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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know how to fit everything in?

16 replies

cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 11:56

I am struggling to fit everything in as my children get older and get more homework.

DC1 has spelling homework plus either maths or general homework every week. Also reading at least 3x per week.

DC2 has reading 3x a week. We are supposed to do maths practice daily and writing practice 3x a week - I am struggling to fit this in, we don’t have to hand anything in.

I work mostly full time and am out of the house 7.45am - 6pm Mondays and Tuesdays. Their dad does school drop off these days, and pick up on Monday then my mum picks up on Tuesday. I work from home the rest of the week and do most of the school runs.

DC1 has swimming on Monday and maths tutoring (he needs it) on Tuesday. Wednesday DC2 has beavers. Thursday they go to after school club. At the moment i try to make sure DC1 does all his homework on the weekends I have them and on Wednesdays/Thursdays. I struggle to fit the extra bits for DC2 on in the other days. They go to their dad’s every other weekend and he won’t do homework with them (at least not to a good standard) but will read with DC2.

Does anyone have a structure/schedule to fit everything in. It is hard when every day is different. I would like them to do more extra curriculars too but I don’t see how we can fit it all in. We have parents evening coming up and I know DC2 is behind with writing and I feel awful about it. Everyone else manages to do it so easily!

OP posts:
1AngelicFruitCake · 24/02/2025 11:58

I do little and often. If time in the morning do 10 minutes there, immediately after tea or before we go to a club.

1AngelicFruitCake · 24/02/2025 11:59

Could you do your younger one during eldest swimming lesson?

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/02/2025 12:12

What happens Weds, Thurs, Fri between 3:30 and 6pm? Mine does all the stuff he can do independently then.

We were having the same problems as you. Evening activities most nights between say 6 and 8pm. Pretty much only left time for dinner, bath and bed afterwards. But mine went to after school club every day and hated it. So we made a deal that he could ditch it if he came home and did homework before anything else. Total game changer. He just deals with it now and ticks it off when completed.

Original poster
cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 12:57

1AngelicFruitCake · 24/02/2025 11:59

Could you do your younger one during eldest swimming lesson?

No, their dad takes them to the swimming lesson as I'm in the office that day and he won't do homework with them really.

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 13:03

Ablondiebutagoody · 24/02/2025 12:12

What happens Weds, Thurs, Fri between 3:30 and 6pm? Mine does all the stuff he can do independently then.

We were having the same problems as you. Evening activities most nights between say 6 and 8pm. Pretty much only left time for dinner, bath and bed afterwards. But mine went to after school club every day and hated it. So we made a deal that he could ditch it if he came home and did homework before anything else. Total game changer. He just deals with it now and ticks it off when completed.

Wednesday I am working til 5 then we have dinner and either me or mum will take dc2 to beavers. The other one stays behind with dc1 and usually we fit some homework in then.

Thursday they go to after school club. I have said to dc1 he can ditch it if he can walk home by himself. It is a good idea to say he needs to get homework done in that time though, thanks. I could do some homework with dc2 after. Their dad comes over so it is a free night for me, so I sometimes go out but I can fit a bit in before I go.

Every other Fridays are free too. This is a good point, as they don't like to do homework on a Friday but I think I will have to fit that in on the Fridays I have them.

The 10 minute thing could work too

OP posts:
Dancingatthepinkponyclub · 24/02/2025 13:03

cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 12:57

No, their dad takes them to the swimming lesson as I'm in the office that day and he won't do homework with them really.

Show quote history

Well he’s the issue! Why won’t he do homework with them? Stress the importance!!

TickingAlongNicely · 24/02/2025 13:09

We used to do things like the times table and spelling practice in the car or walk to school. They read to each other as well (in addition to reading to adults!)

