Baby + dog = need help!

[SereneOchreStork]

AIBU to expect a bit of help with the dog?

We have a cocker spaniel who has lots of energy and needs lots of walking. DH injured himself 18 months ago so it’s been up to me to do all the dog walking since then. Even if he’s helped, it’s just been a drive to the park, 10 minutes throwing a ball for her in a morning. I’ve then had to walk her in the evening. I’ve walked her whilst dragging a toddler through winter mud, whilst pregnant and constantly retching, with a debilitating pregnancy related vitamin deficiency that left me exhausted, and now I’m expected to walk her with a baby in tow

Today she covered me and DS in drool whilst shaking, then pulled me so hard that the pram was pulled onto the road. That was the final straw. I asked DH to ask PIL if they’d have her for a week to give me a break (they’re retired and have had her before) but he refused. He also refused to try walking her before work. Apparently, what I should do is set my alarm an hour early and walk the dog before he goes to work at 7, so it avoids the problem of walking her with the baby. If he was walking her, that’s what he’d have to do. The only other solution he offered was to get rid of her

AIBU to expect him to provide / arrange some help for me, just 1 day a week / a week off?

Why is he refusing to arrange help?

Does he seriously suggest you'll be fine losing an extra hour of sleep when you're already up half the night with a baby?

What irks me is that this seems to have become your issue to deal with as he "can't" because of his injury. While I'm sure it's valid, he can't simply pawn it off on you. Your reasons for not being able to do all the walks indefinitely are just as valid. He needs to arrange alternatives: Asking his parents, arranging a paid dog walker a few times a week, taking the time to drive the dog to the park and throw a ball there instead. He has a knee injury, I'm sure it didn't paralyze his ability to come up with different solutions.

Is there a dog field nearby you could book for an hour so they can run about mad and be safe. Then you and baby can chill/play too

You need to hire a walker until your OH is able to take over. You're doing far too much 😔

DH needs to arrange for a dog walker and you will both need to find the cash for it. Have you looked at things like the Cinnamon Trust too?

How old is the dog and whose idea was it to get her? Sorry to sound rude but I really don’t understand what is going on in the heads of people who have dogs and small children in the house at the same time. Dogs are best suited to empty nesters, Childfree people and those with much older kids, if their jobs have a lot of flexibility.

Don't agree with this at all.

I had 2 under 2 and a dog. Ddog got a solid 1hr+ walk a day

You have so much on your plate already. I'd tell him either walk him proper, pay for a dog walker or rehome the dog. I'd put money on him suddenly wanting to rehome rather the deal with it.

Hire a dog walker.

If you drive, find a secure private hire field, drive there, let dog run around whilst you pog the ball about.

Train the dog not to pull on the lead - this can be done in 5 minute sessions multiple times a day and starts in your living room/back garden, doesn't even need a lead as you're training the dog to walk next to you first.

Just walk around dropping treats by your leg, dog starts to walk next to you, make sure you're dropping fast enough that she doesn't start to jump up. If she looks up at you as you're doing this, lob a treat out to the side so she dashes after it (very exciting, reinforces looking up at you more, so she will repeat that behaviour. Later you can do it within the range the lead allows in suitable places).

Remember to practice this with the dog on the non-traffic side of you if you were pushing a pram/pushchair! I'd also recommend a waist belt lead system so you have no fear of dropping the lead in order to manage kids/pram etc as necessary.

Don't even think of heading off for a real on lead walk until you can march up and down outside your house with your dog paying total attention and sticking with you through changes of pace, turns, with you pushing a buggy (empty to start with) no matter what happens around you - as every time she practices pulling she's reinforced for pulling and you undo the work you did.

Doing all of this will result in a dog who walks nicely on a lead - it will take a little while to get as far as a proper walk, but that's no big deal if you have a walker a couple of times a week, can visit a secure field each week, and are doing several training sessions a day. It is actually better done slowly, to ensure every session is a success!

We have 2 under 4 and just rehomed our dog to my sister, I can’t believe how much less stress we’re experiencing on a daily basis. If you’re pregnant I’d definitely consider it as an option

If DH can’t help you should arrange a dog walker during this difficult period. As your baby gets older they may be able to have a few sessions at nursery to allow time for dog walking then, How long until your DH is fully recovered?