Split nights… 14 month old sleep hell

[FineWhinesGoodtimes]

I am at my witts end.

dd (14 months) has always been a bad sleeper. She has never slept through. Ever. She wakes roughly every 1-2.5 hours and has done since she was a tiny baby. We went through the 12 month sleep regression which nearly broke me as she was waking hourly, and eventually came out of that into split nights. She is now not only waking every hour or so, but she’s awake from 3am - 5am (I get up at 6). My 3 year old is also going through a phase where it’s taking over an hour to get her to sleep (previously was a dream at bedtime) she’s she’s also arguing with me over absolutely everything too. So I am getting it from them both.

DH is brilliant but works really long hours and is in a medical field so really needs his sleep. He does sort the kids when he’s home so I can catch up on sleep and does all the can but he’s out of the house a lot at the moment.

obviously I love my children dearly, but I am also at my breaking point and the stress/lack of sleep is triggering severe migraines (they make me vomit).

i have tried adjusting nap times, comforters, I have cuddled, rocked patted and “shhhhh’d” and still nothing. I know I have to just push through but please tell me it gets easier

Dh was in hospital recently very seriously unwell and I’m that tired i actually wished it was me in hospital just so I could sleep in interrupted

please tell me it gets better

Don't forget sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason; it breaks you.

I really feel for you. I may get utterly slated for this but I will say it anyway. This is a habit that has formed, child wakes up and Mummy comes to comfort and sooth. Stop. Sleeping, like eating or breastfeeding is a learned skill for some children so teach her. If she wakes up crying stoke her head but do nothing else. Temporarily move your materess into her room if you have to to reach through the bars so comfort her but don’t lift her.

carve out a week in the diary, annual leave if you need to. Know it will be a week of hell accept that’s and be a united team.

a 14 month old child should be sleeping through the night and can.

your mental health is extremely important too. Women put it on the banc burner because society says new shoul. Stops! You cannot point from an empty jug.

you got this. And it will get better x

Hi, I am so sorry you're having a tough time. Sleep deprivation is truly awful. I can commiserate - my third child is now 19 months and only began occasionally sleeping through the night around 16 months. He's now doing much better and sleeps through about 50% of the time. I hope that gives you some hope that more sleep may be close by. I too have struggled immensely with the exhaustion of broken/non existent sleep over a prolonged period and am now on medication for severe migraines which began 2 months post partum - due to exhaustion. I have much empathy for you!! It does get better. Hugs 🫂

Gosh that sounds very hard.
Could you contact a sleep consultant to help guide you on how to adjust her schedule and sleep routine? Usually they offer a free initial call so they can work out the issues and you can see if you’d want their help without paying anything or committing to a method you don’t agree with. Sometimes getting an outside perspective on it can be really useful.
We worked with one for our son and she basically helped us to change our routine so that he wasn’t relying on us to help him get to sleep. It wasn’t leaving him to cry etc, it was just having someone guide us in how to respond differently and change routines. He’s slept through the night ever since.

It does get better. All 3 of mine have been split night sleepers and all 3 of them naturally grew out of it.

number 3 didn’t reliably sleep through the night until he was in year 1 of primary school though.

it was hell on earth - you have my complete sympathy.

I feel you! This was me a few months ago. What time does your child go to bed? I ask because when I read up on it, it said something about sleep energy and if they haven't built enough up they will wake and need to build more to go back to sleep. I started putting my son to bed an hour later and it really helped him stay asleep through the night.

@FineWhinesGoodtimes hello, how are you getting on with this? I’m currently in the thick of it hence my 2am post. My 14 month old son has been having split nights for at least 6 weeks, it’s so difficult. He’s up for 2-4 hours a night from 11/12pm. We’ve tried everything. Just hoping for any advice really as I’m feeling low.

You’re not the first mum to have a hospital fantasy! Can you occasionally hire a night nanny

Have you tried moving bedtime back? Split nights are often a sign of not enough sleep pressure so when they wake up they need to have a couple of hours awake to rebuild that sleep pressure to make it through the rest of the night

@toastofthetownthank you - I am considering maybe trying at 8pm bedtime tonight as opposed to 7pm. I also have a 3 year old - was always a good sleeper. I thought I had this “sleep training” thing in the bag but it honestly really depends on the child! 🙏🏻