Scalded myself and keep thinking what if toddler had been around

[Osha]

So this may seem a completely irrational post because it's a 'what if'.
I was prepping a small bucket of boiled water to take to the garden, to pour over my 2 year olds car seat. (It was filhy from food and she had an accident in it the day before, hence boiling water). Had scrubbed it down with soap and the hot water was for rinsing over. As I lifted the small bucket of countertop, the handle broke and I scalded the top of my thigh. Now I am fine.. minor small burn and checked at local minor injuries.
Reason I'm posting is that I just cannot stop worrying about what if my 2 year toddler had been around. She often wanders into the kitchen around me.. sometimes I forget she's there. This time she was completely in another part of the house and thankfully away from me, but just can't stop playing it over in my head and seeing her get hurt. Feel so silly for lifting the handle when common sense should tell me use both hands.. and the handle was compromised anyway, which I knew and so shouldn't have even taken the risk!
Feel like a silly, irresponsible mum and that I'm getting by on luck. I've been in tears about this and just looking at my precious child now, thanking God she is OK.

Ahh you poor thing, glad you weren't too badly burned

I get it though. The 'what ifs' can be torturous so I try to 'overpower' them by thinking "I've learned from this, so at least it'll never happen again, therefore my child will be protected in the future".

It works for me, but I have to keep repeating it over and over.

I'm sure you'll calm down when the shock goes away.

Op hope you are OK but I'd use antibacterial spray rather than boiling water.

Take the covers of the seat.bung them in the wash and clean the plastic

Poor you, I’m glad you’re ok. It’s pretty common to have wild what if thoughts for a few days after an accident, I remember doing so after a fairly minor car accident.

I recommend some basic self-CBT. Accept the thoughts, allow them to be recognised. Then try to really think how realistic they are. Nothing actually happened to your DC. I’m sure you’re not actually irresponsible or careless. Then try to move on to what you can do to improve safety around boiling water specifically, such as using both hands or checking the handle. And finally through to acceptance and self-forgiveness. Hopefully you’ll feel better in a day or two.

You need to relax, things happen in life that you can’t anticipate. Stop living with what if and live with the now. Don’t mess with your children’s psychy bc you’re obsessed with things going wrong. Make your children’s life magical and fun. Run in the rain, make life fun for them so they remember the good times. Not your angst. No one needs to deal with your demons and don’t put that on your plate. You need to make them enjoy their childhood. Not worry about you having a meltdown

I'm sure you would've checked for her before working with boiling water so I think you're fine.

It's probably a mental programming thing with some parents. I have toddlers and hate being around steep drops, even when they're not around. Every time I go down the stairs at work I imagine them falling over the edge when they've never even been in the stairwell before.

This seems like an unusually high level of anxiety to me.
Just something to keep an eye on, OP

This! I always say this, a lesson learnt means it won't happen again

Yes, definitely a lesson learnt.. thanks to all messages. I'll keep telling myself the positive of it which is I won't do that again therefore she will too be protected.
I get it,can't anticipate everything and life is too short not to love and laugh everyday.
Good advice re self help and CBT. That always helps 💯
Thanks everyone

I completely understand what you're talking about. My children are older now but I have a couple of "what if" moments from when they were little that could have ended in tragedy. Sometimes I would find the memories of the incidents start to overwhelm me but I would reign the thoughts by repeating phrases in my head like "it didn't happen, and dc is fine" which seemed to work. Eventually it stopped. You sound like a lovely caring mum. Keep focusing on all the positive moments 💕

I won't comment on the what-ifs but you can't clean a car seat like that. Take the covers off and wash them properly. Warm soapy water on the straps. If it goes mouldy it needs binning which is what's likely to happen your way without proper drying

Absolutely! That was my preference but one part didn't seem to be removed easily as the first and for some silly reason I thought I'd be disinfecting it much better this way. Wrong! Not worth the what ifs. Will be either doing it in the wash or using the anti bac spray as another user advised.
Safety first though, always.

My son was hit by a car 10 days after his 2nd birthday. He was completely unharmed (how??), not even a bruise. I was on the school run at the time so it became a fairly infamous incident. A friend called round to check on me an hour later and started talking about "what could have happened" and I shut it down quick. It was 18 years ago now and I never EVER allowed myself to think about what could have happened. That way lies insanity, don't do it, it didn't happen, focus on that.

I have three boys so this isn't my only "disaster averted" story but all three are healthy young adults now.

I'm the same, I torture myself over things that could have happened..however you have to just be thankful it didn't. It was an accident and your child was OK so try not to ruminate