To expect a restaurant to be able to do a pint of milk?

[YourAgileBiscuit]

My autistic DD (13) will normally only drink milk when we are out in restaurants etc.

Some restaurants (including chain restaurants and pubs/carvery places) get a bit funny about it when she orders/asks for milk though. Even though they already have milk for the kitchen and for teas/coffees. We’ve had some restaurants outright refuse as well even though they have milk in the building.

Is it unreasonable to expect restaurants to be able to serve milk for a paying customer? Of course we pay for her milk, we are not asking for it for free!

I would say about 50% of places we go to get funny about it which I don’t understand as they already have milk in the building.

I'm assuming it's not on the menu as a drink?

If it's not, then I would go the other way and say I'm surprised as high as 50% give you it.

Milk has a shelf life of what 2 weeks? So they will have ordered in what they normally need for what's actually on their menu.

Not always on the menu I don’t think although they do have milk in the building in most cases.

I do understand your frustration but also what you’d probably be willing to pay for a pint of milk is a million miles from what that pint would realise them used as they intended and due to the short life on milk it can be tight at the end of the day on stock.

So whilst I wouldn’t get funny about it necessarily it would be a more difficult request than you, as a customer, might realise.

Yes, but for coffees and teas. If you were ordering a small quantity, they’d probably be fine - but a pint probably considerably increases the chance that they’ll run out of milk and have to stop serving teas and coffees, which will have a much higher profit margin than you’d want to pay for a pint of milk for a kid.

I think I’d take a pint of milk with me and explain, if it’s not on the menu as a drink, and they don’t do anything else that would substitute (like a milkshake).

I don’t understand why they’d have an issue with it ? Milk is cheap and easy to get so surely it shouldn’t be a problem at all? I guess you could always take some with you as well in case but a lot of places don’t like outside food or drink being consumed on their premises . It can be hard to navigate things with a child with ASD and you’d hope that people would be more helpful it’s not as if you’re asking for some kind of obscure item !

Fair enough. I get that. A lot of places have got funny about it though even if they have milk in the building. I think the most we’ve been charged for a pint of it for DD is £3.50, which is fine, we don’t mind the cost honestly and will pay it, it’s just places getting funny about it or refusing

Well yes, but not an extra pint just in case. Food goes off. Waste costs money. If they normally sell eg 10 coffees in a day, and they need one pint for that, then they will have a pint. Plus maybe a bit more for just in case. Made up numbers. They're not going to give you that pint which isn't on the menu and then turn away 10 coffee requests which are on the menu. There's quite a few restaurants where milk is on the menu - I think pizza express is - they're the only ones I would expect it.
I would completely reframe your thinking - assume not, things are not in menus for reasons, then be happy if you get it.

YABU to expect them to provide drinks that are not on the menu. I mean you can ask but shouldn't expect it, if anything you should be pleased that half the places you go to accomodate it.

It's not that they are being awkward, it's that they buy the amount of milk they think they will need for their usual requirements. A pint of milk might not seem much to you but how many teas/coffees will that pint cover?

This is what I mean, I genuinely don’t understand why loads of places get funny about it or refuse. I could understand a few places getting funny about it or refusing but it seems to be around 50% which I don’t understand. And some places get even funnier about you bringing your own unfortunately, even funnier than they get about serving milk.

I would assume that as it’s not in the menu as a drink they will have accounted for the amount of milk they have in the kitchen with what is in the menu. A pint is quite a lot of teas and coffees with milk.

Even some places that have it on the menu as a “kids drink” get funny about it too.

If it's not on the menu then no, I wouldn't expect them to serve you milk, and especially not a pint!

If it's that important, phone and ask in advance and if it's not possible take your own pint of milk for your child to drink.

As long as you're happy to pay whatever they ask without quibbling. I think £3.50 is reasonable but they could ask for far more if it's not listed. Is there an upper limit on what you would pay?

If they have to send a staff member to go buy more milk then the cost of their time doing this is quite high.

Places aren't going to be keeping an extra pint of milk around for the very very rare occasion that a customer asks for it, when it is not on the menu.

Yes they have milk in the building but not for the purposes of serving it by the pint. Also there won't be a button for it on the till which causes issues especially in chain restaurants.

An independent place is more likely to be able to be flexible on this and send someone out for more if necessary.

Now that would surprise me. I would think that would be fine.

My DS is disabled and also only drinks milk or water. We always ask for milk for him in a restaurant / pub, even if it's not on the menu, and I can't remember ever having an issue with this, we've always been given it.

I've never asked for a pint of milk though, just a glass, so maybe they're happier to provide a smaller amount?

It’s milk though - you can pretty much guarantee you can get milk in any shop anywhere . People are always popping out for milk as we run out of it a lot and it’s readily available. I’d be putting customer satisfaction above milk rationing just in case we sell more coffees than expected ! It’s milk it shouldn’t be a big deal at all and as OP has said they are more than happy to pay for it and pay more than the cost of a pint of milk usually is too so I don’t see a problem .

Totally agree it’s probably more the issue of them ordering X amount for X time, and you ordering a pint leaves them short. The average person has about 5ml of milk in tea/coffee, 470ml ish in a pint so they could have made and sold & served 90 hot drinks with that milk for what £3 a cup so £270, vs you paying £3.50 for it? If it’s not on the menu as a drink option then it’s not an option

It’s not always a pint we ask for, sometimes a glass. But a lot of places get funny about either.

A pint of milk is a lot compare to how many children's milk drinks or tea and coffees they could make with that. I think YABU.

If they won’t serve you milk and you have your own with you I’m sure they can’t actually refuse for your dd to consume it as it would be discrimination

Only half joking but what if you were to order a latte or hot chocolate without the heating and the added coffee or chocolate?

Also I guess it's awkward for the servers to know what to charge etc.

Would you be annoyed if you were charged £2 and then another time £2.50 or £3?

Do people think chain restaurants buy their milk from the corner shop? It will delivered in whatever quantities they need for their drinks, potentially even in bags. They won’t just have a pint in the fridge that they can pop out and replenish from Tesco.

It would not be discrimination if you bring your own food into a restaurant. What rubbish.

Unless they are saying that your child cannot have milk when they are allowing other people to drink pints of it all round her then it is simply something you have to put up with.

You can't walk in to a restaurant and ask for a loaf of bread either or send them out for Heinz baked beans because that's what your child will eat.