To have no work friends or mum friends?

[Blueygirl]

I have a small group of friends ive known since school we meet up about once a month and chat regularly in a WhatsApp group, they are lovely and we all get on great and have a laugh together.
But besides them I have no other friends, I have two children, one at school and besides an occasional nod and quick hello ive no interaction with any of the other mums. My youngest and I attend a mums group, again we have a quick chat and hello with the other mums but other than that no interaction. So no meet ups no playdates no numbers exchanged.
I also work in a busy office, have been there since October but again no friends, other ones go to lunch together or coffee and people seem to have their own smaller groups within the team. Everyone is friendly and says hello etc but thats it.
Starting to feel like there's something wrong with me that I haven't made new friends despite going to all these different settings. My other friends have friend's outside of our group from work, school mums etc but for reason I just cant make new friends. Am I being unreasonable to expect to have made friends with new people since leaving school?

I've found it really hard to make friends as an adult. The only times it's worked out is because my DD got a lovely best friend at school and because of that git invited to a string of birthdays and I got inducted into the parents freund group. It did mean hanging out at the school and introducing myself etc though.

The second group was a very niche creative group (creative writing in a specific subgenre). These ladies I would say are now my friends. We've hung out together outside the hobby etc.

Other then these it's been failure after failure doing all the things people suggest. Joining groups, putting myself out there. Social media (which I hate). I'm a bit weird though so finding other weirdos has helped.

I think if you do have friends they definitely shouldn't be your colleagues - that's a whole different scenario.

You'll make some mum friends in time it'll fe fine. All you need is a couple of nice mates really, it'll happen eventually

Hard op agree. Its not you. I prob max 3 friends. People flaky. Walking group I put up a message to meet. Silence. Cant be ass now. Offices clicks so had no friends there. God its disheartening. I do school bus so few us did cinema last week.

Just reread your post actually you're doing more than alright. Nice group of established friends, job, 2 kids, - any more and you'll be spreading yourself to thin.

When it comes to friends I take quality over quantity any day.

So have you tried initiating any meet ups? That's how you build on relationships

This may be of no use, and not advice you need but it really helped me. I ask people open ended questions (how, what, where, when, why) and this sparks more conversation which eventually goes beyond surface level. I would always feel I'd come across nosy if I asked too much, or a specific thing, but it has helped so much. Then I make a mental note to ask next time I see them if something specific is mentioned. I just had my first school mum night out, so it worked for me. I just always found myself comfortable with my old friends it was tricky to cross that line with new people.

I'm 47 and never made either myself. I have enough friends but I do kind of wish I was one of those people who could. I've met up with former colleagues ocassionally, but never gone beyond that. All my adult friends have been via online or via DH

I guess with work, in the days we did come into the office, it didn't help that I for some reason tend to want to eat lunch alone. I really enjoyed occasional lunches with the team, but never really wanted 1:1 time with anyone at lunch.

Mum-friend wise I just wasn't around at the school gates very much - the mums weren't unfriendly or anything, I just never really clicked with anyone.

I'm a bit of a weirdo and don't like the kind of things most people like so it's hard for me to find common ground with a lot of people. Whenever I meet someone I like they always seem to live absolutely miles away, so you can't just casually suggest meeting for a coffee or something as it seems a bit mad to suggest travelling to the other side of London after I've met them once or twice.

You can ask questions and suggests meet ups until you’re blue in the face but it doesn’t equal making friends. It’s hard!

It can take time to make friends at work, and you've only been there since October?

Hmm I wonder how some people make friends more easily than others?

Thank you for your responses, glad im not alone!
Ive been to quite a few kids parties, everyone is friendly but just never goes anywhere, maybe I should put myself out there but just don't seem to click with anyone. Work wise people have joined after me and seem to be able to make friends and be part of the groups. It's just getting me down at the moment so appreciate the kind words