to ask for your ideas helping my ambitiously inventive/aspiring mechanic son

[babystep]

10yo DS is always coming up with ambitious ideas for inventions - dynamo powered motorbikes, perpetual motion machines. He has a strong urge to create and invent - specifically mechanical, electrical type stuff, usually vehicles in some way and usually sustainably powered.

For his last birthday he asked for a "tinker set" to enable him to create stuff - very specifically he did not want a child's set but proper tools. More recently he decided he wants to build a motorbike from scratch as precursor to building this dynamo one he has got in his mind.

This is all great, except of course he doesn't remotely have the skills to do this, Nor do me or DH. And I have no idea how to help him build skills in this area which obviously interests him. This is partly because while he is very creative and ambitious in his ideas he is also very averse to any kind of kit, class, book or show which might help him learn.

When we bought him some scaled down real tools (advertised as women's tools on amazon 😂) for birthday we also got a lot of STEM kids - solar powered robtos, that kind of thing. But he never finishes them - gets fed up if one thing foes wrong or starts, gets distracted, forgets. He never even enjoyed lego when younger as disliked following instructions. Offered to get him one or two Mark Rober kits as his brother enjoys them, but he was vague and I'm loathe to keep spending money on vague.

He imagines he can just pick up some tools, open the shed and make something. Great, that's the innocence of kids, right, But then he gets upset when say "we can't just buy some parts and make a motorbike" as he clearly feels we SHOULD be able to bridge this gap with him. For example he thinks my DH must know about motorbikes because "daddy went to university, right"?

DS is bright, enjoys science at school, I'm not exactly losing sleep over all this, because I know ultimately he's ten and if he does want to be an engineer or mechanic he'll eventually work out he needs to learn it in some way that he possibly finds boring.
But would love ideas of where you actually begin to learn these kind of skills and whether I can help him in an age-appropriate way to be able to build things and develop his interests?

he is also very averse to any kind of kit, class, book or show which might help him learn

I think you'll struggle as long as he keeps up with this attitude. At ten, though, he is old enough to hear the truth i.e. if you want to be able to do this stuff you have to put some effort in.

If you have a friend of a friend who's a mechanic or a friendly local garage owner you could take him down to ask some questions and they can explain how they learnt to do these things. You could also look at the Little People, Big Dreams series of books to understand the background of people who create these sorts of things.

In the meantime, get him some Lego (maybe the technic stuff), but not a set and let him build from his imagination. Buy him an old bike and let him take it apart and rebuild it. Give him any old electricals you have to dismantle and reuse the pieces (nothing dangerous obviously). Get some junk modelling stuff and let him produce some prototypes for his ideas.

I would get him to write to Sir James Dyson. He has an engineering school and may have some positive suggestions and be interested in nurturing him.

YouTube videos?

No matter what he wants to do in life, there will be some form of assessment. A lot of intelligent people struggle with learning because they instinctively know so much without even trying. The sooner you can effectively teach him how to learn the better.

Buy him an old bike and let him take it apart and rebuild it. Give him any old electricals you have to dismantle and reuse the pieces (nothing dangerous obviously). Get some junk modelling stuff and let him produce some prototypes for his ideas

@NuffSaidSam I think this may be part of my challenge. I have no idea what I could give him in terms of an old electrical to dismantle and reuse. What is not dangerous?

I totally agree he needs to grasp that there is effort behind this kind of thing. I have told him that. And we could force the point by insisting he completes the kits he has begun, but we already do the 'you need effort to succeed' stuff with music practice and homework. I think he does get from music especially that the dull grind of learning can pay off with real satisfaction in your achievements

I don't feel like I want another area where I'm forcing him, I want to try and capture his interest more naturally if that makes sense?

I think the idea of giving him parts to play with is great - thats kind of what he asks for - but I don't know where to begin with it all

perhaps my question is how I help him to learn something which I never learnt myself , and in a way which suits him not me?
If I have ever needed or wanted to learn something practical I love a good kit or a book of instructions. But clearly those things don't quite work for him.

