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Original poster

Boyfriends birthday

7 replies

DaisyLou33 · 24/02/2025 20:34

It's my long term bfs birthday today. I have a 5 and 7 year old that adore him. I asked him last night if we could factime him quickly before work, just so they could say happy birthday. He said of course. As he finishes after they go to bed.

He starts at half 8 and gets up at half 5 everyday. I text at half 6 and then tried ringing at half 7 and then 8. He ignored it all. Didn't text until later at work.

I know it's his birthday and about him, not us but the kids were disappointed. And I do feel a bit hurt inside he didn't want to speak to us. He said he just forgot to text back/didn't see the calls.

OP posts:
Squiggles23 · 24/02/2025 23:31

I would let it go, mornings are busy and maybe he just didn’t feel like it. In this case he’s not really letting them down (in the same way as if it was one of the kids bdays and said he would call and didn’t).

Mayne next time record a message for him?

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 24/02/2025 23:52

You're right when you say he didn't want to speak to you - if he had wanted to, he would have. It's quite simple.

How long have you been together?

loropianalover · 25/02/2025 00:58

And I do feel a bit hurt inside he didn't want to speak to us

But he didn’t see the calls? He responded later when he was able. He didn’t not want to speak to you.

Early mornings while getting ready for work/the day is not the ideal time to be jumping on the phone for a FaceTime. Next time just record a video message from the kids to him, he can send one back saying thank you in the evening.

Lurkingandlearning · 25/02/2025 02:33

What you and your children suggested was sweet, a nice thing for him. If it was impractical he should've told you, not disappointed them. Having agreed to take a call from them before he went to work, he should've seen the calls because should've been expecting and looking out for them.

If he can't stick to an arrangement that would take 30 seconds, I would dial back on his involvement with your children. But then I would be dialling back on my involvement with him. For me to have a close relationship with someone I need them to say what they mean and do what they say. The world is full of flaky fuckers. I don't have to be up close and personal with one.

notatinydancer · 25/02/2025 10:32

loropianalover · 25/02/2025 00:58

And I do feel a bit hurt inside he didn't want to speak to us

But he didn’t see the calls? He responded later when he was able. He didn’t not want to speak to you.

Early mornings while getting ready for work/the day is not the ideal time to be jumping on the phone for a FaceTime. Next time just record a video message from the kids to him, he can send one back saying thank you in the evening.

Of course he saw them.

SunshineAndFizz · 25/02/2025 10:34

loropianalover · 25/02/2025 00:58

And I do feel a bit hurt inside he didn't want to speak to us

But he didn’t see the calls? He responded later when he was able. He didn’t not want to speak to you.

Early mornings while getting ready for work/the day is not the ideal time to be jumping on the phone for a FaceTime. Next time just record a video message from the kids to him, he can send one back saying thank you in the evening.

Who doesn't look at their phone for 2 hours. He saw.

Shoxfordian · 25/02/2025 10:36

He didn't forget, he's just not that bothered about disappointing you

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