To think people should keep their opinions to themselves regarding other people's weight

[HealthyandThriving]

I have recently lost around 3 stone in weight and I am getting annoyed/upset at other people's comments, for context I am sitting right bang in the middle of the healthy BMI range so I am not underweight. I also had support from a personal trainer and followed calorie counting and increased my exercise, I lost the weight gradually so wasn't a sudden transformation.

I have been asked several times if I am on Ozempic or injections (I'm not, not that it matters)
I have been told I better not lose anymore weight or I will look terrible
Someone text the other day and said ohh are you still really skinny
I have been asked umpteen times what my current weight is
Been told if I lose more my face will end up looking clapped in
Keep getting asked if I have been unwell
Been asked if I have loose skin or what my stomach looks like
Been told to put weight back on

Thsese are just some comments that come to mind and they are from coworkers, friends and acquaintances. I have also been told there is a group in the office who have been constantly gossiping being my back regarding my weight and they weren't being very kind.

I don't know why people think this is okay, they didn't ask my weight when I was bigger or show concern when my BMI was in the obese category putting me at higher risk of certain medical conditions, nobody text and said ohh are you still fat!!! Or even had a nice conversation from a place of concern but the minute I'm a healthy weight people think they have a right to an opinion on my body.

I don't think it's okay for these sort of comments relating to someone being slimmer when they wouldn't dream of saying anything to someone with a higher BMI, it can be very damaging!!

I think when you are smaller, or getting smaller after being bigger you are seen as fair game. Not as much when you are bigger or were smaller and are getting bigger - that is really not to suggest that fat people don't get loads of abuse but that I think is from dickheads rather than generally decent people. An otherwise ok person (woman usually) will think nothing of saying (lightheartedly) oh you skinny bitch, same person wouldn't say oh you fat bitch. My option and experience obviously. Similarly commenting on ones weight, oh you'll put weight on eating that - this was from a colleague. I bet you a million pounds that colleague has never gone up to an overweight female colleague and said the same.

It's all shit and women are just fair game to comment on, but different people and different comments.

YANBU.

But as someone who has recently lost weight (although I’m still obese) I’ve not had any remarks like that. People have complimented me and said I look well, I appear to have more energy etc which is obviously nice.

just tell them they need a hobby as they seem to spend so much time worrying about your weight.

I have lost three stone over eight months and have had lots of compliments

im open about using Mounjaro and yes I have had some negative comments how o will look older weight will return (I’m likely to stay on for good) and it’s cheating

I simply don’t care I feel much healthier and look better

some people love others to stay overweight I wasn’t aware it was a thing I am now

Well done. I can't believe people have the cheek to call it cheating, it's a prescribed medication that is helping you get healthier!! If my PT and diet didn't work I wouldn't be opposed to trying injections, I was just lucky that u didn't need them.

I think you are right as some of the comments towards me come across as jealousy, what happened to women supporting women 🤷‍♀️

it really doesn’t bother me I feel too pleased to let it bother me

one colleague has sent me a number of articles about the downsides or horror stories about the weight loss jabs (usually Ozempic and not prescribed but I am aware of the downsides) I just reply how interesting or thanks I shall read later 🙄 it’s her time she is wasting

The people behind these comments are thoughtless at best, malicious at worst, and yes OP I think you are entirely right to consider it unreasonable.

I suppose weight and appearance in women are so tied up with status and strange notions of competition and jealousy that it becomes a tempting source of gossip and commentary.

Perhaps some of the people expressing health concerns are well-meaning but I still don't see an excuse for such comments. Even if you had become underweight and were looking ill, unsolicited concern and criticism would still be unlikely to help you in any way (I doubt anyone wasting away with cancer or struggling with late onset anorexia is remotely helped by people warning them that they are losing weight too fast or will look old if they get thinner).

Besides, if you were genuinely unwell it would be your business whether you tell people.

All very annoying.

I was naturally skinny growing up and into my twenties and early thirties and people always made comments on my weight. But they wouldn't dare comment on someone being well built or slightly heavy. I guess its not PC to mention a bigger person's weight but people think ok to comment on thin people's weight.

Yeah, it is possible they are well meaning but it is annoying that these people never commented when I was bigger or getting bigger so I don't know these comments are coming from a place of concern at all, I'm sure everyone in a similar position agrees weight creeps up and by the time you notice it can be really hard to get it back off again.

I know being 'slim' is a nice problem to have but I went from having a bit more confidence in my new clothes to getting quite anxious ahead of gatherings as I know now to expect the comments. I even started wearing baggier clothes in to the office which I'm now annoyed at myself for.

I suppose it's all trivial and there are worse things in the world but I was getting a bit worked up and started thinking I was being unreasonable.

