To leave 13 year old in an Airbnb?

[NoSmokeWithoutFire0]

Would you leave your 13 year old (one month shy of 14 if it makes any difference) for a couple of hours during the evening in an Airbnb cottage for a wedding reception?

He’s quiet and sensible, but ND and likely to struggle socialising for the full day and evening do. I’m looking at an Airbnb approx 5 minutes walk from the venue so he could go and have some quiet time if he’s had enough.

I’m a single parent and his 10 year old brother will be with us. My parents are also coming so if it’s a completely crazy thought, it won’t be an issue for us to take turns sitting in with him if needs be. I know he’ll just want to be left though! Thoughts?

Is he used to being left alone for that sort of thing when he is at home?
Is he likely to be worried by being in a strange place?

On the face of it, it sounds fine (I would probably take him back and get him settled before returning to the reception), but only you know your DS would react in those circumstances. I assume you both would have phones?

I would. My child has been letting himself in at home since he started secondary school and would be absolutely fine left for a couple of hours with something to watch/read/scroll on his phone.

Check in by text if it makes you feel more at ease

I wouldn’t as you never know who has a key.

Can’t he sit somewhere a bit quieter at the wedding? Maybe if any family are staying in the venue he could use their room if he needs time out?

I have a teen who regularly lets herself in at home etc but I don’t know why I would feel uncomfortable leaving her somewhere away from home.

I think it depends on how your child feels?

In theory it's fine. If your DS is happy to be left then I would.

My DD15 is ND & would feel uncomfortable because it was an unfamiliar place.

How long can he be left alone in the evening at home?
I wouldn't leave him longer in a strange place after an intense day

I leave my ASD very sensible 13 year old in Air B&Bs. She needs FAR more down time than the rest of the family. She can call if she needs us
(and does regularly to ask daft questions or show me stuff!) If we went at her pace we'd leave the house once every 3 days on holiday!

Yes I would.
Left our 13 year old in a holiday cottage for a few hours at a time in similar circumstances. Still says it was one of her favourite holidays because she had time to herself.

No - she could not sit somewhere quietly. Last time we went to a wedding she didn't make it through the meal. We had to go home and she disappeared into her dark room for 2 days! There is no where quiet and private enough for her to relax at a wedding. She needs to take her clothes off.

I would providing he is happy to be left and has a phone .

My main concern is that other people could have keys. I don't know if I'm being dramatic with that though.

I would as long as he can phone you.

At 13? Yes of course.

Yes absolutely if he were fine with it.

If it’s fine, it should be fine but I would think up three or four unlikely but possible scenarios and ask him what he were doing each one of them for example someone’s banging on the door. What would you do?

At almost 14 he will be fine. I would leave a phone just in case so he can phone you.

Yes I would.

The nature of how he is ND is quite relevant here. As standard, I would say that of course there's no problem with leaving a 13 year old alone for a couple of hours.
But if him being ND means he's highly anxious, or adapts poorly to new places, then that may well change things.

Thank you for the replies!

Yes he’s used to being on his own for a few hours during the day (in school hols for example if me and his brother go out), comes home from school alone some days, and once a week he’s home alone between 7-9pm while I take his brother to football. He’s literally at his happiest when he’s unbothered by people. 😅

He says he’ll be completely fine, and we’ll be staying in the same place the night before the wedding so he can familiarise himself with everything, and he’ll have a phone etc. I would obviously go back with him and make sure he’s settled and happy before returning to the do.

I admit it’s only the ‘anyone could have a key’ thing that makes me question it at all.

He's basically 14, plenty of kids will be left at home alone at that age

If you know he can handle being alone for that length of time then go for it

This was my thinking. In your own home, yes absolutely wouldn't have an issue with that but in an air bnb who you don't know has access to or what else it could be used for- absolutely not. I would take turns personally.