DS has never bought me a birthday card

[Thirl123]

It's my birthday today and feeling sorry for myself as yet again my 26 year old DS has not remembered it. He is currently out of the country with mates. He does have a type of spacial dyslexia but here's the thing, he never forgets his mates birthdays! Should I not worry as he does give me the occasional hug when he's around? I guess my DH and DD should remind him but they haven't bothered this year.

Happy Birthday, you deserve better x

An occasional hug now and then doesn’t make up for crap behaviour. I’m only a few years older than him and I’ve never forgotten my mums birthday. You should tell him how it makes you feel.

and happy birthday!

He needs to try harder . Happy birthday to u x

Happy birthday!

I think you need to train him. Tell him this year how much it stings that he hasn't gotten you anything, he's an adult and you expect it next year. Then next year start dropping loud hints about your upcoming birthday and go 'oh, remember how you didn't get me one last year? Better not make that mistake again 😂'

To be honest, I'm not sure anyone under 40 sends birthday cards any more. I'm an oldie, and I do, but I think it's very much an old-fashioned thing.

Tell him cards are important to you and you want him to get you one on your birthdays. It's not your husband or daughters place to prompt an adult.

What would you worry about, as you mentioned this in your post?

Personally I don't get anyone cards, I don't understand the point of them.

Happy birthday.

He just doesn't make the effort to mark it in his calendar

Next time on his birthday, don't send him a card, if he asks, tell him, you forgot and didn't think cards or birthday acknowledgement were important to him, the feeling isn't nice.

When my 18 year old didn't buy me a card last year I told him how upset I was, that it was a complete lack of effort and not what I expected of him.
I got a card and flowers this year. Sometimes they just need reminding.

It's not your daughter or husband's job to remind a 26 year old man about his mum's birthday so don't put that at their door. Has he said happy birthday and just not got you a card or has he not acknowledged it at all? Cards are generally out of fashion with that age group but takes two seconds to text your mum happy birthday.

Don't blame your DH or DD for not reminding him. He is a grown adult and needs to manage his own stuff.

Tell him that it upsets you that he doesn't make the effort. He may not realise that you care.

This. They won’t magically do it unless you tell them what it means to you.

All of my young adult children send cards. I think lazy people use this ‘no one sends cards anymore’ excuse because it’s all too much effort. If it were true, there wouldn’t be so many card shops.

Good for you. It doesn't hurt to remind them Mum is a special person with feelings too.

I was going to say you were being unreasonable expecting a birthday card, because not everyone sends birthday cards. My grown children don't send me birthday cards, and I don't expect them to. But that's not really the issue, is it? It's the fact that he forgot your birthday entirely. That's very hurtful, and I think you would be reasonable to tell him how much that hurts your feelings and to make an effort to remember and acknowledge it in the future. (Maybe suggest a reminder on his phone.) I would at the very least expect a call or text if you're not together in person.

I guess my DH and DD should remind him but they haven't bothered this year.
It is not on his sister to remind him. His father could though.

I imagine you’ve sat quietly and not had a proper chat with any of them about how it truly makes you feel? That needs to change.

Happy Birthday!

If he never sends one, I think you either need to stop expecting one or just send him a text ‘hey, how’s the trip going? It’s my birthday today!’

I really don’t think this means he doesn’t love you which is the most important thing.