child maintenance criminals

[CMsCriminals]

This department s an absolute disgrace
I have overpayment of £6.515.32 after they hounded me for money for a child that was not mine and refuses o return the money to me.

Sir this is a Wendy's

🤣🤣🤣🤣 howling.

Thoughts and prayers ❤️

Cool story bro.

I'm assuming they don't have the money, you'll need to take the mother to court.

Good luck with that

How do you know the child isn't yours?

I just went through child maintenance to get my sons so called father to pay for his son he has never met. They have had to force it out of his wages. They told me if he tries to wriggle out of it by denying paternity then he would have to pay for the paternity test and all would be open and honest and no doubt (for him, i know my baby is his)

So, why didnt your tight arse pay out for this much smaller cost in the first place before going on to pay as you thought you should have then moan about it after?

why

They took the money and passed it on

Sorrows. Prayers.

I have first hand experience of what a shit show the CMS is for both the receiving and paying parents.

Unfortunately very few on Mumsnet will give you a fair hearing because the media etc has done such a good job at painting every father as a deadbeat who doesn’t want to contribute to his children.

All I see on MN are first had accounts of what women have been through. It's nothing to do with the "media".

It is do with the media, Mumsnet is a part of the media and the rhetoric that is shared here, mostly by women given it is a female driven site.

The CMS is dreadful for receiving parents (most of whom are women). Men are able to go self-employed, not declare income, duck and dive. I’ve experienced this first hand.

It is equally as dreadful for paying parents (most of whom are men). My partner’s ex opened a fraudulent case against him, claiming he never had his children overnight, even though it was 50/50. This lead to demands for money in the thousands of pounds, which took months for my partner to sort out. The CMS’ attitude is to believe the woman (receiving parent) no matter what. Good luck proving otherwise if you have a vindictive, spiteful ex. This isn’t a rare occurrence either, and has tragically lead to men committing suicide.

It’s not a one-sided issue.

No, it's not equally as dreadful for paying parents.

They get the option of quitting their job, going part time, moving in with someone who has kids, putting more into their pension, getting a lower paid job, getting a court order stating 50/50, going self employed and not declaring their full wages.....

The receiving parent just has to suck it up.

It's 12% of their wages for one child, and 19% for 3+ children (and several ways to get out of paying). Just because you say your partner had a bad experience it doesn't mean it's anything like 'equally' as bad.

Well anecdotally they believed my ex over me when he tried to say he had our daughter 50/50 when he hadn't even seen her for 6 months.

That isn’t how the CMS works. If you claimed the child benefit then they would have automatically believed you, unless there was a 50/50 court order in place.

If, without the conditions I’ve stated above, they just believed your ex then they were in breach of their own policies, which state that they consider the resident parent to be whoever claims the child benefit.

Yes, there are shit aspects for the receiving parent, which I’ve experienced, as I’ve said.

HOWEVER

The paying parent just has to ‘suck up’ whatever the receiving parent chooses to tell the CMS.

It’s not just my partner, it’s thousands of cases where the ‘receiving parent’ hasn’t been honest and the ‘paying parent’ does not have an equal right of reply. There have been several cases which have ended in suicide. The CMS actually incentivises less overnight stays, as the fewer overnight stays, the more money the ‘receiving parent’ can claim (that is, if they’ve been honest in the first place).

It's easy enough to get a court order to clarify things. If there's no court order in place then that's sheer stupidity imo.

There have been several families blame maintenence for the suicide of their loved one, I get that, the need for an actual reason, but no ordinarily happy, mentally OK person will die by suicide over 12% of their wages.

I have no doubt there are the occasional shit outcome for the paying parent, but it's largely an issue for the receiving parent. There's absolutely no comparison there. RPs are screwed over all the time and there's very little in the way of comeback.

Undoubtedly you'll dismiss it, just like you dismissed pps lived experience as well, but it's true. The system is overwhelmingly set up in favour of the NRP.

We will have to agree to disagree. I am both a receiving parent, and the partner of a paying parent, so I see it from both perspectives.

I am only asking people to consider the issue from both sides, rather than the stereotype of man = deadbeat and woman = struggling single mum with feckless ex.

If the ‘receiving parent’ has declared you never have your children, when in fact you have them half the time (and all the expenses that comes with), then 12% of your income significant and financially ruinous. The 12% is also from your pre-tax income. CMS also has the habit of adding false arrears onto paying parents accounts, inflating payments to even more unaffordable levels. This is all well documented information, and I would encourage anyone to spend five minutes of their time researching this issue.

Dragging children through the court to get arrangement orders is damaging to the children and alienates the parents from each other even more.

Me too!!

Can I ask how you ended up paying for a child who was not yours?

How long did you pay for, did you believe the child was yours and then discovered they were not at some point?

We will have to agree to disagree.

The fact you think getting things cleared up in court so neither party can screw the other over tells me all I need to know.

Court proceedings in fractious relationships (which is what we are discussing) are clearly damaging to children and to the relationship between parents. That’s why you have to attend a MIAM, mediation, CAFCASS and a dispute hearing beforehand, and it’s written all over the court documents that child arrangement orders are a last resort. But go ahead and disagree with the numerous agencies I’ve just mentioned.

My DC never knew me and their Dad went to Court to standardise their contact arrangements, so in my view it can only damage the DC if it's brought to their attention. There's no need to do so.

Thanks to the Court Order my DC's Dad is consistent and has them when he is supposed to, instead of when he feels like it, as he did before (it was me that forced the proceedings, not him).