To think I should know how to paint!?

[AllyHayHay]

I was a digital designer and illustrator for many years before going into a new field. Also started working with an animal charity and this took a good few years of my time and energy.

When the urge to make art returned, I really wanted to paint. Like with actual paint, traditional media, which should have been somewhat seamless, right?

Well I'm awful. I have been trying for a few years and still don't have one single piece to speak of.

My background was in illustrator (digital) and photography, phD, working with clients from Atlantic records, Penguin, Ikea and Zara. I obviously understand design, colour, composition, etc, but just CAN'T bloody paint.

I get started with great ideas (never short of those!) but my head falls apart within minutes. Nothing makes sense, and the materials seem to work against me. I don't think it's anxiety or expectation, this has been going on for around 7 years now.
I don't really want to go back to how I used to work, I have no real passion for that, so what's the point?

So, is it silly of me to expect to be able to paint a bloody picture on canvas at this point in my life?

Book yourself some drawing and painting lessons

I am a printmaker and I never really expected to be good at painting or, drawing for that matter. Over the last 5 years I pivoted towards fabric design which I happily do both digitally and with analogue media but each new technique and media needs hours/days (years!!) to master. Give me an etching plate any day! Easy.. but then I spent 9h a day, 6 days a week for 3 years of my degree learning the craft of printmaking and about zero time working on any other skills. Skill takes practice and skill is not really transferrable between media. I can do a decent job with watercolour, semi-decent job with gouache. Anything else... nope.

I think it’s quite helpful to try and figure out what is going wrong. Is it that you can’t get the image in your head on to the paper? Is the paint not doing what you expect it to?
im guessing it’s a medium thing as you can get your digital images the way that you want them. So some training or a bit of practice will no doubt help.
Don’t give up. It’s worth more when you have to work for it, some of the joy in picking up a new skill is in the learning and improving.

When I work digitally I can do anything I like, I can blend, add, subtract, merge, etc.
When I work with paint, I am restricted to one dimension.

I have many images in my head, but when I use paint or other materials (pastels, pencils, watercolour acrylic, oil) I literally can't control it. It is like having a stroke, or losing my mind somewhat. Everything is upside down.

Go to a painting class

I'd do a class, be evening, a residential week, weekend or whatever. What I would want is a course that uses a range of media, e.g. watercolour, pastels, oils, acrylics, etc, and teaches different techniques with them all. You don't achieve the same thing with a watercolour wash as you do with stumbling pastels and so on. But learning different techniques in different media will give you more idea about how to achieve what you want to achieve.

I think if you have a sound grounding in life drawing, you will be able to do it, once you've had some practice with different media and techniques, and learnt how they work for you.

I suspect you are overthinking or you are a perfectionist - you can’t correct things on a canvas in quite the same way as you can digitally (although with oils you can to a greater extent than with acrylic or watercolour). I paint for fun - I don’t naturally have a good eye for perspective, but am good at colour and texture - you should explore and not expect to produce brilliant work from the start. I do get it - I have perfectionist tendencies and my dad was an artist, so I am always comparing myself to him and wondering why I don’t have his ease and precision. But art is about exploration and expression, not perfection.

I see my autocorrect doesn't know of scumbling...

It sounds like you are putting too much pressure on yourself. You should be able to sit in front of the paper, brush in hand, and let the process lead you where it may - rather than you lead the process. Your mind is getting in the way.

Accept you might need practice, and that is okay. Practice. Do this not with exasperation, but as a swimmer does. The same strokes, over and over, with different concentrations of water, until it becomes smooth and almost thoughtless.

My own problem is with composition. Sometimes I can't translate what I imagine to the page, but I'm getting there!

I could have written that, minus the big name clientele.
I can do pastels and pencil. Not keen on charcoal, don't much like the feeling in my hand. Paint makes me want to run away screaming. It's weird. I feel no connection with the surface, almost like the brush is in my way.
I used to make a living selling printables designed in photoshop etc. but with AI it seems pointless now. I think digital imagery has become devalued as everybody and his frigging dog just assume EVERYTHING digital was produced with a prompt and a single click. I can mostly tell the difference but if customers can't, that's a problem.

The brain of some people, is too full of options for a single image. We like to fiddle with the shapes, tweak the spines, pull them lovely little arrows, add edit points one by one, change positions and colours till an image perfectly fits out ever changing vision. Digital is flexible. Instant upgrade possible as the idea reforms and reforms again. All those lovely layers to work on. The peace of intense concentration ❤.

Paint is too immediately permanent and harder to alter when your vision changes. To put it bluntly, painting is too messy.

Painting is also too slow for me personally. I do appreciate the artistry of painters, very much so, but it's just not for me. I've watched others paint and it's enjoyable, often awe inspiring. Maybe, I'll have the bravery required to permanently mark a perfect blank canvas one day.

Did you get anywhere with your paintings? If you want to paint abstract landscapes check out Louise Fletcher on you tube. She does a free course every year too. The important thing is to play without expectation and see what comes out. The best things are discovered by experimenting. I am an acrylic painter (50% of my income) and am feeling rather stale and sick of what I paint, and confined by the medium, so I am trying to move into oils which are completely different so need to accept everything will be shit while I learn how to handle the paint, and I am also considering getting another p/t job so that I don't feel under pressure to paint to sell. Beginners mind is key.