For just wanting to plan a wedding without interferance

[smurfgirl]

I probably am but bare with me.

The wedding is FIVE months away, I have organised a lot of it, but due to finishing degree/job hunting/mental breakdown/life happening have not really done much recently and as its so far away I figured people did not need to know everything about it right now, but apparently they do.

This week I have had

• pregnant mate whinging at me, because when she asked about drinks at the wedding I explained we have pink fizz/wine and then juice and water for those who don't drink, she claimed I was disriminatining and should provide 'posh' non-alcholic drinks for non drinkers instead of just juice, I offered to give her the money for a J20

• DF's parents ranting at me on the phone because the £50 hotel DP is staying in the night before is not quite cheap enough and is not in the location they want (its near the church not the reception)

• two mates ringing demanding lifts from church to reception

• DF's brother who is getting married 8 weeks before us laughing at all our choices saying they were pretentious (so what? and its in teesside, you can only be so pretentious in teesside)

• three mates ringing asking to stay if they could stay at my mums the night before. Um no.

• auntie ringing 2x a week asking what her 4 yr old daughter will be wearing on her feet (how many times can i say I don't care you pick what fits her and i will pay)

• oh and bridesmaid texting to ask if i am paying for her underwear as she needs a new bra, frankly i think the dress/shoes/makeup/hair/flowers/jewellery paid for is enough

God I don't even want it to come now, I just want to think about the nice things I have picked and not have anything to do with friends/family interfering! I can see the appeal of just me and him on a beach now.

The next person who rings and whinges, tell them that you are going to get married a week on saturday because everybody is ringing up and moaning at you, which (shocked voice is needed at this point) has suprised you as you thought it was your wedding!

Message withdrawn

Well, I can appreciate it's all pretty annoying, but on the other hand, you chose to have the big wedding and now people are getting excited and planning ahead. Remember, tedious though it may be, it's your wedding they're planning their lives around.

DF's brother on the other hand can bugger off.

You poor thing, I don't envy you at all and you'll understand why we buggered off abroad. A lot of them do seem to be cheeky feckers though,

Hope you have a lovely day, and YANBU.
I just had to post as I live nearby, where are you having the reception? (assuming you don;t go with the beach plan )

No help I am afraid but just wanted to say that I feel for you! YANBU.
I expect it will all be lovely on the day.

We are marrying in Yarm [ponce] and reception s at Headlam Hall nr. Darlington.

ooh we looked at Headlam Hall I think - is that the one near Piercebridge? We decided that it was almost bound to snow and so people wouldn't get to it, so went somewhere else (we were right )
My BIL and SIL are getting married in Yarm in August...hang on, you're not my SIL are you?

Hahaha no I am not. Unless you live in Sheffield!!

Yes it is in the middle of nowhere but hopefully will be ok in October.

Where did you pick in the end then? We looked everywhere?

Yes, I think October will be fine, we were married in Feb. We had our reception in Judges (10 mins off A19) and actually it was still a bit worrying as whether people could make it!
I was born in Sheffield, but no, it would seem I am not you SIL-to-be!

Judges v.nice (i am from Yarm) v.similar to Headlam actually, still have moments where I wish we had picked Judges because its so convinient - you can walk there from my parents house! But Headlam had that something extra for us.

sounds like you made the right decision then - if it impressed you enough to counter the convenience

smurfgirl, feel for you, some of my rellies were rather demanding

must admit that at least you are in control not your mil or mum though!

df bro very tactless, i would get someone to have a word. he won;t mind swilling your booze will he, whilst laughing at your choices?

its your wedding, do what you want, it will only niggle afterwards.

have a great day

you've probably already sorted cars but if not we used Durham wedding cars,. they were fantastic

I am shocked people are behaving like this. Is this normal?!!

I stayed at Headlam Hall once on a conference....tis lovely. The food was really good and the breakfast spread was out of this world

Have a lovely day, and try not to stress out about it. I thinks it's a case of fingers in ears and "la la la....I'm not listening"

Your friends are being rather stupid imho (posh soft drinks indeed....but you can tell her that it is part of the standard package and you can't change it if you feel you need to say anything), and as for the bridesmaid asking you to buy her undies, I'm at that. tell her to come commando if she hasn't anything that goes with the dress

relatives, unfortunately, have to be put up with in these things!

lol lapin at pregzilla.....

...but I like the idea of inviting mumsnet instead

Ahhhhhh.....memories......!!! We had the same - in March I had 'old school friends' ringin up and asking if they were invited to my December wedding - er no as I saw them approx once a year in the pub if I was lucky. We decided that it wasn't going to get any better so cancelled it and married in the August instead with 'immediate family only'. 18 people at the wedding - 13 years later it was still a good decision!

...and they wonder why so many people elope. If I had my time again I would, not a word to anyone (well, maybe DH )

Weddings to turn sane, sensible people into raving loons. Used to work in weddings...seen it all too many times.

Hope you enjoy your day xxxx

I think that it is much better to only have a short planning time-having a year or more of it would drive me crazy! I got married in December and started planning it 3 months before. It was a white, church wedding with one bridesmaid, the weather was fantastic (but cold)and we had a lovely reception in a waterside hotel. It didn't need longer, )except I suppose that things might have been booked if we had chosen a more popular month). There was no time for everyone to put in complications!

we are getting married abroad for this reason! i started to organise a relatively small wedding before we decided to go abroad, and couldn't believe how stressful it was! who gives a damn what colour the bridesmaids shoes are??? who cares about all the other shit - all that matters is that you are getting nmarried and it's all about you two! everyone else can bugger off.

IME, people can be so shallow about weddings

Good luck

I am so glad I had none of this!! I got engaged in July, marrued in teh november 4 months one day later!! The only issues were my SIL being pissed off her daughter was not the only briademaid!! Originally she was the only little b'maid, but DH brother and 2 dd's decided to come over from Australia for the wedding, so I had to ask those neices to be b'maids as well. My SIL went mad!!! - I did ask her whoses wedding it was

Secondly we invited all dh's old friends and one called up his best man to ask him to ask mty parents if he could bring his new g'friend !! Worst of it was the frind was the best mans client and so felt really stuck (BTW we said NO, my mum was insulted, AND he wa sthe ONLY person not to give us a wedding pressent!! ) Yes I still remember this 11 year s on!!!

YANBU

You can't stop GUESTZILLAS from behaving badly, but you can control how you react to them. From now on water off a ducks back, don't get cross just laugh at their silliness