To think this did need corrected with new Dr

[ARichtGoodDram]

Our Dds care recently had to move from one hospital to another and she's due to have a major operation at the new hospital at the next few months.

The reason we had to move her is that the only person at the old hospital who could do it is a surgeon who made a major mistake (through carelessness) in a previous situation. This isn't hearsay or anything - he admitted it and was suspended over it. It did permanent damage to DD (who already has a life limiting condition) which compensation was given for.

Since that incident her care was overseen by a different person, but they have left. Hence needing to move.

I discovered that in one of the referrals it stated that the reason for us "demanding" the move was that I had a "personality clash" with that surgeon.

WIBU to make it known, very politely, to the new team the exact reasons we moved. It turned out they were mostly aware of why anyway.

DH thinks I'm going to be seen as difficult now, but I think it was a bigger risk of them thinking I was a nightmare when it seemed to suggest I demanded a move to a hospital 100 miles away just because I didn't like someone!

Is it public knowledge that the previous surgeon was suspended? Presumably that information is in the public domain. I think it’s reasonable for you to want to set the record straight, because it would be unfair for you to be regarded as a troublemaker, when the opposite is the case.

As you say, you’ll address it politely, so I don’t see why you shouldn’t.

I think I would do more than making it knowN.

I would also file a formal complaint with the previous hospital.

Not unreasonable. Sorry to hear that happened to your DD.
I would ask for the record to be changed to say that you changed care due to the surgeon’s negligence.

It is public knowledge yes.

I was super polite about it and didn't cause any drama.

DH just feels even mentioning it made drama as they were mostly aware of it anyway.

YANBU.

Doctors and medical professionals have an incredibly hard job, but they are not Gods and the level of deference given to them needs to fade out.

We need to advocate for ourselves and those under our care that are vulnerable. If we stay silent then things DO get missed and dismissed.

I think suing them is a formal complaint isn't it?

Tbh I don't have the headspace to deal with them any further.

The only reason we stayed there is because the rest of the team involved in her care, including the person who took over overseeing her care, were amazing.

The management and organisation of the hospital is a shambles and you're as well throwing a cup full of water onto a full on blaze as you are complaining about anything.

There was genuine surprise from some of them when we didn't go straight back under his care for DD as "his suspension is finished now"

I assumed a formal complaint about how the referral was worded.

I think suing them is a formal complaint isn't it?

I assumed they meant a formal complaint about the false reason in the referral.

I don’t mean about the sad life changing damage.

I mean another complaint in relation to the lie that the change of doctors is in because of a “personality clash” ie the parents fault rather than the hospital admitting they permanently damaged her child.

Absolute cheek.

Makes more sense. Then yes I agree. Trying to blot copybooks like that is pretty outrageous.

Usually I'd say don't waste the energy as major stuff is going on. But sometimes you have to for other families that might encounter an attitude like that.

Honestly, they won’t particularly care why, and probably already know, but I’m inclined agree with DH. If you bring more attention to it it sounds like a case of ‘the lady doth protest too much, methinks’. They’re busy people, they don’t want to spend several minutes of your consultation discussing a non issue when they want to get on to the actual reason for being there.

It took literally less than 30 seconds to bring up, not a few minutes.

We were discussing distance and how long it would take to get there if they had a late cancellation (we've done that a couple of times at previous hospital) and the extra difficulty clinics and the likes would be for us.

I just gave them the time it would take to collect DD from school and get there. I acknowledged it would be more difficult, but that as X was leaving and DD was the child involved in the case of Y's suspension it wouldn't be appropriate for her to return to his care so the swap was necessary and the extra travel was just one of those things we'd have to deal with.

Why would it have to be part of a consultation? Surely it's better dealt with by a letter from OP. Given that the negligence and resulting injury are all on the record, I can't see any reason why OP shouldn't correct this misinformation, which is really quite serious.

If you’ve actually said this, then I don’t think there’s any need to say it again.

I don't think she is talking about saying it again, the husband thinks she shouldn't have said it at all.

I absolutely would have done the same OP, and think you did so very reasonably.

If you’ve actually said this, then I don’t think there’s any need to say it again.

I've no plans to say it again.

It's a debate between DH and I over if it needed said at all.

The new hospitals focus will be on dd’s care. I doubt they’ll have paid much attention to the reasons stated in the letter, particularly when the suspension of the previous dr is well known.
It’s one of those situations where you don’t really need to make a point of saying anything.

Oh I’m sorry, I misunderstood your post.
Then yes, I think you were right to make it clear why you moved