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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop swimming lessons?

52 replies

CocoBean22 · 28/02/2025 22:47

DS almost 8 years has been doing swim lessons from toddler stage and is now at 78% of Stage 4.
He can swim confidently and has learnt lots. If he was to fall in the pool or sea I feel he could get himself to safety.
He's lost interest and enthusiasm in going to his swim lessons every week, he loves swimming in holiday all day every day with us as a family, swimming at home for fun in pools but has no interest in lessons anymore.
I think the thing that hasn't helped is they are assessed and moved up a certain percentage each lesson and he hasn't moved up much lately, the early stages he would go each lesson from 20% to 30% or more now it's more like 75%, 76%, 77% each week if that, some weeks he doesn't even move up as the instructor isn't assessing the children each week.
He's most interest.

He has also taken on two more extra sessions a week (totalling 3) of martial arts training which he LOVES so I think by the time swim lessons come around he's tired from school and then has training 3 times a week with MA.

So my question is.....

Is it ok/reasonable to stop swim lessons at this point?

Or Would you keep going regardless?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 28/02/2025 22:49

He can swim. Job done.

He can always pick them up again later if he shows interest.

SlaveToAGoldenRetriever · 28/02/2025 22:52

YANBU whatsoever - he’s a competent swimmer and is able to keep himself safe in the water, that’s all you need! DD stopped her lessons at that stage too. No point in continuing something he doesn’t enjoy.

tedibear · 28/02/2025 22:53

If he can swim well then yes I'd stop.

I let my eldest DD stop because she didn't want to go anymore and she cld swim well. She was getting upset before going and then when there too.

I would have liked her to go for longer as she wasn't long turned 6 and I felt she cld have got more out of it. No point forcing it though if they can swim well and no longer want to go.

I was worried DD would forget but next time we went swimming a few months later she was great and I was pleasantly surprised 😀

Original poster
CocoBean22 · 28/02/2025 22:54

NuffSaidSam · 28/02/2025 22:49

He can swim. Job done.

He can always pick them up again later if he shows interest.

Thank you ☺️ this is what I was wanting to hear, there is sooo much focus and pressure on learning to swim and not stopping until they are gala/competition level it has made me question our decision

OP posts:
Original poster
CocoBean22 · 28/02/2025 22:57

SlaveToAGoldenRetriever · 28/02/2025 22:52

YANBU whatsoever - he’s a competent swimmer and is able to keep himself safe in the water, that’s all you need! DD stopped her lessons at that stage too. No point in continuing something he doesn’t enjoy.

Thank you!
He loves swimming for fun with family and on holiday he will spend all day every day in the pool diving for toys, swimming, jumping in and on the inflatable assault courses they lure out.
Then I watch the swim lessons for £39 a week and think if he's doesn't enjoy the lessons what am I paying for?! Just to watch them go over and over doesn't crawl, then back stoke and froggy legs?! When are they ever going to use froggy legs in an emergency situation?! 😂

OP posts:
TickingAlongNicely · 28/02/2025 22:58

I felt that Swim England stages took a lot of joy fom swimming.

However... can he do breaststroke, freestyle and back stroke, at least a length of each? That's stage 5.

Taz55 · 28/02/2025 22:58

My daughter finnished after stage 5 - stage 5 & 6 they do a lot of water safety (swimming with clothes on, treading water etc.). I had wanted her to go to stage 6 but she complained so much I made a deal with her, if she stopped complaining every week she could Finnish at after stage 5, she stopped complaining!

TheSandgroper · 28/02/2025 23:37

At this age, I found dd plateaued while her brain geared up for the next push. When it came, it was really noticeable between one week and the next.

Australia has had so many drownings this summer, I would never suggest giving up lessons at the age of 7. He will learn so much more in the next couple of years.

MarchInHappiness · 28/02/2025 23:46

My DD was a swimmer (she's 25 now so this is awhile ago), but by the time you get to 9/10 you enter into the world of competitive swim training etc. She joined a club at 9. So, there is not much point sticking with the swimming now he's 8 and he doesnt enjoy the lessons, it could potentially destroy his interest in swimming, and like you say its wasting money.

bringmelaughter · 01/03/2025 07:45

Stage 4 generally isn’t a strong, competent swimmer. They’re unlikely to be able to get themselves out of trouble just able to potter in a pool. I’d be cautious stopping so soon.

HoppityBun · 01/03/2025 07:47

MarchInHappiness · 28/02/2025 23:46

My DD was a swimmer (she's 25 now so this is awhile ago), but by the time you get to 9/10 you enter into the world of competitive swim training etc. She joined a club at 9. So, there is not much point sticking with the swimming now he's 8 and he doesnt enjoy the lessons, it could potentially destroy his interest in swimming, and like you say its wasting money.

