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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Horrible work colleague

5 replies

Charltonstrek · 27/02/2025 17:26

So me and couple of others are new staff in a care setting and generally everybody seems nice enough so far haven't met everybody yet but there is one staff member who is very uncomfortable to be around we are aware of a previous issue regarding a new staff which ended in a altercation and this person is apparently on a warning. One of us newbies have also seen her behaviour when attending interview with her general attitude to them. This woman hasn't specifically done anything towards us but doesn't hardly converse with us unless she has to whereas with long standing staff she chats away and banters with them etc.
She looks at us like we are nothing it's a very harsh look and it gives off horrible vibes and makes you uncomfortable.
I am working with her tomorrow just me and her how do you think I should handle her last time I was with her for something like 1 hour and if I tried to talk to her she just muttered back and otherwise sat there looking stern and when I went home I think she was glad I'd gone.
I still can't fathom her out though as couple of times previously I had to ask about something and she sort of seemed okay although I can't say what she said after to others. Just wondering if anybody has any tips

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 27/02/2025 17:27

Just communicate as you need to and be polite.

pictoosh · 27/02/2025 17:28

Yes, be polite and pleasant in greeting her and any other interactions you need to have...but otherwise exert no effort. Don't try to strike up a rapport or appeal to her...just be very nice and completely unconcerned.

Charltonstrek · 27/02/2025 17:33

Thanks for replies maybe she will become more accepting of me eventually

OP posts:
pictoosh · 27/02/2025 17:45

Point being, who cares if she does or not? She's no one you have to impress.
She's rude and unfriendly. If she's going to be a twat, let her perform.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 27/02/2025 17:53

Be polite and civil. Say as little as possible. Don't initiate chit chat, only work related comments. Be natural and don't act stiff or offended as if you are deliberately ignoring her. Keep calm and neutral. No "looks" or "expressions" in reaction to things she says.
She's a co-worker and not your friend. You don't have to try to please her. You don't want a friend like that. She makes you very uncomfortable. But focus on your job as much as possible and stop worrying about whether she likes you or not. No one cares what she thinks. I guarantee that everyone already knows she's a problem. It's good training for dealing with awkward people.

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