To be feel guilty about sending DS to nursery?

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Im mainly looking for stories/experience that will help me feel better about this decision.

My DS is 1 and from next week will be starting nursery 3 days per week. I feel awful about it. The nursery and staff are lovely and he gets bored at home, so I know on the surface he will be fine, but I’m so worried about the long term impact on him and the guilt has been keeping me up all night.

Then other two days will be a mixture of his grandma and me, and I’m hoping his grandma can pick him up early from nursery once per week but the other days will be 8am - 5pm.

I don’t like the thought of childminders and anyway there aren’t in or near our village, so please don’t suggest this as an option! Nor is it financially viable for one of us to drop work hours any more than we are doing.

This will be his normal, so no need to feel guilty.

My kid has been going to nursery full time since she was one. She absolutely loves it, is busy and having fun all day and has a lovely little group of friends she talks about all the time. We still have our evenings and weekends together and she is thriving. I felt really guilty as well but honestly she is just loving it and I think learning from her peers has been so valuable. Her speech, potty training etc I'm sure was really helped by being at nursery and wanting to communicate with her friends or use the toilet like her friends. I know you feel guilty but focus on the great mix of experiences he will get going to both nursery and having time with family.

Well DS went full time before he was 1 (I'm a single parent and didn't have a choice) and had an absolute blast. Never cried - either at drop off or pick up - we have a wonderful bond (he's now 5) and has been so confident/social ever since! Transitioned very well to school when the time came, is very polite/well mannered and has a huge love of learning/asking questions about EVERYTHING which was definitely fostered at nursery as he'd come home spouting a million new facts every day. I was super nervous too but it worked out very well - he had the same few key workers all the way through who were lovely and really knew their stuff. Absolutely no regrets from me 😌

I felt the same. I really didn't think my child was ready when he went at 1. To the point I thought about giving up work.
A few months in, he's settled and loves it there.
There are perks. I appreciate the time we have together and feel I have some of my old self back. I like that he gets a more varied diet, activities etc.
Its hard at first, but it soon becomes the new norm.

No need to feel guilty, it’s not a bad or wrong thing to do.

Mine went at 14 months (delayed from 9mo due to lockdown) and it was great. I loved going back to work (went back when he was 5mo) and also having a free hour or so to prepare food, sort out the house etc knowing that DS was safe and well and having fun.

My son went at one and it's been really beneficial for him. People claim there's no benefits until they're much older than 1, but in our case I'd massively disagree. My son's walking and talking both came on leaps and bounds once he was in nursery and they do so many more fun and varied activities compared to what I can do as a SAHM in a standard house.

And anecdotally, the kids I know who started nursery at 1 have gone through a lot less pain and stress from separation anxiety than the ones who didn't go until they were 3 (or who skipped it entirely until school age).

3 days a week is a lovely compromise, it's what we do. A nice balance of time together and time learning how to interact with others independently. I appreciate the time with him more than I did on maternity leave, because I'm not worn out mentally and physically from full time care.

Feel guilty if you want to - it’s neither reasonable nor unreasonable.

Children often thrive in the secure and consistent environment that a good nursery provides and they gain valuable social
skills and the foundations on which their primary education will be built. They also often spend the first few months as coughing snot machines as they acquire every conceivable contagious disease and pass it on to all the other toddlers they can find, but it’s going to happen some time.

What do you think the long-term impact is going to be? I was a nursery kid - full time since 13 months. Three of my cousins were the same. We all bloody loved nursery and are now stable adults with professional jobs, academic careers and lovely relationships with wider family.

My son went at 17 months (but I wish he could have gone earlier) and my daughter went at 8 months. It's been great for their development. No regrets.

Both mine loves nursery. They enjoyed mixing with other children and doing activities that I wouldn’t have done at home.

What "long term impact" are you worried about?
Both mine started nursery just under 1 year and I honestly believe nursery is part of the reason for my eldest's confidence (certainly didn't get it from me!)
The youngest is now 11 and still reminices about nursery days.

He doesn’t need to go in the sense that he’s bored at home. Assuming you’re not actually at home with him all the time he’ll be fine!

But a good nursery will do no harm and will do good. My DD also goes three days a week and I got her daily diary today - she ate broccoli, that would NOT happen at home!

My boys both went aged 8 months; and they now are happy, well adjusted, intelligent and lovely teenagers. Don’t think nursery has had any impact on them other than a positive one.