AIBU to think it's not school's decision?

[GlitteryRainbow]

Somehow I got volunteered to organise the Year 6 Leaver's hoodies. When I looked into it there was a discount available if we ordered by 31st January, so seemed perfect. I got a shop setup everyone ordered on time. I got the order delivered to school because it seemed easier. It was due to arrive in half term so I got it rescheduled. I let the secretary know they would arrive this Monday.

I told my daughter they were coming Monday and she was excited. No hoodie when I came home yesterday. I've been told today that the children can't have their hoodies until May. The parents paid for the hoodies, so AIBU to think that school can't decide when the children get their hoodies? I realise it's their decision when the hoodies can be worn at school. Other schools get them early on and wear them for the entire year. We've never been told that there is time they aren't allowed to wear the hoodies before.

Would I be unreasonable to ask the school to give the hoodies to either myself or the children. We'll agree that the children won't wear them to school before the date the head stipulates. In hindsight I should have just got them delivered to my address.

That is such a good idea. I'm going to suggest that to my son.

My kids' school give out the leavers' hoodies in October when y6 go on their residential and they're allowed to wear them as their school jumper from then on.
The PTA pays for one hoodie per child and there is an option for parents to buy extra, as they're being worn every day for 9 months.

I think the deal should be that if you want the kids to have their hoodies now, you come and teach them until July, with hoodies. That way you can see how so many of them behave once this physical reminder that they are leaving is given out.

Of course the school set them aside for now. They are busy running a school not a hoodie distribution service. The students aren't leaving yet and that is the purpose to commemorate their leaving and transitioning. The minute you involved the school being the delivery point you made them a part of the decision. That is all on you and you should respect their decision. YABVU

Is it a private school OP?

No it’s not a private school. It’s just a Primary school in a village and happens to be small.

I respect their decision that the kids can’t wear the hoodies in school until they decide. However, I don’t respect their decision that the kids can’t wear the hoodies outside school until they decide. When I mentioned the delivery to the secretary she said she’d let the teacher know to expect them so they could be given out so I don’t see how I’m being very unreasonable.

Yes you would think t shirts would be better . Mire weather suitable and less costly

Schools do not have extra staff available to immediately open a box the day they arrive and hand them out. Most teachers don't have time to visit the loo let alone do extra unnecessary work such as this. It is not an urgent task for them.

You also really don't know when they will be given out. You are taking the word of your friend who unless they are the head they probably do not really know everything. It's only been two days. Give them some time to sort it out before getting yourself all worked up about it.

Yes agreed my dd wore hers twice it was given so late. What a waste. I hope you get the hoodies op. I understand you’re cross as they’ve made assumptions. From the school’s pov, they may also be cross as you did the same.

Our school don't do them at all! We have names on the back of the regular school sweatshirt for y6 which they can order at the end of y5 and wear all year. Then we do leavers yearbooks which they get at the end. There are always people wanting the hoodies because other schools in town do them but reading all this I'm glad we don't as it seems like a bit of a minefield!

My children only got their hoodies on leaving their respective schools. They did wear them, both after primary and secondary, for a while (though one lost one, think it got left when we went out to eat).

At my school (where I work), I order the hoodies and we give them out on the last day of the summer term. It's part of the fun for that day but only about two thirds of parents buy one, so I wouldn't regard it as fair to let the ones who do have one wear theirs to school, when it's not the others' fault that their parents don't/ can't buy one.

The school certainly don't have to give out OP's hoodies now nor allow the children to wear them. What is the point anyway if they can't be worn to school and they haven't left? OP should have talked to the school about this anyway.

In my school the order is sorted out by Y6 TAs - it's a big job, as we have 90 children and we wouldn't put it on parents to make sure it was all correct! We never have anyone who doesn't want one, but usually have one or two children that we cover the cost for because of family circumstances, and other parents don't need to know that. Our PTA make a contribution of about £5 per hoodie, so this year they cost £13 for child sizes and £15 for adult sizes.
We always order them near the end of February and expect to give them out before the Easter holidays. The children are then allowed to wear them to and from school and during breaks, but they have to take them off during lessons.

