to wonder why consultants comment on people's personalities?

[EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon]

Not a TAAT but I just read a post on a different thread that mentioned someone experiencing this, and it reminded me that I've heard about it several times over the past couple of years.

In 2023 I fractured my shoulder and as it wasn't a straightforward fracture I was referred to a consultant, who wrote in one of this reports that I was a 'very pleasant lady'. While that was nice to read, it baffled me a little as I didn't see the relevance.

Then a friend of DH's said a consultant had referred to him as a 'pleasant gentleman'. (Different part of the country, no chance it was the same person.)

Then another friend said she'd been referred to as a 'lovely lady' when seen for stomach problems.

Don't get me wrong, compliments are always nice. I just find it a bit strange in a health context. 🤔 I've wondered whether it's some sort of code for 'cooperative patient' or something along those lines, but then I can be a bit of a cynic at times.

Has anyone else experienced this, or does anyone know why it's done?

I got a copy of a letter through recently from when my husband took my son to his orthopaedic appointment including the line “His father reports that he is now able to walk however today was not a good day and he did not wish to demonstrate this” 😂I immediately turned to my husband and said “so he had a tantrum then?”

That’s awful! I cannot believe doctors out there are writing this stuff. Nice compliment I guess!

I can imagine the kind of doctor that writes this stuff. It is probably a man with a stethoscope casually slung around his neck at all times, even when it is not needed. He might occasionally wear a bow tie and think of himself as a bit of a ‘character’. Stereotyping I know, but I steer clear of consultant colleagues like that.

My discharge letter after hospital admission said “ This very young looking lady”.

Exactly right. Absence of a compliment means the patient is a nob. HTH 😀

It would seem extremely unwise for a male neurologist to call a female patient 'good looking' in writing. Not doubting at all that he did but it is very surprising as it would seem to risk a complaint/ GMC referral. I can only think that the context might be relevant. As a psychiatrist I suppose I might possibly say it to counter the patient asserting themselves that they are ugly eg if they have BDD or depression. As a neurologist I can only think that it might be to refute there being any facial deformity or dysmorphia associated with a syndrome.

Going back about twenty years when I had a problem ditching booze: "a very pleasant oriental lady presenting with an alcohol addiction" 😂😂😂

Don’t sweat the small stuff 😉 it’s just not that big an issue surely. It’s just that it probably makes a change to speak to someone who isn’t a pain…. NHS staff really do put up with some real idiots and aggressive types on a daily basis.

@CarefulN0w

yes I'm a nurse and old enough to remember the days of rude notes & letters. Gallowayan has provided some examples of commonly used acronyms. I also remember FLK (funny looking kid)

Funny looking kid? Why would you need to tell anyone that you think someone's child is funny looking? And who are you to decide that?!

@WorriedRelative

Don't forget UFK - ugly fat kid.

Again, what in the everloving fuck? Why are people commenting on what peoples children look like?! The image of NHS workers being kind, and nurses being 'Angels' is being tarnished by the second. Sounds like some really unkind things are said amongst them.

And according to one poster further back, teachers have 'codewords' too - to describe certain children as 'little shits' and that 'this child wastes his fucking time in class...' I mean, WTF? No wonder some professions get a hard time from some people, they can probably see through them, and see what they really think of them!

Tell ya what, this thread has opened my eyes about certain people/certain professions!!

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@LikeWhoUsesTypewritersAnyway

Myself and other posters have not said we used the phrases. As per the discussion, myself and other professionals have explained that such language was used in consultant letters until the end of the 1980s.

FWIW we have a better understanding of lots of genetic conditions today, but FLK wasn't always a judgement. It was sometimes used to refer to children with undetermined congenital symptoms which were characterised by facial abnormalities. Of course it was rude - and would rightly not be acceptable today, but it was a language that was understood by referrers and receivers and meant a child probably had an underlying condition to investigate.

They're used for men and women alike. It's just a thing. This very pleasant person...

My most recent consultant''s report announced I appeared very youthful for my years. It was not a throw away remark. It was a whole sentence and he spent most of the consultation looking at me in mystification. And he was not there to diagnose my Ehlers Danlos which would have made it relevant.

I see this more as relaying concern perhaps that there’s a red flag in terms of parental oversight involvement/ controlling manner

I'm "A lovely lady who makes a good go of it despite significant disability"...

I have decided this means that I am both fabulous and stoic... he's a nice consultant who has made some life changing decisions on my healthcare plan (for the better), and we've had a giggle over the years, so I think it's meant in good humour.

Frankly, I would forgive him if he said I was a grumpy old hag. It would be true, I have been at times, but this medical professional has done so much for me.

I once had "over anxious mother" removed from one of my kids' medical records... written when I took them to the GP for a third time in the week... long story short, both lungs had collapsed, and it seems I was the only person who had noticed it.... after that was sorted out, I got VIP treatment at the surgery... as did the kid who tended to stop breathing if someone so much as farted within a 100-mile radius.

The same kid was also described as a "happy little wheezer" which apparently described a tendency to look extraordinarily well even when life threateningly ill. On another occasion though, someone once wrote that the "outlook was bleak" for the child. That broke me, but fortunately turned out to be an incorrect prediction.

I'm sure there is a lot of code in the letters, but I'm going to focus on the awesome work these people have done for my health and that of my kids, one of whom really kept everyone on their toes. Little sod.

My movement disorder symptoms affect the face, so it really probably was exactly why he wrote it. I was both simultaneously flattered and horrified in equal measures!

Sorry, that’s upsetting.

In the first scenario, I infer it would have related to communication of past mental health as part of safeguarding.

The second scenario was handled really insensitively and inappropriately IMO. Horrible when you don’t feel well or otherwise able to challenge at the time, is it something you could feedback via PALS?

Or signs of good circulation relevant to the reason for referral?

Yes, I think that they always say this sort of thing unless you are an out-and-out psycopath or a real hypochoncriac. It's normally been on all our families letters.

All I can say, is that I have been a doctor since the early 90s. I have not seen or used these rude and stupid acronyms. Maybe I have been lucky and just worked with decent people, who knows.

Thanks for replying.

Yeah that was my suspicion on the first one. What irritated me so much was that the consultant said nothing in the appointment, in which case I could have explained that they were very old and from a short period of time in my teens following a traumatic event. And that it was completely irrelevant to the matter I'd gone in about. It made me feel like it was being implied that I was a potential maniac, which put me off seeking further treatment as I then asked to be discharged from his care because I felt unsafe considering his potential bias.

The second one, that really was unpleasant. Unfortunately, I've only got hazy memories of it because I was going into sepsis. I'm certain I heard it but I don't remember who said it, except that it was a man's voice. Thank you for confirming it wasn't ok though - it's awful enough being so unwell and stripped naked in front of so many people - let alone them making loud personal remarks about your body.

Showing my age now, but the characters from old-school sitcoms like Doctor At Large spring to mind...

I've once had "2025NewUserName has two children who she says are autistic". This doctor was for me and not a doctor for my children. They were diagnosed so the way the letter was phrased was pretty annoying and the DC also have a presentation of autism where no one has EVER questioned their diagnosis.

Doctors use 'x says that y' a lot in letters, it isn't judgemental although I can see in some cases it reads that way.

It's just a way of recording what you were told by the patient in clinic.

I always thought it was a code so they know you aren’t difficult, so lovely or pleasant means will be ok. I often got my profession referred to (legal) in medical correspondence.

I knew this rationally, but it still annoyed me 😂