Ex introducing new woman too soon

[ridingitout]

I made the very difficult decision to end my marriage back in early December, we didn't officially tell anyone until after Christmas and spent it together for the children.
Dh has yet to move out as we need to sell the house first and have 3 young children.
2 weeks after we split he met someone else and they've been inseparable ever since, that's not my business but less than 2 months after we separated and before he's even moved out as he's got nowhere to go and he has no intention of going anywhere until the house is sold, he's introduced his new woman to the children already who have actually coped really well with everything that's going on.
I didn't know until they got home that they'd spent the day together and apparently went back to his parents for dinner.
I chose to end this marriage and I knew at one point or another there'd be new relationships for both of us but I don't think it is appropriate to weave this woman in so soon when he only has them alone on a Saturday because I work and rarely sees them in the week because he works all week and is with his new woman every evening so the children don't see a lot of him and already have so much change to adapt to.
I could never introduce someone so soon and think it's really inappropriate that he has.

Obviously, it is poor parenting and completely inappropriate and not at all fair on your DC who have enough to process. But sadly UK law doesn't protect DC from this so you can't prevent it from happening.

Yes, his behaviour is idiotic, the relationship could be over within a few months. However, as much as this is infuriating, it's not something that is within your control. The only thing you can control, is your reaction to it.

I would never do it but tbh I don't think your children care if it's a mate or a date of dad's because they're young. If you don't make a big deal of it they will be fine.

I think it's terrible parenting on his part. You all still live in the family home. It's one thing for him to go off and spend the day with an OW - which is what she is as you are married. But it is quite another for him to introduce the kids to her and do family activities with her whilst you are still living as a family.

Honestly, this sounds a bit like rewriting history to make your decision to leave seem less "selfish".
If a man wrote something similar in your shoes the whole forum would be saying he' clearly had an affair and was trying to justify it by saying the relationship was bad.

If you truly deliberately had children in a dead relationship to bring you back together then you haven't acted in their best interests either so I think it's better to make the best of what is happening rather than focus on what could be betterm

Goodness me, not this old chestnut again.

Why so judgemental? I had children. I was unhappy in my marriage but I stayed married because I realise not everything is rosy behind closed doors. I thought I’d wait until the children were grown up to lead my own life as I put them first! Anyway the decision to split was made for me in the end as he cheated.
when you’re going through separation it’s so hard, especially when there’s a new partner who makes you feel to have low self esteem, not pretty enough, not good enough etc, I think it’s easy for those who have found happiness post divorce to forget how hard it is when you’re in it.

And everything I’ve read or heard tells you to deal with these emotions before moving on.
I bet your ex will be putting the breakup behind him by finding a new interest but surely he’ll hurt at some point.
children just judge people on who gives them attention, they don’t understand. I think your ex is daft for moving on so quickly and I sympathise with you.

It’s obviously better to move slower and with more consideration than mindless haste but it’s done now. You got what you wanted and have dumped him, he’s got what he wants which is out of the marriage and with someone new. When you pull the plug as you did you can’t control what happens next. Hopefully school are keeping an eye on the kids and how they’re really doing.

OP describes the marriage as having been dead for at least 10 years. It’s widely known that having children can test even the strongest marriages, so I don’t understand why anyone thinks they can save a failed one.

MN really opens my eyes that men really can’t be alone and some women desperately jump into fast relationships. Ick.