’s so fucking stupid the only safe thing is to eliminate dairy within the whole house…

Original poster
SWmum21 · 02/03/2025 20:31

Heronwatcher · 02/03/2025 19:49

What did your idiot DH say? Was it a genuine oversight? Assume you had other stuff in the house?

I’d probably have gone apeshit and made DH plan a weeks worth of vegan meals and then do an online order, and cook the food in advance. After all if he’s so fucking stupid the only safe thing is to eliminate dairy within the whole house…

Various excuses including he thought it was only ice cream (despite the consultant saying, and writing in the letter which he has a copy of, cheese). Then googled it and said well they’re lactose free (but they’re not dairy free which is the whole issue). Yes have a plethora of other snack options which are the go tos, she mustn’t have had a babybel in over 6 months they’re probably not even in date! Such a nonsensical parenting choice, it’s exasperating.

OP posts:
TheStigarette · 02/03/2025 20:34

I get it. You're carrying the burden alone. You've required him to do something easy and he can't manage. Lots of posters will somehow make this your fault....
I hear you. Sympathies.

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