Children at bedtime: losing it

[Cdu2021]

I wonder if my DC (6 and nearly 4) are especially hard work or if I'm just not patient enough.
I lose my s*** nearly every bedtime I do on my own (when DH isn't around, which is about 80% of the time).
A typically "tough" evening would be:

• at dinner, both DC loudly bang their cutlery on the table, refuse to eat what I make, spill their water on the table on purpose, laugh at me when I get cross
• brushing teeth: I have to yell about 10 times for them to go and do it, will end up with one of them spitting their toothpaste all over the mirror
• getting into pyjamas is a battle, have to physically manhandle them to do it
• lots of shouting and shrieking and general loud chaos...

At any point during the above I will lose it so badly that I might lock myself in the loo, or keep them "locked" in their bedrooms for time out for a few minutes, or manhandle them or tell them I will leave or all of the above, which will result in them crying and saying I am mean...
So please tell me if that's just a tough age but normal behaviour, and I need to control myself better?

Agree with all of this

sure the 6yr wouldn't behave like this at school

the teacher wouldn't put up with it

boundaries and stick to them

with consequences if they don’t

I’m afraid I gave in to “supper” as hungry kids wouldn’t stay asleep all night … so.. early meal then toast or weetabix before bed. Part of routine.

what a nightmare tho, it’s taxing , strength!!

It sounds like they are enjoying the reaction they are getting from you. If you don't rise to it and stay calm, they're more likely to calm down too.

If they muck about at the dinner table, remove their food and drink and that's that.

Don't yell 10 times about teeth brushing, just take them upstairs and into the bathroom to get their teeth done - ignore silly behaviour and stay calm and focused. Same with pyjamas - don't give attention for bad behaviour, just get them changed as quickly as you can and into bed. Tell them if they are quiet and well behaved you will read a story each. If not, a quick kiss goodnight and lights out.

You will need to keep calm and be consistent. After a few days, they will start to see that you mean business. We always had quiet time after dinner, no loud games or running around, just reading or gentle tv program before getting ready for bed - basically an hour or so of winding down.