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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want to feel ‘sexy’?

2 replies

Leeeea · 24/02/2025 21:13

I have a 3yo and 1yo (next week turns 1) and 2nd time round I struggled I was depressed and my youngest has been quite clingy and me and DH have been apart.

We’ve had no alone time and I can see in this year we’ve bickered more resented eachother more etc. we’re apart in a sense but living together. Both willing to work on it now

But with this and me breastfeeding last year, I lost my sex drive until December time I’d say? I stopped Bf in August but it was now My period returned and it felt my hormones did !

However, I still felt a bit of a shell of a person. Wasn’t looking after myself. My kids got everything new and I was looking like an awful version of me tbh! No new stuff no self care.

I am working on this.

I don’t know why but I’ve always , growing up too, had a bit of shame towards being sexual? So much so I didn’t do anything with boys growing up I thought it was wrong if I did. DH is the only man I’ve ever been with and I met him at 21. So I’m a bit of a prude maybe. Having sex is a different story I feel bit more confident then.

but we haven’t had sexfor a little bit. Bit of a dry spell. My confidence is gone and I just want to feel sexy and young. I’m only 25! (I do turn 26 really soon too) but yeah I just want to feel sexy and pretty and a bit more young!

I feel old haggard and just wonder am I done for sex wise

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 25/02/2025 08:02

You need to spend time on yourself, which is hard with little ones.
Start off with some self care, so a haircut, good skin routine etc. Have a look in your wardrobe and see what can be thrown out and what needs buying. Can you have DH watch the kids while you go to an exercise class regularly?
Self care is what you need, and it doesn’t need to cost a lot.

Leeeea · 25/02/2025 11:05

DustyLee123 · 25/02/2025 08:02

You need to spend time on yourself, which is hard with little ones.
Start off with some self care, so a haircut, good skin routine etc. Have a look in your wardrobe and see what can be thrown out and what needs buying. Can you have DH watch the kids while you go to an exercise class regularly?
Self care is what you need, and it doesn’t need to cost a lot.

Thanks. He probably could now our youngest is a bit better about me going out, she used to just scream when I left ! Haha

But yes my skin gets me down , wardrobe improving but I just spend my money on the kids and leave myself not enough to buy me stuff really but I think I need to because a part of it is me losing my identity

OP posts:
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