Can’t believe I’m posting yet another thread about my ex.
When we split up my ex paid maintenance every week. He wasn’t always reliable with it but I usually got something. He used to have the children irregularly, every 3rd weekend if that. He wouldn’t have any clothes at his place so I supplied them. Now things are different. He went self employed about 18 months ago and gets out of paying child maintenance that way. Sometimes he does pay something but it’s not regular or consistent. He does have the children more regularly, every other weekend plus 1/3 of the holidays. About a year ago he said he’d start keeping clothes at his place because it was too much of a faff. I gave him some of the children’s old clothes that were close to being outgrown so he wouldn’t have to buy 2 whole new wardrobes straight away. But I was very clear he’d have to replace them when required.
So that’s some backstory so the rest of this post makes sense. My ds2 had an extra curricular on tonight so after I dropped him off I took my ds1 to Tesco to do a bit of shopping. When we were there ds1 asked if we could go shopping for clothes. He said (unprompted by me) “I need some clothes for daddy’s flat, can we get some? All of my clothes there have holes in or don’t fit me anymore”.
As it happened we ran out of time as I had to collect ds2 so we didn’t get a chance to go to the clothes section anyway. I asked ds1 if his dad knew the clothes needed replacing, he said he did know.
This weekend is ex’s weekend to have the children. I feel so sad that ds1 will be wearing clothes with holes in the whole time. How is this acceptable?? I spoke to my mum and she offered to get him some trousers. My mum is financially comfortable but ffs she’s 80 and on a pension. My ex is angry with me because I keep asking when he is going to get the boys their own beds - they are still sharing a double bed and I really feel they need their own beds now. Since I raised this he ignores all my communications, texts, emails etc about anything just get ignored. I bought him out of the house around 18 months ago, got a financial order, etc - he got 100k out of the deal. My solicitor said this was very generous but I wanted him to have a suitable property. I don't know how much he has left of this but he is still in the same rented flat so he hasn't spent it on a property yet.
I just feel if me or mum get some clothes then my ex will forever more expect this? AIBU? I feel so guilty now and doubting myself.