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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Incident has put me off the job

40 replies

CandidSnake · 28/02/2025 22:27

Not really an AIBU but I am a swimming teacher, relatively new to teaching (2 years).

Just after Xmas a child went under in my stage 2 swimming lesson, learner pool, water less than a metre deep.

He wasn't a particularly confident swimmer, could follow instructions well but had no under water confidence, he probably should have still been at stage 1 for a little longer, however not the only stage 2 swimmer I have that lacks in under water confidence.

The class has a wide age range, some of the children around 7 and others as young as 4. Around 3 of them I would class as non swimmers with no under water confidence. I always keep those swimmers next to me in the water.

I set an activity for more advanced swimmers in the group.

The three swimmers who are not confident I set an easier and different task, however he possibly didn't hear or understand and began to swim across the pool on the harder task and ended up going under the water.

I saw him struggling and I was very close to him when it happened but not close enough to stop him momentarily going under, I pulled him up straight away but he was extremely shaken and burst into tears. I could see he would not have calmed down so I called the parent onto poolside and explained what had happened.

I reported the incident, no lifeguard intervention was necessary.

However after this he refused to get back in the pool and the lessons have been cancelled.

We did offer for him to drop back down to stage 1 but he still wouldn't get back in.

I feel awful about this whole thing and it's played on my mind ever since, I am worried that I have put him off swimming for life, I never became a swimming teacher to put anyone off swimming.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this but work didn't seem to understand the depth of my feelings on the incident.

OP posts:

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:00

OneWittySquid · 01/03/2025 08:42

I'm experienced swimming teacher and school swimming teacher. It sounds like half your group are in the wrong stage. I teach ducklings to independently stop themselves on their front and back. It's the first thing we cover so they know to put their foot down and movement work in the water so they wouldn't invehertaly submerge themselves. I'm guessing the water depth is 0.80 metres so he was able to stand but didn't know how to.

My stage 1 at the end they are already swimming with one float front and back and started with arms. My suggestion would be always set a stronger swimmer and a weaker one together and always be in front or to the side. Stage 2 there should be more water confidence and have a certain level of independence. Maybe dicuss the requirements with your duty manager.

@OneWittySquid I took over a couple of sets of lessons from a teacher who left and was known to be moving children up too quickly.

I have moved a couple back down to stage 1, both sets of parents were fine with it, in fact one of the parents evening said to me that they didn't think their child was ready for stage 2.

To be honest when he came into my class I had a feeling he was going to struggle not due to lack of listening ability but more down to lack of water confidence.

It was a lesson to me as a relatively new teacher to go with my gut feeling and move children back down if they are not ready for the stage.

I personally don't move children up from stage 1 until they are on one float/ noodle and will confidently go under water (full submersion) and will also jump into the shallow end of the main pool. Obviously plus the other criteria.

Yes the depth was 0.8 he could stand but hadn't learned the skill or lacked the confidence to do so, it was the panic that caused him to go under.

We start our lessons from age 3, we don't have ducklings past age 3 which I don't agree with as some children are not ready for S1 and we have no where to send them

OP posts:

Theextraordinaryisintheordinary · 01/03/2025 14:04

You did a good job! Try not to dwell on it. Nothing else for you to do or worry about now. Let it go. You sound like a great teacher.

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:05

Iwanttoliveonamountain · 01/03/2025 08:40

Is there a legal ratio for children under seven? Sounds like to me that there was too many and some quite tiny children.

Up to age 5 - 6 children to 1 teacher
After 5 (stage 1)- 8 children to 1 teacher
Stage 2/7 - 10 children to 1 teacher

OP posts:

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:09

JMSA · 01/03/2025 04:19

Precious kid, precious parents.
Be thankful you're not his class teacher
It's human nature to dwell on the one bad thing, so think of all the children you're helping and don't take it personally

I mean the parents were not horrible to me or anything, even when I called them after the incident.

I do think it really shook him up, he was 4 years old.

He was just put in a stage 2 class too quickly

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 01/03/2025 14:10

You didn't do anything wrong.

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:11

MinnieCoops · 01/03/2025 08:17

Nah the parents are being ridiculous. Just compounding his slight dunking.

Forget it like he would have done if they had carried on with lessons.

The parents were okay with me, he was very upset

OP posts:

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 01/03/2025 14:12

Instead of dwelling on one pupil think of what you have done for all of the others. It sounds like he just wasn’t ready, that’s not anyone’s fault. Don’t let it knock your confidence. I couldn’t do your job, not many people could!

