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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help and advice needed - Mum to autistic 6 year old boy

7 replies

Rocco3 · 27/02/2025 15:06

Hi. I’ve always known there was something going on with my son and due to how hyperactive and impulsive he is I thought it was ADHD after discussing this with school they said he has more autistic traits than ADHD and a CAMHS referral was done last year (still waiting on this). This was not a quick process and I had to bring this up many times before school took any action. Now this has been done nothing else has been discussed. I feel really helpless, is anyone aware of help for parents with autistic children and their behaviour. I have received a message from his teacher today saying yesterday he was extremely rude to her, shouted at her and stomped his feet. Which parenting styles do you use? He gets extremely upset when disciplined and cannot regulate emotions but then once all over and done with it’s like he’s forgotten what we discussed and he goes right back to the bad behaviour. On the other hand he’s the most loving and caring little boy and loves to look after his school friends and his baby sister. Rather than getting messages from the teachers telling me how bad he has been a bit of support would be nice too. Any help would be appreciated.

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NoisyHam · 27/02/2025 15:14

I'm not sure why the teacher is telling you this, did she give any context?

EmmaOvary · 27/02/2025 15:15

Following

NoisyHam · 27/02/2025 15:17

I'm sorry to say but expect CAHMS to be completely useless. Once diagnosed ASD that's it, no further support. Although do go for the assessments, it might help later. Best to work with the school on this.
I agree it's not very helpful the tecaher just quoting his reaction, it must have been to something.

Rocco3 · 27/02/2025 18:33

I have spoken to him about it after school and he said he had a bad morning. Got cross and the teacher would not listen to him and he reacted. I have contacted the SENCO at school to ask for help and they have said they will speak to the ASET team? Working with the school is hard because in all honesty they feel pretty useless in this area. The school is very small only 10 children in my little boys class. It took him to be referred to a school nurse for her to tell them a referral is needed as they just kept saying they would discuss further once he turned 6.

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Trinity69 · 27/02/2025 18:37

Am I reading correctly that he isn’t actually diagnosed yet?
School should be putting support in place for him now, as if he is diagnosed. Autism is a funny beast as it varies so widely from person to person and finding out what support he needs will take time and trial and error.
My son is AuDHD with a PDA profile and has been incredibly hard work for most of his life.
mid recommend doing a google and read. Absorb as much information as you can.

Rocco3 · 27/02/2025 18:40

Yes that’s right he has not been diagnosed yet. The only thing in place is a sticker reward chart and he has fidgets to play with. That’s it. Because of his behaviour yesterday he lost some reward points and had his name moved to red so missed some play time. Google is my best friend at the minute but your right there’s such a wide range and finding out what works best for him and what help he needs is hard.

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Rocco3 · 27/02/2025 18:41

That’s the only thing in place at school if I wasn’t clear. My son has also been very hard work especially since he turned 2.

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