I agree - putting him off swimming altogether is a real possibility. He can always restart later

InTheRainOnATrain · 01/03/2025 08:02

Stage 4 is by no means a competent swimmer. From memory it only ask for some floating, 10 metres in each stroke and a log roll?? If DC can’t do that then they’re likely not really safe to swim independently and they’re not safe around water. I know the swim England things are a bit funny and I wouldn’t necessarily push completing stage 5 because who cares about butterfly but I’d want DC to demonstrate to me that they can swim 100m on their front and back plus tread water for 2 minutes. If they can do that then I’d let them stop.

spooooook · 01/03/2025 08:30

Yes I've always thought stopping after completing stage 5 is the rig time.
My kids despise the lessons so I do sympathise but I just see it as non-negotiable- like brushing their teeth or whatever, it has to be done.

PumpkinPie2016 · 01/03/2025 08:37

Stage 4 isn't what I would call a competent swimmer. He is unlikely to have good stroke technique and the ability to swim at least a length of all 4 strokes (though you could leave fly and just focus on breast, back and front crawl).

I would try to keep going a bit longer- maybe try a different swim school.

I agree with not pushing beyond that if he isn't enjoying it but I would make sure he is competitive doing a full length in the recognised strokes.

As an aside, swimming is good exercise too!

LuckysDadsHat · 01/03/2025 08:45

Level 4 isn't a competent swimmer by any stretch of the imagination. If he was level 7 or 8 then I would agree. My daughter has just moved from 4 to 5 and no way would I let her give up yet.

LuckysDadsHat · 01/03/2025 08:47

CocoBean22 · 28/02/2025 22:57

Thank you!
He loves swimming for fun with family and on holiday he will spend all day every day in the pool diving for toys, swimming, jumping in and on the inflatable assault courses they lure out.
Then I watch the swim lessons for £39 a week and think if he's doesn't enjoy the lessons what am I paying for?! Just to watch them go over and over doesn't crawl, then back stoke and froggy legs?! When are they ever going to use froggy legs in an emergency situation?! 😂

Show quote history

£39 a week?!?!?!?! Do you mean a month? As it's £30 a week for a private 1-1 lesson around here (south coast).

Iloveeverycat · 01/03/2025 08:55

The thing that I worry about if it is so important to swim and a lot of people can not afford to pay for lessons or go swimming why at school do they only have about 5 lessons in year 5 and 6 and learn nothing. It should be part of the curriculum.

Octavia64 · 01/03/2025 08:56

Competent swimmer is generally 25 m no problems.

If he wants to do surfing or windsurfing of sailing or whatever courses later on that's the standard they ask for.

Can he do that?

apotdw · 01/03/2025 08:59

Stage 4 seems a little early, I'd say stage 6 at least for a competent swimmer. I let my DS quit during stage 7 because he'd been there for a while and just wasn't progressing, and he could evidently swim, he just couldn't do all the strokes to their standards, but then it would be a lottery what they would do, felt like back stroke every week.

I do empathise though, they're not very fun and it's very hit or miss what they cover, some stages we flew through, others we got unnecessarily stuck.

OMGInShock · 01/03/2025 08:59

I would probably let him stop but try to get him one or two private lessons at the beginning of each summer.

stichguru · 01/03/2025 09:07

I don't know what all the stages are. Can he confidently swim 25meters with no floaties? If he can, he can get himself out of danger mostly and can stop, if he can't he needs to get to that point.

FiveBarGate · 01/03/2025 09:07

Do you go swimming as a family? I taught mine myself as couldn't get in anywhere.

When a space finally opened up I grabbed it but found it very limited. They were waiting so long for things like butterfly to come round the cycle again to be assessed.

It was taking up such a chunk of weekend (we are a distance from pool) that it really limited time for us to go. I decided I'd rather improve their stamina and make sure they are doing a regular 20 lengths of non perfect front crawl than 15m of text book butterfly.

If you can get them swimming regularly then stop but if you don't go between holidays I'd keep going a bit longer.

DazedDragon · 01/03/2025 09:12

He can swim and is no longer enjoying the lessons so yes stop!

My DS didn't start swim lessons until age 8 but almost finished stage 4 in 18 months! We stopped as the progress was so slow and the % crept up so slowly.

Mynewnameis · 01/03/2025 09:15

My daughter is stage 5 and no way she's stopping. Her swimming is ok technically but not strong. Her sister stopped aged 11 at end of stage 6. I'd rather her continue for longer to be honest.

Moveoverdarlin · 01/03/2025 09:16

Giving up lessons at age 7 is fine, but they’re not a strong swimmer. My DD is in stage 6 and I can’t believe how much she’s come on in the last two months. The standard has ramped up significantly. She can swim further and they’re really working on technique now. She’s 9.