To have walked out?

[Allornothing9]

I have been with DD (3yo) all day. From the second she woke up. We had a lovely day, we went to a theme park, but I was exhausted tonight. DH came home from work at 7:30 when we were reading bedtime stories, said good night to her and went off to watch tv. I said my patience is really thin this evening, I feel shattered. I did the stories, kisses etc, and then she started crying when I left. I went back in a few times but I felt myself getting dangerously close to snapping so I got my car key, told him I needed to get out for some space and left him to manage it.

I do bedtime every single night, I do the 30,000 trips up and down the stairs, the cuddles, the songs, the one more drink. DH just sits and says ‘she doesn’t want me’, watching tv as I run around like a blue arsed fly.

He just messaged me saying it was really out of order to do that when I know she doesn’t want him. Was I? He’s her dad, surely it’s a shit excuse at this point and he needs to figure out a way of helping me with bedtime. We both work full time condensed across 4 days.

Ask him, if he can’t look after his own child for one evening, what’s the point of him?

Not unreasonable at all. I suggest you do it more often, so that he learns how to contend with this part of parenting. His dangly bits do not preclude him from participation.

It's not called him 'helping' you, it's called him parenting. He needs to shape up or ship out basically.

Don't blame you OP

YANBU. He needs to step up.

Not unreasonable at all. Sometimes you just need a break and better you took yourself out of the situation if you felt yourself starting to crack. If he can't look after her for one evening then what good is he as a partner and a father?

YABU for getting yourself into this situation where you do this every night! And also for the endless trips up and down the stairs. No need of it she doesn't need endless songs and drinks you both need to sort out her bedtime routine

He needs to do it every night until the scales are even.

He'll soon learn

Haha yes @Bugbabe1970 in an ideal world I’d tuck her in and she’d go off to sleep but unfortunately that just isn’t the case, and something I’m trying to work on.

Thanks everyone. I got some bad news this afternoon and have been trying to hold it together but I just couldn’t tonight. I’ve just told DH straight from now on it’s 50/50 at bedtime, she will soon adjust.

If she doesn't want him he needs to do it more so she gets use to it.

He’s absolving himself from parenting.