Lone parents with two children and parties

[UniqueMaker]

I was wondering what's the etiquette with having a single parent with two children, no support and birthday parties?

In short I've just had a rant by another single mum because I said some parties the siblings aren't invited.

I personally don't think anyone has responsibility for anyone's lack of support and neither should they have to invite both siblings to a party, even if parent pays.

@UniqueMaker well I guess I'd just like to know in advance really.

I am a single parent and I think she's entitled. If I couldn't get a friend's parent to take my invited child, or get a playdate for my not invited child, I'd tell the party parents the situation and offer to pay for non invited child to come in (if eg soft play) and keep them well clear of party food etc. My personal situation is not the party parents' problem to solve.

The other single parents I know did likewise - it was always the two parent families who seemed to take the piss bringing uninvited siblings, one family in particular who always did it despite having 2 parents and 3 teenage sibs at home to help and always expected a party bag and cake for uninvited siblings. Some people are just entitled and thoughtless, whatever their family make up.

I guess if you expect a parent to stay you need to make allowances, even if that allowance is to allow the parent to drop and run

My kids have been trained to know that they can’t have a party bag at the other siblings friends parties.
even if it’s a party where it would be ok to attend with a sibling.

I coach them before each party.
they know to share - and do.

also. If it is activity then it can be a drop off party.

and also for pre drop off party age o think it’s pretty nice/community minded to be generous with the siblings, these families might be part of your network for the next 7/13 years and these early parties are a way to find your adult local pals

I'm not a single parent but my husband works most Saturdays and most parties fall on a Saturday so if one child gets a party invitation I will text back
Hi thanks for so and so's invitation but unfortunately they won't be able to make it as Dh is working that day so I have both dc.

I usually get a text back saying bring them too but if I didn't that would be fine as I'm not expecting anything.
They are only a year apart though so all know each other at school but maybe different if they were a lot younger and the party not aimed at their age range.

I don't know why she jumped to the conclusion that I wouldn't allow a sibling.

She's just annoyed me but she's not that pleasant to be around anyway

I think she's very rude!

I'm not a single parent but have had a party invite for my eldest when my husband was away and just sent a pleasant message saying "X would love to come but I'm afraid DH is away so would it be ok if I also brought Y?" and they said yes that's fine, thanks for letting us know!

The only birthday party we've hosted so far though was a bouncy castle in a church hall so we just outright invited the little siblings as well.

If it’s soft play I always paid for my other child and they just played whilst the party child went to the party. I haven’t been to a soft play party where they’ve hired the whole venue though. Thankfully mine are too old for all this now!

We had a party in a hall for DC and we had a couple of parents bring siblings. Only one asked if it was ok, I just said you’re welcome to drop and go or bring siblings, the sib was under 2 so not a massive issue.

One of the siblings was only a year or 2 older and as a new class I didn’t know all the children so I just assumed she was in DC class. She got involved with the games and won a pass the parcel. I was quite annoyed when I found out, no issue with her playing but just pass to another child if you win! She also took a party bag.

if a soft play or ticket thing I would just message and say I need to bring siblings but will pay for them etc and not expect any party food or bags.

What if it was a home party. Would you expect all siblings to come?

For us, parties didn't tend to start till school age, by which point surely the vast majority of parents and children are happy to drop and leave.
If for some reason I had to stay and couldn't arrange someone to have my other child for a couple of hours, I would contact the host beforehand and explain and ask if they could stay too - offering to pay for them if it was a pay per head sort of party.

I think it's entitlement from selfish individuals rather than circumstances more often than not. It is people with the easier life that impose their uninvited family on the host, bring the cheapest and most awkward present, and never ask the host to their parties. And do it again and again.
They typically only do it to people they despise and hardly ever to people they need for their social climbing.

No. Home could have been specifically chosen for a smaller amount of people. Who the hell wants a lot of people they don't know in their space.
Home should be completely drop off and piss off.

IME people just ask if they can bring the sibling or can someone take or watch their kid. It's never been any drama. I hated it when kids went from big hall parties where it was easy to accommodate siblings to pay per head activities where even if they paid there wasn't room or height/ age restrictions. That said, we always both accommodated and have been accommodated with sharing taking kids and watching them.