DelphiniumBlue · 24/02/2025 13:16

Yes, practice tables and spellings in the car. Ask the tutor to go through the maths homework . Get them to practice independently using something like TimesTablesRock Stars . They really should be able to do homework without your assistance, it’s always based around what they have already done in class. If they are at AfterSchoool Club, ask if they can do it there.

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 24/02/2025 13:25

My kids lessons are staggered due to their ages so I do homework with one while the other is in the club then swap over.

Spellings I write in a notebook each night and then DC1 writes them out 3 times each morning while I make breakfast.

Times tables we practice in the car on the way to places.

Reading is before bed.

ellesbellesxxx · 24/02/2025 13:27

We go through the spellings at the weekend (they get handed out on Friday) so I am happy they know the meanings of each word then I ask them to practise the spellings first thing. We also do reading first thing on our busy day.
DD plays the piano so she usually does her practice when we get home and I am making dinner.
We are trying to fit in more handwriting but inevitably it’s at the weekend.
Times tables is usually in the car.
It’s so tricky, I hear you.

rhubarb84 · 24/02/2025 13:37

I manage by not bothering with primary homework.

At age 5/6 we did do the school reading books but stopped at soon as they were reading independently for pleasure.

We read to them and they read. That basically means their spelling is fine without needing extra practice.

Eldest has ADHD so getting him to sit down and do homework earlier on in primary was horrendous. So we just quietly stopped, with the tacit approval of the teachers.

I think homework is basically set to keep keen parents happy. We don't get any pushback from school if it isn't done.

Climpy · 24/02/2025 13:42

I don't think more extracurriculars would make anyone happier. There is only so much you can do logistically and they would probably benefit from time at home to just play too.

We tend to pivot everything round dinner. Spellings/writing either while I am cooking or in 10 mins after dinner while someone is clearing up. Homework Sunday mornings. Reading we only ever did at bedtime, which is not advised but worked out OK. We just did a little bit of them reading or turn taking, then read to them after.

Original poster
cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 15:17

Climpy · 24/02/2025 13:42

I don't think more extracurriculars would make anyone happier. There is only so much you can do logistically and they would probably benefit from time at home to just play too.

We tend to pivot everything round dinner. Spellings/writing either while I am cooking or in 10 mins after dinner while someone is clearing up. Homework Sunday mornings. Reading we only ever did at bedtime, which is not advised but worked out OK. We just did a little bit of them reading or turn taking, then read to them after.

Yes, it's not that my two are particularly keen on doing extra curriculars. They love their downtime.

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 15:19

They really should be able to do homework without your assistance, it’s always based around what they have already done in class. If they are at AfterSchoool Club, ask if they can do it there.

ASC definitely don't have the staff to instruct them / help them with homework. It's all very well saying they should be able to do it without help but someone has to remind them to do it. My 6 year old definitely still needs help. I remember needing help with homework at 11/12!

OP posts:
Original poster
cadburyegg · 24/02/2025 15:20

Well he’s the issue! Why won’t he do homework with them? Stress the importance!!

I've tried, believe me. It's just not an option, he's very difficult to co parent with. My life is less stressful (believe it or not) since I've accepted it.

OP posts:
crackofdoom · 24/02/2025 15:25

rhubarb84 · 24/02/2025 13:37

I manage by not bothering with primary homework.

At age 5/6 we did do the school reading books but stopped at soon as they were reading independently for pleasure.

We read to them and they read. That basically means their spelling is fine without needing extra practice.

Eldest has ADHD so getting him to sit down and do homework earlier on in primary was horrendous. So we just quietly stopped, with the tacit approval of the teachers.

I think homework is basically set to keep keen parents happy. We don't get any pushback from school if it isn't done.

I could not agree more. There's no clever hack to improving your situation (full time work, pretty much full time parenting, uncooperative ex), other than downing tools. Running yourself into the ground trying to parent as if you don't have a job and work as if you're not a single mum isn't going to benefit anyone in the long run. Fuck the homework. It's of questionable value in primary anyway.

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