Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Invasion of privacy?

36 replies

Northernsoul72 · 26/02/2025 22:13

Today while I was at work my daughter who is nearly 19 went on to my PC and scrolled through my private WhatsApp messages to gather evidence that I talk about her to my friends. We are not having a particularly easy time of it with her at the moment so yes she did find some messages where I am letting off steam to my oldest friend and reading that can't have been pleasant. However I am absolutely furious at this invasion of privacy, but you can't really give consequences to an adult can you

OP posts:

xsquared · 27/02/2025 00:45

shellyleppard · 26/02/2025 22:19

Improve your password safety??

It's not a security issue, it's the breach of trust.

Gogogo12345 · 27/02/2025 03:21

BigSilly · 26/02/2025 23:14

What? You are complain about your lack of privacy when you are sending messages about her to your friends!
I would not dream of disrespecting my children, especially adult children like this!

Do you never moan about your husband to friends either?

whynot2025 · 27/02/2025 03:30

I cannot imagine this at all, this level of toxic behaviour, slyness, shouting about your kid behind her back and then her checking up on you. It all sounds super weird and over dramatic.

She should move out and after that if the two of you are still behaving like dickheads to one another, get some family therapy.

Penguinmouse · 27/02/2025 04:59

Why are you trying to speak to her when she’s the one that has done something incredibly rude? You say you can’t give consequences to an adult - maybe it’s time for her to move out.

alwaysdeleteyourcookies · 27/02/2025 05:10

Bornnotbourne · 26/02/2025 22:47

Why are you trying to speak to her? She’s the one in the wrong here, I’d echo the other responses that if she doesn’t like it she can move out.

Agree. She'd be finding somewhere else to live.

Miaowzabella · 27/02/2025 05:26

What is she going to do with this 'evidence'? Talking to your friends about your children is not a crime or a civil wrong-unless you have said something which is actually defamatory. And yes, you can give consequences, up to and including not having her in the house any more.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 27/02/2025 05:33

As my DM would say "eavesdroppers never hear any good of themselves" what on earth did she expect to find ?

Silly girl, I was taught never to open other peoples post ( that is how old I am) terrible breach of privacy. Is she very immature ?

Elsvieta · 27/02/2025 06:41

Northernsoul72 · 26/02/2025 22:26

Thank you. I honestly didn't think I needed to have intense security in my own home. I was a bit embarrassed to say in my first message but I did say I am this close to asking you to leave this house forever. I did swear to. I am just glad others see it as bad as I do. She currently won't talk to me, but I will try again in the morning

Maybe cutting off the WiFi for a bit will get her talking? Then tell her she can have the new password when she decides to be civil, as well as telling you she understands your house rules and nothing like this will happen again.

shellyleppard · 27/02/2025 07:02

@xsquared maybe its both??? I would be very unhappy if someone could read my personal messages.....so I would update my security so it couldn't happen again

xsquared · 27/02/2025 07:13

shellyleppard · 27/02/2025 07:02

@xsquared maybe its both??? I would be very unhappy if someone could read my personal messages.....so I would update my security so it couldn't happen again

That is what someone does after the event but the op was not at fault because her dd accessed her device without her consent.

The dd is old enough to understand respecting other people privacy and property.

shellyleppard · 27/02/2025 07:18

@xsquared agree completely.... The daughter shouldn't have done this. However the security must have been easy to open the computer in the first place??

Flip

1 2