Joint owner house purchase

[Botanicallover]

I am in the process of house purchase with partner of 5 years. We have lived together for several years but have decided to finally buy together. I have stayed in his current home contributing to half of the bills/mortgage for around 3 years. My partner has a larger deposit due to large increase in equity on his current home so the split is probably 75% his vs 25% mine.

We are discussing finances and though we have been advised by solicitor to remain as joint tenants, he wants to write up a cohabitation agreement to protect his deposit and going forward we will split bills/expenses proportionally to income to be left with same disposable each (I am the higher earner now so I will contribute a lot more monthly). We have spoken about marriage which is really important to me and it worries me that this agreement suggests he might not thinking about the future as being a married couple.

I am just wondering if this sounds reasonable when I'll be paying more for monthly costs which won't be accounted for and can't really be written up in the agreement as our salaries will change. I do understand why he would want to protect his deposit for the worst case scenario but just want an opinion on how others have managed this situation?

You'd have a bigger deposit percentage if you hadn't been paying half his mortgage for 3 years! Who suggested that? Contribution, yes, but half of coats of a home you don't own is unwise to say the least.

As for the rest of it - proportional bill split is fair, as is protecting his deposit.

Why were you paying towards his mortgage?

Er no, I wouldn't be doing that. Ringfencing his deposit and then splitting the mortgage 50/50 would be fair, ringfencing the deposit and then you paying more but him owning more of the house doesn't seem that way.

and going forward we will split bills/expenses proportionally to income to be left with same disposable each

Married and with kids, fine.

Unmarried and no kids, nope. 50/50 on all bills. Once kids and marriage come along, then it all becomes family money and fun money is equal.

No. He wants to protect his deposit fair enough. But then mortgage /bills 50/50 split. You aren’t married and don’t have shared children.

Hold on, so he wants a 75 25 split, even though you've been paying half the mortgage for three years, and he also wants a split his way so he pays less monthly?

Er... no.

50/50 bills at least, you messed up paying his mortgage so he can do the 75 25 but that's done now.

i am in a similar position (husband put in capital from his flat sale into our current house, i had nothing to contribute) but we are now married and i have been the higher earner for 15 years. I am paying 2/3 of mortgage and utilities plus 100% of food and holidays while dh pays 1/3 of mortgage and utilities. Watching this thread.

Agree with pp.

Ringfence deposit - fine

Bills % to Salary - no, 50/50

(He does seem to be taking advantage and using you like a cash cow).

Your situation is different as you are now married.

Do you have the same amount of spends and saving?

We only got married recently after being together for over 20 years. We don’t have equal spends and savings. My husband has inheritances and he keeps the funds separate and we are 90% living off my employment income. Which leaves me not a lot to save. He has chosen to stop working twice and lives off the interest from his inheritance.

I'd start your own thread and let MNers help you unpick this situation you are in. It does not seem fair or reasonable!

of course, it was not my intention to hijack, was more interested if it would re-engage the OP/commenters on this thread. Interested to hear what others have done in position of no capital v high income.

You'd be nuts to sign up for paying more than half the bills but owning less than half the house.

I'd be refusing to buy together until we can both pay 50% deposit and be joint tenants. He can invest the rest of the money.

I wouldn't want to be tenants in common and only own e.g. 25% because it will hang over your head for, literally, the rest of your life.

I think it's reasonable to say you want to get engaged before buying. Five years is plenty long enough to know that you are happy together.

Er, shouldn’t you be getting a portion of equity as u’ve been paying into mortgage x3 yrs?