Katemax82 · 01/03/2025 14:14

My daughter has swimming lessons and went under and inhaled some water on lesson 4 or 5 I think. It was horrible for her and she cried her eyes out at the time but she still does the lessons a year on. Don't feel bad that this boy has been too scared to come back, every child is different and you did nothing wrong

BelleDeJourRose · 01/03/2025 14:14

You couldn't have done any more. The parents have probably decided to give him a little break and then introduce it gradually on holiday or something at a pace he's comfortable with. Paddling etc. Which is the right way to deal with it. Try not to worry.

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:14

Ameliepoulainandthephotobooth · 01/03/2025 14:12

I think you're right, that's what I need to do, it was a complete accident 😔

OP posts:

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:17

Balloonney · 01/03/2025 08:52

You did your job properly, the parents respect their child's feelings towards swimming now and aren't forcing him to continue- there's not anything else you can do OP, this will happen as a swimming teacher and he'll probably get back into it at some point.

I'd say though perhaps use it to encourage you to trust your gut more if it seems someone is in the wrong group.

I totally agree they have respected their child's feelings, and I feel they have done the right thing in doing that.

OP posts:

Original poster

CandidSnake · 01/03/2025 14:20

FuckityFux · 01/03/2025 10:32

Most phobias start due to a specific incident in childhood so it’s quite possible that he might be traumatised for life unless he gets the right support early enough.

Personally, I’m not a fan of group swimming lessons for very inexperienced swimmers and think many children would benefit far more with a few 1:1 lessons initially. Then when they can swim a little bit and are more confident in the water, they can join a group lesson.

Show quote history

@FuckityFux that's what's worried me since the incident, I can only hope he has the confidence to go back in and enjoy the water again.

OP posts:

flowerrrrpoweerr · 02/03/2025 01:30

It sounds like you did everything you should have, the child just went under water?

Obviously up to the child/parents as to whether they continue and yes some kids wouldn't be able to cope with the loss of control.

I would have thought at the point that children were in a pool independently as part of a group lesson that they could handle getting their faces wet and having their faces & heads under water?

My DC is unusual (though I imagine I was the same because I loved swimming and especially under water) but even as a baby they had their hair washed by pouring water over them (in a pleasant way!) and accidentally getting water into their eyes. Now as a toddler they are very confident getting their face wet in a swimming pool and although not intentional they always seem to get a full head dunk each time we go. Yes it can be a shock, but they are with me and I'm right there to grab them and reassure so they are right back to having fun within seconds.

Maybe this child's parents don't swim or having exposed them to bring in the water and comfortable with that state before just starting swimming lessons because it's a tick box of life skills they think the child should have, without putting in the foundations of appreciating and enjoying being in water and how that feels to the body?

So hopefully they will go away and do this before booking group lessons again?

MerchSwyddEfrog · 02/03/2025 01:51

I would try not to worry and beat yourself up about this incident. The boy was very young and sometimes it’s best to come back to an activity after a break. My ds had a similar thing happen when he was learning how to swim and he started refuse to get into the pool. He got scared as the pool was very deep and he could no longer stand up and touch the bottom. We stopped the lessons and restarted a few years later when he was ready and he’s now a fantastic swimmer.

TempestTost · 02/03/2025 02:11

CandidSnake · 28/02/2025 22:27

Not really an AIBU but I am a swimming teacher, relatively new to teaching (2 years).

Just after Xmas a child went under in my stage 2 swimming lesson, learner pool, water less than a metre deep.

I set an activity for more advanced swimmers in the group.

I reported the incident, no lifeguard intervention was necessary.

However after this he refused to get back in the pool and the lessons have been cancelled.

We did offer for him to drop back down to stage 1 but he still wouldn't get back in.

I feel awful about this whole thing and it's played on my mind ever since, I am worried that I have put him off swimming for life, I never became a swimming teacher to put anyone off swimming.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this but work didn't seem to understand the depth of my feelings on the incident.

Your feelings are just normal, but I would not let it get you down.

Kids are funny. It's totally normal for some children to react like this with swimming, most don't, and you did everything right.

FWIW - my son went under in a swim lesson at about age 5 when he and the other kids were being pushed on a floating device for fun by the instructor, and a large wave suddenly came. He wouldn't swim again for years. It was too bad for him but just one of those things, he certainly now, at 15, doesn't blame the teacher, nor do I.

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