My 5-year-old daughter (ASD, possibly ADHD) and my 2-year-old have been on half-term break, and I’ve been trying to keep them busy. We’ve done lots of learning activities ( guilt shes behind in school) and trips to the park, but she gets bored easily. I don’t have family around, and I don’t drive. I also fell down the stairs, which hasn’t helped.
My husband took annual leave so I could attend a two-day autism workshop. It was useful, but it feels like wasted leave, and I feel so guilty that I haven’t taken them to museums or anywhere special ( expensive to book any days out) . We don’t have many friends, and every day my daughter talks about school and how she wants more friends. She’s had a couple of playdates, but everyone is busy.
I feel like I should be doing more. I’m trying. I feel guilty for letting them watch too much TV. My dad passed away suddenly a year ago—he was a huge help with the kids. I feel exhausted from sleepless nights. I used to do more before. I’m tired from listening to my daughter all day, the constant energy, cleaning, tidying. Half-term is over now, and we’re back to school—the same old routine. The weekends are too full to even plan a museum trip, and even then, a museum wouldn’t really fit her interests ( she would get fed up, have to keep her entertained all thr time). The whole day would have to be planned around her needs ( its just too much)
I love my kids so much. I’m constantly researching, learning, and listening to them, trying to be better. But just now, I lost it when she kept repeating comments about how big my arms are. I know I’m overweight. I need to lose it so I can have more energy and be a better parent. ( i have told her many times not to say this, i have also tried brushing her comments off) I ended up getting angry.
thank you for reading