What would you do if your 4yo stole something?

[itsmondayyy]

Posting for traffic. Potentially stolen - but yet to get the facts straight!

4.5 year old came home from reception with a sparkly little toy in pocket. I asked about it and she said it was "Ella's". I asked if Ella gave it to her and she said no. Then I asked if Ella knew she had it and she said yes but got cross. After that she refused to engage in the subject so I said we would chat later when she's feeling calmer. (Straight after school never a good time).

So WWYD in this scenario? (No incidents of stealing before). To begin with I will chat to her at bathtime and try to get to the bottom of it obviously. If it turns out she has stolen it should I:

1. Speak to her about stealing being wrong and unkind, then ask her to give it back to Ella tomorrow - or is this too much responsibility for a 4yo?
2. Speak to her and then hand the item back to Ella's mum with an apology.
3. Something else?

Avree, just give it back to the teacher and tell your child that tou must ask to play with peoples things and not bring them home.thats it. Don't worry too much about it it is normal. Mine went through a stage of bringing the odd nick nack from class home at that age, a block, a pencil etc.

DS did something like this when he was about 6. He came home with a couple of small toy cars that weren’t his. At first he said he’d found them, than admitted he’d taken them. I took him to see his teacher after school and explained what had happened. His teacher thanked DS for his honesty and said that was the end of the matter. DS was embarrassed but he survived 😊

Don't over think it. Just tell her not to bring things home that aren't hers and then give it to the teacher tomorrow.

Just explain that if some took her favourite toy would she want it back.
Do not use the word steal. As she could tell friends she stole it and get excluded if they tell their mums .

Then just hand it back to teacher and say your daughter said this was X's. Leave it at that.

At 4?! Yes they do! Or shopliftting toddlers would be a national problem. ! Anyway, its ideal time to instill a learned experience and accountability. Thats suppose to be a bit uncomfortable.Essentially is included as part of development. @JacqFrost ? Not flowery it up with you found it. ...(silent in dds hand.at home?) As you said,wont be 1st.time. It will be fine.
In order to prevent repeat event -yes,keep it simple. stole-can adapt to brought home(without permission). Go via teacher-had item explain not dds.
I think-you know your dds level of understnding.At 4(in fact even t 14....and i am serious)if ds mankyblanket had been left behind/missing in action/awol it would be a massive catastrophic event. was therefore easy to equate-do not take somebody elses "things". so apology would be expected. todrw the line under it never happen again.
its not that big a deal-if appropriately dealt with
I actual eyeroll at "ella shuldnt have had it" -like serves her right?people are nuts

You say "there's nothing to manage", then proceed to tell me step by step how to manage it.

Right spoken to her at bedtime. Turns out they were playing a game and Ella got out lots of little toys and said whoever catches it can keep it, throwing them about. Another little girl "Ava" caught a toy and got to keep it. DC didn't and so grabbed the toy and hid it from Ella. DC said she feels it was unfair that Ava got to keep a toy but she didn't.

We spoke about how it was wrong to hide the toy and how Ella might be feeling (DC said "sad") and I asked how can we make it better. DC not too sure on that one.

I think we are going to give the toy to the teacher tomorrow and then I'll encourage my DC to say sorry to Ella.

Bless her, that’s very honest of her.
My DD is 7, turning 8 this summer and girls and their friendships is such a hard one to tackle.
DD2 is due after DD1’s birthday so I’ll be going through it all again 😂