I've read all the OP's replies. Seems to me like a lot of jumping to conclusions. One member of staff has mentioned that the hoodie have arrived and suggested they are deliberately not being handed out yet. OP has not yet attempted to contact the school and ask to take possession of the delivery so just has this rumour.

School have not said officially or even unofficially from anyone actually in charge that they are holding on to the hoodies.

A tenner says it's just a misunderstanding and once OP actually speaks to someone they are quite happy to have the big box not cluttering up the school office.

It sounds like you took on a job which the finer details weren't discussed. It does seem early to signal its the end if the year in February and just because you got a deal in January doesn't mean school wants children in them now. Also I'm really surprised you think because the hoodie arrived on that day, the schools priority would be to give them out on that day. Why make your child be excited about something you didn't know was happening. I feel sorry for schools having to manage all this stuff as well as the actual job of teaching.

I only ask as I experienced EXACTLY the same thing as you at out sons prep school a few years back. Petty of the schools really!!

Totally agree with you OP.

FWIW our school gave the kids their hoodies back in December! They were allowed to wear them on Friday only in January and have just announced they can wear them every day.

I contacted the school prior to delivery and was told that when the box arrived it would be given to the class teacher to give them out. In my opinion that's discussing the finer details. I'd arranged it with the secretary. My friend who works at the school was going to give the hoodies out but wasn't allowed to, so that's how I know what is going on. I'm not jumping to conclusions like I've been accused of.

I thought it best to speak to someone in person, which I will do on Friday at school drop off. It will be the first time this week I've been at school during school hours. Now I expect I will be accused of choosing the most difficult time of day to try and talk to them. However, there is a teacher on the school gate to speak to at drop off .

I have taught in poorer areas where not every child would have bought a leaver's hoodie.
We did not allow them to be worn at school because it would not have felt fair on the kids still in a 2 year old Asda cardigan.
They don't leave until summer. Why do you want them in Feb?

You have no idea how difficult it is to keep year 6 focused and calm as they head towards leaving. Some are excited, some incredibly anxious and the last thing they need is such a visible reminder.
Why would you want them to have a hoodie that celebrates then being a leaver 6 months before they are actually a leaver?
The worst thing is, parents with attitudes like this are the first to come and whinge when the year 6s gets too giddy and their little darling is on the wrong end of a falling out, or dropping grades etc.
People wonder why teachers are leaving in droves, childish and selfish behaviour from parents is a huge part of it.

Mine get their t-shirts quite early on in Y6 but their hoodies are handed out on leaving week. They are encouraged to wear the t-shirts for any group events / pictures throughout the year.

Someone messed up when DC1 was in Y6 and the hoodies didn't arrive until the summer holidays. People were advised they could collect in September (we did as I still had other DC at the school) but many people never collected theirs. Such a shame and a waste.

If they are available now it makes sense to let them have them whilst it's actually cold.

Does everyone have a hoodie? You mention it's only half a class to hand out. I assume from your post only people who ordered will have one, so there might be a lot of children without (half the class) so even more reason to delay handing them out.

Our school do it in May after SATs as part of celebrations and the hoodies are paid for by the PTA so everyone has one (even if they choose not to wear it). As others mention, they still haven't finished primary school and wearing a non uniform item (as yours have chosen whatever colour they want) makes it feel like they are done already and can do what they want. The teacher wants to ensure they are focused rather than feeling they are done with primary school.

Really you should have discussed this with the headteacher if you were concerned over when they would get them.
Also saying that the children know they have arrived is a good lesson in patience. We don't always get what we want immediately and these are 10 and 11 year olds. I would expect all of them (even those with SEN) to be able to understand how to wait. Otherwise I suggest for those children who are struggling you could write a social story about it.

At our school the school discreetly told me (with the parent’s permission) who could not cover the hoodies. It is clearly quite sensitive but only I knew. The PTA then transferred me the money for those hoodies and I didn’t chase up those parents. I honestly have no recollection years later who those children were and I don’t make any record of it. If the PTA hadn’t paid I would have spread the cost over the other parents as that was accepted at our school that no child should be left out. The hoodies were a great leveller in that final year of school.

That's a lovely solution but unfortunately many schools don't do this, and those in the most deprived areas usually are those with the lowest level of funds from PTA for obvious reasons.
I wish more schools would think about this sort of thing.