DD 5 getting upset about having left artwork / projects at school

[littledd]

This past week my DD has been getting upset randomly in the evenings when she's out of nowhere remembered that she's forgotten something she was building or an art project at school..

She says a mouse is going to eat it and she gets super upset about it.

She doesn't really talk to me a lot about her school or her friends, she just shuts down when u ask her. I get the odd snippet, whenever she wants to tell me something, but other than that, I don't really know what goes on.

I know it might be silly, but she just seems so upset about it. Could it be something bigger behind this sudden upset ?

I'm just wondering if she's happy at school / has friends.. that kind to thing. The teachers say she's friends with everyone.

I'm probably totally overreacting to be fair.

I guess I just wonder what goes on with her, as I just don't know and don't see her most of the day.

She's at school from 8:30 until 5 pm.

Don't ask them! That way lies disaster, and it gets worse with age.

Create times when you are side-by-side, low stress, activities where you chat. Driving somewhere, crafts, cooking. Anything where they are to your side and not making eye contact. Leave silences, don't ask questions, make mmm-hmm noises, and move slowly.

Kids are weird with 'how was your day' questions.

That's a long day for, what I'm assuming is, a young child. Thy tend not to be that communicative about their day. As pp said, don't over question, show an interest, but otherwise let stuff come out when she's ready.

With the mouse worries, obviously just reassure her that isn't going to happen and she can bring stuff home when it's ready to come home.

Do you have a parents' evening coming up soon? If not, make an appointment to speak to her teacher to get a bit of reassurance about how she's getting on.

A teacher at my kid's school gave me the advice that instead of asking them about their day, start talking about your day - who you talked to, what you did, what you had for lunch etc. Then (in theory!) they're more likely to mirror that behaviour and tell you about theirs, than if you just give them a barrage of questions.
We also play a game every day where over dinner each family member says the best thing and worst thing that happened to them that day. It rarely brings huge insights but the idea is that it opens up space to talk about things that are bothering them in case they need to.

I'd chat to the teacher, she could possibly put her work on a high shelf or in a cupboard so it is 'safe'.

These type of fears are very common at her age, you find a practical solution and they just grow out of it.

I wouldn't read anything bigger into it unless school say there is something wrong. And I agree they don't answer the questions at this age.

Thanks. I try both of those things already.

Sometimes I get very limited feedback.

My almost 3 year old really loves telling me about his day though, it doesn't always make all that much sense, but he likes to talk about it.

My daughter has never wanted to talk about it.

Tell her to write her name on pictures because then most of them will find their way back to her.

I wouldn't probe too deeply. I'd just say things like 'the good thing is that you can build another robot tomorrow'.

Sometimes I'll have a child who is worried about 'painting a picture for my dad' or whatever it is because the dad will have asked the child to draw them something and then it sort of takes over their day.

Aw bless them, they're so sweet aren't they.

She was upset tonight because she'd made something for her baby cousin and was worried the mouse was going to get it.

I think they tell the children there is a mouse that takes stuff they leave out or something.

Parents evening was very recent- 10 minutes which goes by so fast and we only talked about reading and how to support there and tips and tricks there. 10 minutes just is not long enough! It flew by!

As a teacher myself, I’d say if you’re worried then check in with her teacher. Explain she’s becoming randomly upset and see if anything’s happened in class. It could be something as simple as someone’s mentioned a mouse takes things if they aren’t tidied away properly etc.

Keep trying to chat with your dd but I agree with others, don’t directly ask about her day, check in with her and then discuss your day, discuss plans for the rest of the evening and then as the conversation goes, ask what she played with, did she make anything nice etc, how was her lunch? That sort of thing and build up to it over time.

Theres lovely little thought journals online which you could do together, she could draw a picture of something good that happened that day, something she’s looking forward to and over time you can add in something that wasn’t good about the day and something she didn’t enjoy. Not all children enjoy talking through their day, especially if they are finding it hard to process it themselves, chatting through art or playing can help her focus on something else whilst learning to talk through her thoughts.

She's only 5 and in school from 8.30 to 5, that's a long day for a little one and I expect she's quite tired. I don't feel like chatting a lot after a long day either! Give her lots of cuddles and reassure her that her artwork will be kept safe in school. Have a word with her teacher and mention the mouse worry, it might have been a lighthearted comment that your little one has taken seriously. Ask her who she likes playing with, what her favourite game is to play, what work was the most fun thing she learned today? Chatting at teatime or while in the bath or when you cuddle up in bed for a story is best, just casually and with no pressure.