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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To make DH get up

7 replies

LoveFridaynight · 26/02/2025 03:07

My mum died just over two weeks ago after a short hospital stay. I've not slept properly since the night before she died, keep waking up or can't get to sleep or both. I'm so tired not helped by doing a round trip of 40 miles several times a week to arrange the funeral/visit my dad.
Tonight (Tuesday night) I got to sleep really quickly. I woke up about 1:30 to go to the toilet but was still really tired so thought I'd get back to sleep quickly.
Get back to bed and DH was sprawled over about 80% of the bed. Managed to move him enough to squeeze in for bed and he starts snoring. Really loudly. Despite prodding him and trying to wake him enough so he'd roll over and hopefully shut up he's still asleep snoring.
I'm so tired I want to cry. Another trip to dad's this afternoon (seeing the minister so I do need to be there). No doubt one of my SEN children will be awake in about 90 minutes so I probably won't get anymore sleep tonight.
I'm so angry with DH which I actually do know is unreasonable as he's not snoring on purpose but I'm so tired (and emotional).
Anyone actually dealt with a snoring partner and not much sleep. Am I being unreasonable for being so pissed off? Would it be unreasonable to make him get up when our child wakes up? I normally do 6 mornings a week as I'm a SAHM and DH has a physical job.

OP posts:
beachcitygirl · 26/02/2025 03:16

Not unreasonable in the slightest given the circumstances- what you are dealing with along side childcare is exhausting. YOU and your kids health and well being is more important than a solid nights sleep for your partner.

Childcare is much much much harder than any job & I have a physical and demanding job. ( but I get a bloody lunch break)
Ps condolences

LoveFridaynight · 26/02/2025 03:21

Thank you. Usually I get moaned at if I wake him up as he says it have work. But I'm too exhausted to care and feel I can't properly care for DS or drive for miles on broken sleep (of several days).

OP posts:
hobnobs4life · 26/02/2025 03:53

I do a pointy finger jab to the ribcage. The snoring is the worst. Given your circumstances you’re very ok to ask him to sleep in the spare room or sofa for a night. Could you go to a hotel for a night by your dads to save a trip and get sleep and space? That might be even better.

LoveFridaynight · 26/02/2025 07:25

My sister is already staying with my dad so no room there. DH did get up with DS this morning but I still feel absolutely wiped out. Tbh I'm finding everything a struggle at the moment. DH said I can have a lie in on the weekend and he'll get up both days which is great but absolutely no guarantee I'll be able to sleep at the weekend.

OP posts:
Phresh · 26/02/2025 09:31

I think you're being a bit unfair given that it's not his fault. Can one of you sleep downstairs or take turns while you're not getting enough sleep?

LoveFridaynight · 26/02/2025 12:38

Unfair to be annoyed or unfair to make him get up? You could be right I'm so tired I don't even know what's reasonable anymore.
I wouldn't want to subject either of us to sleeping on our (very uncomfortable) sofa.though. He doesn't usually snore that much and I think last night it just broke me because of lack of sleep and I am incredibly sensitive at the moment.

OP posts:
Chuchoter · 26/02/2025 14:29

Can you get in with one of the children if you don't have a spare room?

Or get him in the kids bed and you and child in your bed for a few nights?

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