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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel sad that my 10-year-old prefers coffee over our family tea time?

106 replies

LoveMyLittleOnes · 27/02/2025 03:56

Hi everyone, I could use some advice here. My little one is 10 now, and has recently taken a liking to coffee. Our family has always been more into tea, and he used to love joining us for tea time, enjoying the cuppa we made for him. Now, he makes his own coffee and doesn’t join us for tea anymore. Sometimes, I want to relive or share those tea moments with him, but he seems a bit resistan. Part of me wants to barge in and demand he join us for a proper brew, but another part’s screaming “He’s 10 going on 16 – let him live!”

Am I being a clingy wally clinging to the Tea time days? Or should I nip this flat white nonsense in the bud before he starts charging us rent for using the kettle? 😂"

OP posts:
Itsseweasy · 27/02/2025 05:51

My first inclination is to wonder why you’d be so controlling as to tell him which drink he should be preferring to drink?
But my overriding concern is that he has been encouraged to regularly drink tea at his age!
A second on Google tells you all you need to know: “There is no accepted safe amount of caffeine for kids under the age of 12. When deciding whether to give a child tea that contains caffeine, experts recommend being cautious”

Hoglet70 · 27/02/2025 05:56

Considering little kids have been wandering around drinking cold tea in their bottles since time began (I know, it's revolting but it happens - probably not in Mumsnet circles though haha) I can't understand why people are so aghast at anyone under 25 having caffeine! I'm more shocked that the OP is so prescriptive about what drinks everyone has than that the kids are getting a drink with caffeine in it. Should ten year olds also not be allowed Coke then? Oh, this is Mumsnet so probably not.

ThejoyofNC · 27/02/2025 05:58

How juvenile. My 7 year old likes whiskey and a cigar.

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 27/02/2025 05:59

LoveMyLittleOnes · 27/02/2025 03:56

Hi everyone, I could use some advice here. My little one is 10 now, and has recently taken a liking to coffee. Our family has always been more into tea, and he used to love joining us for tea time, enjoying the cuppa we made for him. Now, he makes his own coffee and doesn’t join us for tea anymore. Sometimes, I want to relive or share those tea moments with him, but he seems a bit resistan. Part of me wants to barge in and demand he join us for a proper brew, but another part’s screaming “He’s 10 going on 16 – let him live!”

Am I being a clingy wally clinging to the Tea time days? Or should I nip this flat white nonsense in the bud before he starts charging us rent for using the kettle? 😂"

Your son has taste! He's a mini sophisticate and should be encouraged.
Tea drinkers on the other hand....
I jest, I am a Northerner who hates tea! My family are virtually NC as a consequence, they think I am bonkers.
But your son and I know how the world works...
😀

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 27/02/2025 06:00

Littlebrownfreckle · 27/02/2025 04:00

A 10 year old shouldn’t be drinking coffee. He’s too young for that level of caffeine.

does he actually like coffee or is he adding sugar to it?

🤣🤣

Addictedtowotsits · 27/02/2025 06:00

I knew this thread would get filled with the crazies! A small cup of coffee verse a diet coke or a cup of tea is fine

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 27/02/2025 06:02

Eastie77Returns · 27/02/2025 04:02

A 10 year old should not be drinking coffee. The medical guidance on this is quite clear.

Oh yes? Please provide a copy.
I've been drinking coffee since I was 5. Most French kids drink coffee from childhood.
Get the facts straight before trying to weaponise them

ItShouldntHappenToMeYet · 27/02/2025 06:08

Itsseweasy · 27/02/2025 05:51

My first inclination is to wonder why you’d be so controlling as to tell him which drink he should be preferring to drink?
But my overriding concern is that he has been encouraged to regularly drink tea at his age!
A second on Google tells you all you need to know: “There is no accepted safe amount of caffeine for kids under the age of 12. When deciding whether to give a child tea that contains caffeine, experts recommend being cautious”

Try reading some proper, peer-reviewd articles/research studies, not justca quick google. All the latter does is throw up hysterical stats from non-research organisations.
The former will give people the correct advice based on actual research
Gosh, MN kids lead boring lives

BCBird · 27/02/2025 06:11

10 y old drinking coffee- no. Energy drinks with packed lunch?

EverybodyLovesString · 27/02/2025 06:14

From the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry: "There is no proven safe dose of caffeine for children. Product regulations are based on practices dating as far back as the 1940’s. At this time, pediatricians advise against caffeine for children under 12 and against any use of energy drinks for all children and teens. They also suggest limiting caffeine to at most 100 mg (about two 12 oz cans of cola) daily for those 12-18 years old."

https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Caffeine_and_Children-131.aspx

0ohLarLar · 27/02/2025 06:14

There's nothing wrong with decaf coffee or tea, its better than him drinking sugar laden hot chocolate.

