To panic about not being able to get a job?

[acraftycorvid]

I'm in my mid thirties and have worked for the family business since I left school. This business is now closing as the person who founded it is retiring and it's not something I could do on my own so I need to find other work.

I don't have any skills or experience as I've always just done as I'm told and I never dealt with customers directly, so I don't have any references either. I don't have a lot of practice talking to other people, I have done some volunteer work but never got to know anyone well enough to be able to ask them for a reference and don't have any friends for character references. I've been to the Jobcentre but I don't qualify for Jobseekers/job clubs because I was self employed before. They helped me make a CV and told me to apply for any jobs available, but I've never been invited to an interview from doing this. I'm only looking for minimum wage work.

I'm worried I'll never be able to find anyone who would employ me, I wouldn't if I were them! I do have a small amount of money I could use for retraining but I don't know where to start, the job I have been doing is manual labour only. I did do a maths degree with the OU a couple of years ago, but this was probably a waste of time without any soft skills to go with it. Does anyone have any advice or ideas please? I'm completely out of my depth with it all. Thank you.

You are clever, reliable and good with numbers.

All you lack is confidence.

Also in your situation you can ask family member for a reference, since they were also your employer.

Contact the volunteering place and ask for a reference.

And try to be much nicer about yourself - sounds like your employer has you believing you are worthless.

Agree with pps, you are obviously bright and capable. You just need to add in some confidence and start thinking more laterally and a bit more can do. The reference situation won’t be insurmountable, even a short stint volunteering would cover it.

Confidence can be learned. A fair part of it is to be found in going slightly out of your comfort zone bit by bit and gradually building up a sense of capability.

The family member is my father, I don't really have any other family members or friends. Even volunteering schemes seem to want references! Thank you for your kind words

You keep saying you’re bad with other people but what makes you think this? It does read to me as if you’ve been told it by someone who wants your time for cheap labour. I hope you have some
people around you other than your father to support you through this next bit of your life.

What is your living situation ie are you living with this person?

I think your issue is low confidence not a low skill set.

Someone with a first class maths degree could go into a number of professions. You are obviously intelligent and capable.

Would you consider CBT?

A first class degree is a fantastic qualification! Especially through the Open University; distance learning takes great discipline.

Another vote for a bookkeeping course.
www.bookkeepers.org.uk/Study--Qualifications/Bookkeeping-Courses/
These qualifications would enable you to set up your own bookkeeping business or get an accounts assistant role. The training would give you a focus and gaining qualifications a sense of achievement.

In the summer there will be fruit picking work - they won't be fussed on references.

In the autumn, coming into winter, Royal Mail shout out for Christmas staff and often, if you do well, they will keep you on after too.

I know neither of those are helpful right now, but just giving an idea of some things to look out for.

You must have a really good brain if you've got that maths degree! You should be so proud of that.
What about using your savings to train up in QuickBooks or something similar so you have that training/qualification under your belt too? For keeping booked for people/accountancy?

It's ok if you're lacking in confidence or people skills, we aren't all the same.

You sound like a hard worker, good with physical skills with a strong mathematical brain. Lots to offer. And a good work ethic

@acraftycorvid Local councils have paid apprenticeships and pay for and accommodate accountancy courses still. They require tests in Microsoft excel, but with a first in maths that won't be hard to learn via Google if you're not already well equipped in that area. My dp has a (less good!) maths degree and has done this in the years we've been together.

You sound massively downtrodden and lacking in confidence. Has that been drilled into you by family?

No we live separately fortunately! I was grateful to work for the business when I left school because I didn't feel I had any other options, but now I can see it would have been better to go my own way back then. I can't really get my words out around other people and they tend to avoid me after a while. The fruit picking suggestion by another poster is a good one though, there are big fruit farms around here and the season starts early so that's something to look into.

OP, a maths degree is amazing. It doesn’t matter that its ‘only’ from the open university. There are maths careers that don’t involve a lot of close public interaction. But i’m sure you could gain a bit more experience via different volunteer roles.

Definitely go for a bookkeeping/ payroll course/ job op

If you have a first class maths degree i recommend you look at accountancy or coding courses - makers academy for example.

There are often roles that don't need people skills really - look at more technical things that will value your maths. Look at training programs or entry level jobs with gambling companies - IT/software companies etc.

