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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that service in bars and restaurants is abysmal?

104 replies

ExercicenformedeZ · 28/02/2025 19:24

Since Covid, I have noticed that bar and restaurant staff seem to think that they are doing you a favour by even acknowledging you. Yet they seem to expect hefty tips! I'm so tired of it.

OP posts:
KittenPause · 02/03/2025 13:18

'Just general bad attitude, staff unable to raise a smile, glued to their phones and inattentive'

Blimey where on earth are you going @ExercicenformedeZ

I've never eaten anywhere in my life where staff are glued to their phones

Rivari · 02/03/2025 13:19

YANBU

Service is markedly bad is most places now, as is the quality of the food. I don't think they train the staff, and they seem incapable of working out what doing a good job might look like. They take forever to serve you then want to rush you out because you only get 90-120 minutes at a table. It's shit. We used to eat out weekly now we rarely go because it's so disappointing and I'm fed up of having to complain or ask to be served.

FallOfTheHouseOfUtterlyButterly · 02/03/2025 13:21

RedVelvetIcing · 02/03/2025 09:41

Some of the staff in my local restaurants have been there for decades. Not everyone sees it as a college job.

When I worked in hospitality I can’t remember more than the odd occasion customers have been rude. I honestly didn’t care and would walk off into the kitchen and have a laugh with the staff. It’s not a serious environment.

Trust me, since Covid it's gotten so much worse

BeaLola · 02/03/2025 13:23

I was in London last Friday and had a lovely bacon sandwich and coffee in the St Pancras Wetherspoons - service was prompt and they were constantly cleaning up the tables so new people could sit down and food was coming up looking so tasty that I will definitely ho there again.

Equally went to a pub for drinks yesterday and a catch up with friend and service was grudging and slapdash and drinks very expensive - wont be going back

sweeneytoddsrazor · 02/03/2025 13:41

Given that 3/4 of MN don't think 17 year olds are able to stay home alone for 1 night because there might be an emergency and they won't know how to cope, how their brains aren't developed enough to be considered adult until at least 25, why would you expect the same age group to be able to excell at work?

And whether you are an unpleasant customer or not abuse and violence is now an every day occurrence in both hospitality, and retail. I work retail (mid management) and now have to wear a body cam on every shift for safety. This tends to make you wary and suspicious of most customers unfortunately.

Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2025 13:48

I hate it when people mention minimum wage on threads like this. Lots of people are on minimum wage .Its not an excuse to be rude and surly to your customers. Your employer sets your wages . It’s also an insult to the many people who work minimum wage jobs who are lovey and provide excellent service.

Lorrymum · 02/03/2025 14:05

Worst customer service I have ever had was in a restaurant/pub in the New Forest. The staff barely acknowledge us and we ate and left.
We got into our car to drive off and the restaurant door burst open and a man flung himself at the front of our car to stop us leaving. 'You haven't paid" he yelled. We explained that we had paid his colleague and showed him our receipt. He muttered "sorry" and went back in. We were mortified at the cabaret show we had provided for the other diners and drove off as fast as we could. We were so shocked at the whole performance we couldn't believe it had happened.

OonaStubbs · 02/03/2025 14:13

Service and hospitality staff are paid a pittance.

Pay them more, make the meals and drinks cost more, and you might get better service.

Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2025 14:14

@OonaStubbs Your post doesn’t make any sense. The customers dont set the prices.

HowardTJMoon · 02/03/2025 14:22

I can't say I've noticed any worsening of service. Most places are fine, some are exceptional, some are poor. Same as it's ever been.

OonaStubbs · 02/03/2025 14:25

Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2025 14:14

@OonaStubbs Your post doesn’t make any sense. The customers dont set the prices.

Yes but people will largely go where the prices are cheaper.

Sidebeforeself · 02/03/2025 14:28

So people who can’t afford to pay more should expect crap service? Of course not.

Thunderpants88 · 02/03/2025 14:30

Flamingoknees · 28/02/2025 20:06

In my area, it's like they can't wait to get rid of you. They are also closing at 10 pm. In my youth, we did the bars, then the food, then the nightclub at 11.30 - 12 ish. Now we have to book a timed slot.

Oh my goodness the horror of kitchen staff not wanting to hang around until after 10pm in the off chance you may wish to order food.

get a grip. You clearly have no clue what it takes to run an efficient restaurant. Most places have last orders by 9.30 which if it takes 30 minutes to cook the food and hour for you to enjoy three courses can mean they are already not able to start cleaning down and putting everything away until 11pm.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 02/03/2025 14:32

Depends where you go.
Recently ate in a local restaurant where service was great. Staff were helpful but not overbearing.
Also went to a very posh bar where the service was excellent.

Have also been in a different local restaurant where staff were clueless- asked for vegan menu, got gluten-free menu. Order was partly wrong and an accidental spillage wasn't attended to.

CurbsideProphet · 02/03/2025 14:34

We ate out on Christmas day (not my first choice or preference) with extended family at an independent pub/restaurant. Booked months in advance, pre ordered etc. The service was just so poor. All of the meals came out at different times, ie 3 roast dinners came out 20mins before the others. It was quite stressful and not enjoyable at all. I appreciate restaurants are struggling for staff etc, but there was no apology/ explanation. They really didn't care.

OpenOliveCat · 02/03/2025 14:35

Europeans have always managed services better than the blushing reserved Brits. Only the big cities rival Europe for service....
Rural West Yorkshire service is painful...