Meccano? Technic lego? K'nex? My son made some amazing stuff from K'nex that wasn't in the instructions.... maybe I shouldn't mention the machine gun!!!!

DC’s school take part in a national electric car competition. They basically build an electric car at school, then I think there is a day they all trundle off with their cars to a track and race them. Note I THINK this is what they do - neither have mine have shown any interest in it, but I’m told the kids who do it, love it. Looks like it’s secondary school only though which won’t help your DS at the moment, but maybe see if you can find anything similar?

www.schoolscience.co.uk/thegreenpowerchallenge

Thanks @edwinbear I shall take a look through that website!

https://www.greenpower.co.uk/greenpower-categories

Formula ‘Goblin’ is age 9-11 by the looks of it 😁

this would be perfect, if I can either convince the school to do it or find a cheaper one on Vinted...
(I do think this would be great and also gives me an an idea of what is out there)

If you dont want to keep spending lots of money on kits and activities, lots of the UK engineering institutions have free resources available on their websites as well as various annual challenges he could get involved with.

Eg.
https://www.imeche.org/careers-education/supporting-teachers/resources-and-activities

https://education.theiet.org/

Perhaps your son might like the tv show "Wheeler Dealers" (it's the mechanical equivalent of homes under the hammer where they buy a clapped out banger, fix it up and re-sell for a profit. You see Ed (a very competent mechanic) take things apart and out them back together again and explain what he is doing and why.

There is an annual "Engineering Open House" thing each year too. I can't remember when it runs, but lots of universities and engineering/tech firms open their doors to the public so you could see if there is anything near you running something you could go along to see.

You could see if there are any robotics or 'maker' clubs in your area which take kids his age.

I think he's at a frustrating age where he doesn't yet have the theoretical knowledge and practical skills yet to fulfil his ideas, or accurately assess their reality. (Spoiler alert... the perpetual motion machine ain't going to happen!).

Appropriate kits really can help him develop the practical skills - I think my DD was 11 or 12 when we got her a soldering iron, and kits that needed soldering not just the click together stuff. Then she did gcse electronics so by the time she was 16 she was able to design robots, either using microcontrollers or (more challenging) from scratch with basic components.

It won't be too long till your son is at secondary school, hopefully he'll be able to go to one with tech facilities.

If you have a UTC (University Training College - a secondary school specialising in engineering and based on projects and employer input) near you he might be able to join them in Year 9. They run a full curriculum so he would get GCSEs and be set up for engineering as an apprentice or university course.

They are likely to have information on how to get in so he has something to work towards. As a PP said, the Engineering Institutions have outreach programmes so you can try the IET, the Civil Engineers and the Royal Aeronautical Society if he likes planes.

Thank you this is really helpful, and the show sounds like a great idea for some family TV time

Get him an old child's bicycle and the Haynes manual on bike maintenance and then give him specific tasks to do e.g. tighten the chain, adjust the brakes, replace the tyres and inner tubes etc

At 10, with a manual, he should be able to work it out for himself if he is keen.

I am not mechanical at all, but during lockdown, I taught myself to service a mountain bike this way.

This reminds me of my DS, now an engineer. He had a Haynes model engine as a Christmas present and quickly built it when he was 9.At about aged 10 he wanted an old petrol lawnmower he saw advertised locally. It wasn't working but he stripped the engine down, cleaned and fixed it and got it going again. He fixed a few more over the next few years and sold them on. He was helped at times by his mechanically minded Dad.

These are all great suggestions, but also wanted to suggest Saturday Club when he's older. There are a lot of engineering options and he'll meet like minded kids.

Do you have a science, engineering or transport museum near you? They sometimes run summer holiday clubs or workshops for secondary age children, so he could join in in a year or two.

Maybe go to your local tip and see if there's anything he could take to bits?

What about buying him something broken to fix, from ebay as "spares and repairs", you could get anything, even if he can't fix it he could work on diagnosing the problem.