I’m glad you have got some space in that you live separately.

When it comes to smart school leavers, supportive family members do not generally collude with them thinking they do not have options. Hopefully in time by whatever route you take you come to understand that you are smart and capable and in terms of career you are not limited to minimum wage jobs in the long run. If you have been isolated for some time you will likely find your people skills and confidence improve with practice. If fruit-picking appeals to you go for it, you never know where these things might lead.

I really think you're underselling yourself thinking about fruit picking if you've got a first class maths degree. Start looking at data analyst type roles, they don't involve customer service. The government run an apprenticeship scheme for statistician's, they'll train you up and you're paid while you're doing it. There are other schemes like this too, I think the NHS has one. They are desperate for people with maths skills.

I mean this in the kindest possible way - if you can afford it I’d invest in some therapy. You sound like you have very low self esteem. You have a first class maths degree, you write clearly and articulately. There absolutely will be a job for you. Have you thought about retraining in software development or data and analytics?

In the meantime could you look into supermarket work? I know you say lots of places need non-family references - was there anyone either not in the family or with a different surname who was senior to you in the business who can give one? Usually a reference just confirms you worked there these days, that’s all.

Do you have any passions or hobbies?

Try your local library. They very often hold sessions to support with job seeking, or will point you in the right direction. Google employment support plus your area and something will come up.

I think the only thing lacking here is confidence. Reverse every single claim you’ve made so far:

• bad at taking initiative —> I am good at following instructions from managers and being a team player.
• “only” worked in the family business —> I am loyal to my employer / my employer has kept entrusting me with these important tasks over several years and valued my achievements.
• I only know manual labour —> I am skilled in manual labour / I am dependable, even when tasks are repetitive
• I only know how to move things into trucks —> I have a licence to operate pallet vehicles (whatever it’s called) / I can carry out tasks in a timely and consistent manner.
• Good with numbers
• Bad at external communications—> good at internally communicating with managers about tasks etc or?

Consider similar fields initially and shift/expand area as your confidence grows:

• there is easy manual labour relating to printed products (post print production??). I interned once in this and we were sticking tags onto cardboard pieces for in-store marketing campaigns. I guess that’s a small market but just to give some out of the box ideas.
• Supermarket/retail stocking team. Keeping track of numbers seems to be a skill valued in stocking.
• other logistic centre type jobs

Remember - Just because you were working for a relative, doesn’t mean it wasn’t a real job!!

Remember - lots of jobs requiring social skills are filled with people without social skills!! So don’t undervalue yourself, you might still get hired. Maybe you don’t want a forward facing role, and that’s okay.

Finally, I think it’s quite normal to feel this way when making a change after being in one place for a long time. I think lots of us can relate to this when it comes to joining the workforce after maternity leave and kind of forgetting what you’re good at and wondering if you can make it in the so called “real” world.

I believe in you. You should too.

That’s amazing that you got a first in maths! You are selling yourself short.

How about data science? https://codefirstgirls.com/courses/cfgdegree/#cfgapply

These courses are amazing my employer does them, if you complete the course you are guaranteed a job and they are designed for career changers. Please reach out for help with applications as well.

I did a similar course and I promise they get all sorts, nurses, musicians, models, bar staff.

You can start off with a shorter course to see if you like it and they will have support for you.

Volunteer somewhere while you look. Anywhere. Charity shops will give you customer service experience. A soup kitchen will give you experience of preparing and serving food.

First thing you need to do is stop talking yourself down. You're clearly very smart so stop with the:

I'm not good at...
All I do is...
I've never...
I can't...
I don't have...
I just do...

Think about what you have done, what you are good at, what you can do, what you'd like to be able to do, what you enjoy...

Jesus H Christ stop running yourself down. You did a maths degree, while having a job. You write well. Don't run yourself down.

Maths teaching: https://getintoteaching.education.gov.uk/life-as-a-teacher/explore-subjects/maths Bear in mind that there's a lot of demand for people who can teach maths 121 or small group as well - not just classroom teaching.

Your employment with your Father does not seem to have done you any favours. I am not sure if you can claim universal credit but if you can, you will be allocated a work coach who can give you guidance on next steps etc.