CrazythenewNorm · 02/03/2025 14:38

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 01/03/2025 10:43

I haven't experienced this at all tbh. I wonder if it's in particular areas or mostly in big cities. I'm in NW England in a fairly rural area and service is fine and friendly. I don't like the sound of how service is in America tbh. It sounds OTT and cringeworthy!

Oh it is. I find in America the level of service is fake and OTT, because they need the tips to top up their salary. There are genuinely nice servers, but it is always tainted by the heavy tipping culture.
I don't blame the staff at all, they need to make a living, but it's a terrible culture. It even tells you on the menu the percentage of the meal you're expected to tip, which was around 20%, it may be more now.
We found some servers rude to us, as soon as they found out we were British, because we have a name for not tipping. One male member of staff in particular was really rude when talking to us, wondered how we could afford the "vacation", in our mid twenties, and eas just generally sarcastic and making comments under his breath about Britain.

This man served all of the American people with drinks who came in after, was all over them, topping their waters up while we were left sitting there, it wasnt busy and he made a point of ignoring us, i had to go and ask for another drink. Little did he know we were prepared to give him a good tip.
We contemplated leaving nothing, but decided on leaving one dollar to show we knew about tips, and that is what we thought about his service. We would have just walked if it hasn't been for the fact our meal had arrived. We aren't usually petty people, but his attitude was awful, and ruined our meal.

Cakeface19 · 02/03/2025 15:12

Was in London a week or two back. Excellent, and I mean excellent service in many places we went to.
High end (The Savoy) middle of road places, mid range hotels (Tower bridge Hilton) even little pubs down Fleet Street.
Borough restaurants were great, had a lot of brilliant convos with the staff serving us all over London.
Not a single issue anywhere.
Came home to north east Scotland…..great service in bars and restaurants yesterday.
We both work in hospitality and service and know how to treat those who are of service to us.
It’s bloody tiring dealing with the public, and they sure have got very arsey after Covid, which is understandable, but not to the point of abuse.
Watching drivers out and about the city yesterday, wasn’t busy, but you can see the aggression very clearly in a lot of people.

KeepYaHeadUp · 02/03/2025 15:45

I totally agree. It's the same in shops too. Massive queues, being ignored by staff, etc. I worked in retail for a long time so I get it. But something has changed post-lockdowns. It's like the bar was massively lowered and it's never returned to pre Covid levels

APATEKPHILLIPEWATCH · 02/03/2025 16:11

OonaStubbs · 02/03/2025 14:13

Service and hospitality staff are paid a pittance.

Pay them more, make the meals and drinks cost more, and you might get better service.

Some of us have better standards of life that we think people should do a good job even if they aren’t being paid as much as they’d like. Sorry you have such low standards and expectations

Boredlass · 02/03/2025 16:14

CCSA · 01/03/2025 10:46

1 word - Brexit - to thanks for this 🙄

🙄

theboffinsarecoming · 02/03/2025 16:15

KrisAkabusi · 28/02/2025 20:00

Customers have got a lot worse since covid.

This.

My dd works in the hospitality industry (front-of-house, back office, and events management), and she's said that at times she has been staggered by the appalling rudeness of customers towards serving staff.

Echobelly · 02/03/2025 16:18

To be honest, I think that any way it has got worse is just due to lack of staff. Post Brexit a lot of people working those jobs left, the pay is abysmal and usually when it's taking time it's just because there are few wait staff than 6-7+ years ago. I haven't noticed more rudeness, but just sometimes being slower because one staff member is covering a lot of tables or a busy bar.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/03/2025 16:22

BrokenWing · 01/03/2025 10:22

Ds(21) is PT hotel bar staff while working his way through uni.

He gets minimum wage, no training other than quickly shown how to use the till, they are understaffed, some of the young staff they have don't/can't pull their weight and it causes the whole team to struggle. He has an equally untrained manager who has no idea how to motivate, encourage staff or promote a customer service culture, just shouts at them randomly and puts them on unreasonable shits (such as a 11hr shift finishing at 2am and starting next day at 10am) and they don't get the breaks they should. They never get any positive feedback from their manager. He isn't too bothered about tips, because even though he sometimes gets given big ones himself they all go into the pot for lots of back of house staff too so he's lucky if he sees even a 10th of each tip.

I haven't see him in action but would not be surprised if he doesn't do service with a smile! For most of the bar staff at the hotel it is a job for some spends during uni, not a career, so there is no motivation to excel at it.

There is no career at what I'm doing, I barely get paid above living wage, yet I still manage to be professional. Particularly when you are working in hospitality, it's just professional to be giving people a nice time. That's what they are there for, after all. There is zero incentive for them to come back if they don't have the nice experience they were seeking, and if everyone decided not to come back, the staff would lose their jobs. So there's the incentive?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/03/2025 16:23

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/03/2025 16:22

There is no career at what I'm doing, I barely get paid above living wage, yet I still manage to be professional. Particularly when you are working in hospitality, it's just professional to be giving people a nice time. That's what they are there for, after all. There is zero incentive for them to come back if they don't have the nice experience they were seeking, and if everyone decided not to come back, the staff would lose their jobs. So there's the incentive?

And if the untrained manager had anything about them they could get themselves on the internet and do some free training about customer service and staff management. Or buy a second hand book on it, or get it from a library. It just makes for a miserable experience for everyone, staff as well as customers, if nobody cares how good a job they're doing.