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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Interview question

34 replies

blowingbubbles1 · 26/02/2025 18:00

Today I had a second interview for a job that I am more than (if not, over qualified for). It is a part time role and not very well paid but the hours work for me with my ds. Todays interview involved meeting the CEO along with another member of the team during the interview I was a little thrown when the CEO asked me how I would handle school holidays as I have a child and how do my mornings work (childcare wise). AIBU to think this would never have come up as a question if I were a man. I should probably mention I am a single parent and I did mention this in my first interview. Maybe I am being unreasonable and this I just a normal question so please feel free to tell me I'm being silly!

OP posts:
Kbroughton · 27/02/2025 13:59

It is not illegal to ask. It may be discriminatory if they did not ask everyone. It is illegal to make decisions based on the answer. in reality though how you would prove all that I dont know. What I would say is that I would NEVER ask that question as it is none of the companies business, man or woman. As long as you know the working pattern it is up to you how you handle it, and in reality I doubt they would have asked a man. i would not be working for a company that asked that question at interview as it indicates what they are like culturally, but you may not have that luxury. i would be withdrawing and I would be clear about why but then i am an HR Director and sadly may be easier for me to do that.

Cosyblankets · 27/02/2025 14:01

Brefugee · 27/02/2025 13:40

ah you sweet summer child.

I was at a panel interview once. 9 candidates, 9 people of various seniority from the company. I was the only woman. I had 2 DC and my DH was going to take paternity leave as soon as i got a job. All this made clear in my application.

Other people there included 3 men (I know because we chatted during a coffee break, and one mentioned it to the panel) with children of similar age. And how many times do you think any of them were asked about that? Every 2nd question that came my way, despite me telling the first one my DH was taking over, was about my childcare arrangements and what I'd do if one got sick.

After about 90 minutes of this i just stood up and told them they were wasting my time with their sexist and illegal questions and left them spluttering in my wake.

Good luck OP. It still goes on.

Show quote history

Why did you feel the need to mention it in your application?
In all my working life i never felt the need to disclose whether or not i had children

ItGhoul · 27/02/2025 17:06

blowingbubbles1 · 26/02/2025 19:15

Ok so should I be hiding the fact that I have a child from now on? I have worked since my ds was a baby and never take sick leave, I'm never late and childcare has never been an issue for me. I wouldn't apply for a role if I didn't feel I could put my all into it but I also don't see what my childcare situation has to do with any employer as long as I am capable and reliable.

You don't need to 'hide' it but I certainly wouldn't proactively bring it up. Your home life isn't what a job interview is about.

Brefugee · 27/02/2025 17:09

Cosyblankets · 27/02/2025 14:01

Why did you feel the need to mention it in your application?
In all my working life i never felt the need to disclose whether or not i had children

Show quote history

Because I'm in Germany and I had been fired for being pregnant even though it's illegal.

30 years ago German employers were even more sexist 5han they are now so I wanted to head them off at the pass. I'd already decided that I didn't want to work there anyway

ItGhoul · 27/02/2025 17:13

HaggardyOldSkin · 26/02/2025 18:31

I have actually put in job covering letters that my children are of an age where I don’t need to worry about school holidays and drop offs now as I know they are not supposed to ask but I do think it gives an advantage as it makes life easier for the employer.

If you mentioned that in your cover letter applying for a job in my team, the HR team would have to redact the information before I even saw your application, so it certainly wouldn't make things any easier for the employer.

Plus, as a recruiting manager I really don't want to know what caring responsibilities you have when I interview you. I want to offer the job to the most able candidate regardless of their personal circumstances; I'm not going to discriminate on the basis of who has caring responsibilities or not. If someone who is the single parent of a four-year-old and they give the best interview, I'm not going to pick someone else over them just because their kids are older or they have a partner to share childcare with. I wouldn't ever want caring responsibilities to disadvantage anyone I interview.

FeathersMcFeather · 27/02/2025 17:28

You're not supposed to hide the fact you have children, no. But what's the relevance in a job interview? And you brought it up first

littleteapot86 · 27/02/2025 17:33

I'm not surprised you're angry. In fact I'm really glad you're angry because I am so angry for you!!! I work in the NHS and the interview questions are always standardised and this type of question would never be asked (not in my department anyway). I'd be giving the job a hard pass if they offer you it. I hope they do offer you it and you tell them to f**k off and let them know why.

BobbyBiscuits · 27/02/2025 17:37

They're not allowed to ask stuff like that. 'how would you handle the school holidays'.
You should reply with 'the same way you do presumably?'
Or 'well, I haven't attended school for twenty four years so I don't see the relevance of the question.'
He sounds a sexist bumhole.

IsitaHatOrACat · 27/02/2025 18:33

I go to great lengths in job interviews to not mention my child and that I'm a lone parent. I shouldn't have to but I know discrimination happens so I'm not going to give anyone the opportunity to us this against me.

Questions about your interests, hobbies, how you like to spend your time outside can all be used to find out this information so I am as vague as possible. E.g. watching my child's sports team becomes: I enjoy spending time outdoors and time with family and friends. If necessary to elaborate I am vague about walking and visiting local attractions (not mentioning any child focused ones)

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