Maybe a bit of jealousy about your weight loss. In relation to not commenting on your weight gain do you not think people would just be too nervous to say to someone when they were putting too much weight on? What with all the issues re eating disorders people dont tend to mention weight gain.

I think you are right Joydreamer and totally agree that people might not comment on weight gain due to issues re eating disorders but I think they don't consider commenting on someones weight who they deem to be thinner can have also have a detrimental effect, commenting that someone is "too thin" or telling them they shouldn't lose more weight can contribute to the development of an eating disorder, particularly in individuals who may already be vulnerable. These comments can reinforce an unhealthy focus on body size, trigger anxiety about food and weight, or fuel disordered eating behaviors.

Even if the intent is well-meaning, remarks about someone's body can be harmful, as they may internalise them in ways that affect their self-image and relationship with food. This is especially true for those with a predisposition to eating disorders, a history of body image concerns, or underlying mental health struggles.

I think some people just need to do better and consider the impact of their words.

Yes and I dread to think what it must be like for teenagers growing up nowadays with social media and apps. No longer just about being thin for example but being thin with absolutely no flaws as everything is filtered and altered to unrealistic standards. I still find it amazing than an advert can be banned if its deemed the model is too thin when that model actually exists in real life but they arent monitoring all the endless adverts on social media for example where the models dont even look like the model herself as they've been edited so much.

I think it is rude to make personal comments of any sort except a “you look very smart” sort of thing.
I presume people think they are being nice because society values thin over fat and don’t imagine for a second that their remarks upset you.

i don’t think this is anything to do with your weight and everything to do with you being surrounded by people who are rude and don’t have any manners.

Mot mush you can do about family but I’d get some new friends and new colleagues.

Just tell them "I like to keep it a little mystery" or "is that important to you?". They should take the hint and if they don't it's because they are stupid and you probably should remove them from your life anyway.

You are not wrong. Rude and unnecessary.

Hose comments are absolutely rude and uncalled for. I have the opposite problem, I've lost 5 1/2 stone and no one comments on it! I went to a party at the weekend and felt really good all dressed up (I'm the slimmest I've been since I was 17!) and I haven't seen most of these people for about a year and only one person said anything. She was 18 and so lovely commenting how amazing I looked! Maybe she was just young and therefore spoke her mind whereas the others felt it would be rude to say anything. I was quite hoping for some comments though after working so hard 😂

I’ve also lost over 3 stone (and I’m really slim now) and a sum total of TWO people have noticed. So I actually wouldn’t mind personal comments 😂

But I get that it could be annoying for some.

You're not wrong, OP.

I lost a stone and a half a couple of years ago. It took me right to the top of the healthy bmi for my height and I wasn't quite at my goal.

I hated people commenting. I mean, it was all positive but I felt like I was under a microscope or in the spotlight. I did it for my health and to feel better and I did feel better but I felt so self conscious with the comments, that I deliberately put the weight back on.

I've now lost 1 stone 4lb and am about half a stone from where I want to be. And this time no one has said a word! 😁

Which I'm pleased about. I haven't done it because I want people to comment or compliment me. And I certainly haven't done it for people to criticise.

Don't comment on other people's weight. That's it.

That’s the problem isn’t it, one person’s compliment is another’s insult but you are instinctively supposed to know which is which.

People like to pigeon hole others and you’ve upset their expectations…

I lost nearly 3 stone years and years ago. It was v gradual and nobody really commented unless they hadn’t seen me for a while, then it was all positive.

But my always-skinny sister banged on relentlessly about how I looked unwell, was too thin etc. I have the same body shape as her and she still weighed less. Luckily I was already used to ignoring her put-downs. She seems happier now I’ve put a stone back on 🤣

I suppose just enjoy any positives and blithely tell the critics that you’re extremely happy with how you look. And congratulations - it’s a great achievement and I hope you proudly wear flattering outfits to work from now on!!

Massive well done to you Daisypod 👏

Out of all the comments I have had there have been 2 people that said along the lines of, 'have you lost weight?, you look amazing' which I don't mind and took it as the compliment they intended. It's the negative Nancy's and interfering Ingrid's I have a problem with 😂

Well done @TheMorels, that's amazing 👏 Hopefully you get a few 'wow you look amazing' soon, nothing wrong with comments like that

Well done @GreyCarpet and sorry you were so self conscious last time round. Good luck reaching your goal and I'm sure you look amazing

@Azaleahead Thank you. Sounds like your sister doesn't want you getting slimmer than her 🙈 glad you let it go over your head

I was a natural skinny Minnie as a teen and I got all the comments. I used to get asked how much I weighed, and did I eat. I also got the remarks assuming I was anorexic. I even went to see my GP asking about how I could put weight on. I was told I was fine as I was.

I had another skinny phase much later in life when I was in my mid 30s. Then it was work colleagues saying I was “so thin”.