What about faulty console xbox/playstation controllers, if he already has access to one of those consoles at home. He can use the ifixit website to work out the problem and buy some parts and tools required to perform a repair. Other parts you can get on amazon and ebay, again you could let him source the part via online research.

An example repair:
https://www.ifixit.com/Guide/Xbox+Series+X%7CS+Controller+(Model+1914)+Back+Housing+Replacement/160496

Sounds interesting to be honest and you sound like a great parent going out your way to thoughtfully help him.

Do you have a Repair Cafe locally? https://www.repaircafe.org/en/

Its where people with broken stuff are matched with a skilled volunteer to troubleshoot and repair.

He might be able to hang out there and meet some mechanically minded folk.

Hmmm tricky! I see the issue! But he sounds amazing. My brother was a bit like this as a child, he once took our (working!) TV apart - no permission sought and the whole family was annoyed with him when we wanted to watch TV and found it in pieces! But he put it back together again super quickly. He said he just wanted to see how it worked 🤣

Have you come across learning styles? I didn’t really realise different people learned in different ways until coming across this idea as a post grad… your son sounds like a “kinaesthetic learner” who basically wants to learn “on the job” by actually doing practical stuff rather than read or listen to theory or even watch someone demonstrate it.

Some of how you described your son sounds like he may have ADHD traits and it’s worth knowing that there is an association for ADHD with this learning style.

Really ideally you need to make friends with a mechanic or something! Genuinely it’s worth asking around in your community as to whether there is anyone with these skills who would be willing to advise you on what to get for him that is safe and realistic at this age, and ideally even do a few practical sessions with him, you could offer to pay them as a tutor. You might even find a tutor locally online who is able to support this sort of thing if you know what to search for? I think not quite engineering or mechanics exactly or at least not the academic aspects of it… the right YouTuber might be helpful too!

Is he dead set on a motorbike specifically?! A motorbike feels like a really big project to me (and expensive!) but what do I know, it may well be possible if someone with these skills right knowledge can advise! I think it’s really sweet that he thinks his mum and dad must surely know how to put together a motorbike from scratch having gone to uni 🤣🤣 Bless him! I hope you find a way to encourage him with this interest.

Wow thank you all for some really great ideas and resources - and for understanding the challenge!

@ErrolTheDragon ha yes he didn't actually describe it as a perpetual motion machine, he was discussing it as some kind of transportation device that would just keep going but when he described the mechanism my 12yo said "...a perpetual motion machine?! Yup that's impossible, dumb dumb..." and they proceeded to have an argument about it. Gotta love siblings for trampling on your dreams.

Please watch Sara Davies's new show The Big Idea Works. She takes ideas from the public and turns them into workable products.

Is he dead set on a motorbike specifically?! A motorbike feels like a really big project to me (and expensive!) but what do I know, it may well be possible if someone with these skills right knowledge can advise! I think it’s really sweet that he thinks his mum and dad must surely know how to put together a motorbike from scratch having gone to uni 🤣🤣 Bless him! I hope you find a way to encourage him with this interest.

Yes it made me smile when he said that, and then also feel bad that I am letting him down with my useless social science degree 😂It's any mode of transport really that fascinates him - thanks to ideas on this thread I've found a few things which might help him get a sense of achievement and build some skills so one can one day actually build a motorbike, if he still wants to!

I've never thought of him as having ADHD traits, but definitely you're right he likes to learn by doing, and is pretty good at it in other areas like music or sports. But with STEM/engineering it's hard to give him that scope to 'do' in a way he finds worthwhile

thank you! I'm also always on the lookout for shows or youtubers who might tempt him away from the gaming ones for a bit.

My son was the same. Some of his ideas: a meat tenderiser made from the trunk of a Christmas tree; a go cart made from the motor from a washing machine; a petrol driven music keyboard. Never finished anything. Wouldn't take instruction.

He's now 19 and studying for an MEng in mechanical engineering at a good university. He loves his course and is doing well.

Try not to be anxious and controlling about your child's special interests. Let him experiment in his own chaotic way. That's what childhood is for. If he get's frustrated that's ok too, it's all part of the learning process.