I was around 10 when i discovered fresh coffee and loved it. Its not that unusual for a child to like it.

TroysMammy · 27/02/2025 06:15

Imagine my shock when travelling first class on the the train the other day that I found out my teenage niece drinks tea! She's never given any indication that she drinks it. As a tea drinker, once the shock had passed, I was delighted but I very much doubt she will make me a cup in the future.

rainache · 27/02/2025 06:15

Are you saying he chooses a cup of Coffee over dinner time with Family? At 10yrs old? Confused 10 isn't going on 16, he shouldn't be drinking caffeine and you as his Parent need to reinforce proper meal times! By all means he could have a Coffee (Decaf!) after his Meal but no way instead of.

readingismycardio · 27/02/2025 06:18

ThejoyofNC · 27/02/2025 05:58

How juvenile. My 7 year old likes whiskey and a cigar.

So does my 1 year old!Grin

ChicaWowWow · 27/02/2025 06:19

Addictedtowotsits · 27/02/2025 06:00

I knew this thread would get filled with the crazies! A small cup of coffee verse a diet coke or a cup of tea is fine

A diet coke is even worse for kids! Aspartam is a major carcinogen and it also has caffeine. I agree it's not the end of the world for a 10 year old to drink coffee, but I'd personally not allow it to be a regular thing at this age. So unnecessary! Since when do kids need more energy ffs 🤣🤣🤣

Buffypaws · 27/02/2025 06:20

If you want to bond take him with you when you go for a fag

Tryingtokeepgoing · 27/02/2025 06:24

Tea is an insipid, pointless drink so I’m not surprised he prefers coffee! I was mid 40s before I’d even consider having a cup of tea. Nowadays I’ll have the occasional lapsang souchong, early grey, camomile or mint tea. But I’d rather just have water than a regular english breakfast tea.

Given 4 or 6 squares normal dark chocolate have as much caffeine as a cup of tea, and half as much as coffee, I hope people are as focussed on chocolate consumption as coffee in the caffeine-control stakes ;)

ChicaWowWow · 27/02/2025 06:25

0ohLarLar · 27/02/2025 06:14

There's nothing wrong with decaf coffee or tea, its better than him drinking sugar laden hot chocolate.

I was around 10 when i discovered fresh coffee and loved it. Its not that unusual for a child to like it.

Actually, the chemicals involved to make tea or coffee decaffeinated are pretty bad for you.

ChicaWowWow · 27/02/2025 06:27

Tryingtokeepgoing · 27/02/2025 06:24

Tea is an insipid, pointless drink so I’m not surprised he prefers coffee! I was mid 40s before I’d even consider having a cup of tea. Nowadays I’ll have the occasional lapsang souchong, early grey, camomile or mint tea. But I’d rather just have water than a regular english breakfast tea.

Given 4 or 6 squares normal dark chocolate have as much caffeine as a cup of tea, and half as much as coffee, I hope people are as focussed on chocolate consumption as coffee in the caffeine-control stakes ;)

Yep, I wouldn't give kids daily chocolate either.

DeffoNeedANameChange · 27/02/2025 06:29

Since when does anyone call a cup of tea "tea time"?

Mumtobabyhavoc · 27/02/2025 06:31

I feel compelled to post info warning against caffeine consumption in children, however it's important to note that chai is served in Indian homes to children without a second thought about caffeine. Different cultures have different ways. 🤷‍♀️

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/is-caffeine-bad-for-kids

Lambington · 27/02/2025 06:33

Are you the March Hare?

Startinganew32 · 27/02/2025 06:33

I suspect this post is a wind-up but if true, why do you care if he drinks coffee rather than tea? Why can’t he join you for tea time but have a coffee instead?
I do think it’s odd that a 10 year old is having coffee. I can’t remember when I first regularly drank caffeinated tea but I think I was pretty old - late teens. I did sometimes have herbal tea but I wasn’t a hot drinks person. I do know lots of younger people are though. I’m trying to remember if my school cafeteria sold tea or coffee but I can’t recall.

LovelyLeitrim · 27/02/2025 06:33

@LoveMyLittleOnes drinking coffee at age 10, is the gateway to drugs!

Stop it now! 🙄

DaphneduMaureen · 27/02/2025 06:39

What does the bit about charging rent for the kettle mean?