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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To report my sons dad for drug driving a lorry

21 replies

thecherryfox · 24/02/2025 18:09

My son’s dad has recently got a job as a lorry driver. It’s known he smokes cannabis daily and does harder stuff basically every weekend. I don’t know if lorry drivers get drug tests, but in family court he dyed his hair to try and warp the test and still failed (but it was a lower amount than what it was prior to him dying it). I just don’t think it’s safe for him to have a career operating machinery where other people’s lives can be at risk with him being highly intoxicated. And before people say ‘what proof’, he’s been smoking daily since he was 13 years old. I know his upstairs neighbour who says that he gets a whift on his balcony every evening of my ex smoking weed as it rises up onto my friends balcony. My child’s clothes come back stinking of it every weekend and he ‘accidentally’ left a baggie with it in in my sons bag one weekend.

He doesn’t work weekends so I think he refrains from doing the harder stuff whilst at work but he literally cannot go a few hours without the ‘green’ so I wouldn’t put it past him to be doing it whilst working. I’ve always turned a blind eye to things that are not my business but I cannot just sit here knowing people can be in danger surrounding him. I just have a bad feeling as he’s someone who’s always been enabled and got away with things and I feel like this would be the reason he doesn’t, because it won’t end well - I have an awful sweaty sinking feeling about it all.

OP posts:
DoYouReally · 24/02/2025 18:14

Does he drive to collect or drop off your child? Or every drive with your child in the car.

If you allow that, then you're being vengeful about the job and it's not really about the safety of others.

ScreamingBeans · 24/02/2025 18:15

No.

It doesn't really matter if you report out of malice or because you're a responsible citizen.

He's a danger to other people, he could kill someone someone else loves.

BaronessBomburst · 24/02/2025 18:19

Please do.
A 14 year-old girl local to me was killed cycling to school on the last day before the Christmas holidays.
The police investigation then uncovered a culture of drug abuse within the company, with drivers using amphetamines to get through the work load.

thecherryfox · 24/02/2025 18:31

DoYouReally · 24/02/2025 18:14

Does he drive to collect or drop off your child? Or every drive with your child in the car.

If you allow that, then you're being vengeful about the job and it's not really about the safety of others.

“Allow it”. He’s a narcissist and if anyone else has been abused and taken to court by an abusive narcissist - you know how much they get enabled. Unfortunately we have a court order where the drug issues where there in black and white with the drug test reports and the courts said as long as he doesn’t use around our child then it’s irrelevant. So he does drive our child, I cannot do anything about that as court order is meet in a public place. It’s an entirely different topic in itself.

OP posts:
Daleksatemyshed · 24/02/2025 18:31

If he was drinking and driving you'd report him, drugs are no different, he's still breaking the law

JohnofWessex · 24/02/2025 18:33

Report

thecherryfox · 24/02/2025 18:34

BaronessBomburst · 24/02/2025 18:19

Please do.
A 14 year-old girl local to me was killed cycling to school on the last day before the Christmas holidays.
The police investigation then uncovered a culture of drug abuse within the company, with drivers using amphetamines to get through the work load.

I think this reply solidified my reason as to why I need to report. Thank you for sharing. I cannot imagine anything going wrong and people getting hurt and me knowing I could have done something to stop it. That’s awful that can happen, you always assume that in jobs like that it’s regular drug testings, or the very least spot checks - but when it’s imbedded in the entire company it’s just scary. What a horrible world we live in where people are so selfish

OP posts:
Dragonstar · 24/02/2025 18:36

Report please.
There was a poor person knocked over in our town by a drug driver. She has life changing injuries and is lucky to be alive.

Meadowfinch · 24/02/2025 18:37

Always report drug drivers, the same as drunk drivers.

If he kills someone (including your child) you'll never forgive yourself.

Thedogscollar · 24/02/2025 18:38

Of course you report him.
My husband is an HGV driver they aren't routinely tested for drugs but he can be pulled over by DVLA inspectors or the police at any point whilst he is out driving.
They are professional drivers and your ex needs reporting at the earliest opportunity. He could kill others, these 40 tonne lorries need someone sensible behind the wheel not some drug added loser.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 24/02/2025 18:50

DoYouReally · 24/02/2025 18:14

Does he drive to collect or drop off your child? Or every drive with your child in the car.

If you allow that, then you're being vengeful about the job and it's not really about the safety of others.

No, this is even MORE reason to report..! It's not 'vengeful' to want to avoid criminal behaviour, ffs...🤦‍♀️

RaininSummer · 24/02/2025 19:08

Oh my goodness please report before some poor soul is injured or killed by him.

couldabutdidnt · 24/02/2025 19:12

Absolutely report it. Otherwise you are complicit in anything he does and I wouldn’t want that on my conscience.

mjf981 · 24/02/2025 19:18

What will happen if you do report it?
Will the police make him do a drug test (doubt it without evidence). Will it just get 'lodged'? Im not sure anything will actually happen. Does anyone know?

JohnofWessex · 24/02/2025 21:28

I suspect that they will put a marker on his vehicle for a stop

I believe in some cases they do go out looking for drunk/drug/disqualified drivers if they have enough information

BrieAndChilli · 24/02/2025 21:36

Literally a couple of weeks ago in our town a poor woman was knocked over on a zebra crossing by a van/lorry who’s driver was on drugs.
she was critical but will survive. It was the crossing outside the secondary school - less than an hour later it would have been full of kids crossing for school.

regardless of your reasoning for wanting to get your ex in to trouble i would report. Eother to the police woth details of what he drives and when/where or anonymously ro his employer so that can do a random drug test.

ChoccieCornflake · 24/02/2025 21:36

please report him. You could report your suspicions to the police when he's due to be driving your child too - hopefully they will stop and test him

TY78910 · 24/02/2025 21:44

I think you could report anonymously so he can't try and inconvenience your life

Velvian · 24/02/2025 21:49

You should report suspected drug driving to the police when he is driving your child too. My DF did this for her child's dad as she was so worried for her child. Totally separate to family court, doesn't matter what they have said.

Endofyear · 24/02/2025 22:55

Yes please do report him. You'd never forgive yourself if he killed or injured someone.

Lassango · 24/02/2025 22:59

He needs to be reported soon.

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