To not go see my Mum

[sidsparrownew]

My Mum didn't bring me up but as adults we have formed a good relationship and I do very much care about her and love her. She lives in Australia and I in the UK. Recently she had a big operation and in recovery took a couple of mini strokes. After 2 weeks it seems her condition is getting worse and has stopped eating and not doing any physio. I think the hospital have her on too much medication but that's just a feeling. Her partner has asked me to go over and see her to help lift her spirits. And although I agree it would help it would mean leaving my 2 DC (5 and 7) for just over a week. I know DH will look after them and everyone will be fine, but I can't bear the thought of being so far away from them and for so long. I can barely manage a night away from them when I have gone to see friends.

I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. I do want to help but the whole thing is giving me major anxiety.

Oh and also I am 7 weeks pregnant. My last 2 pregnancies ended in miscarriage and I'm scared this one is going the same way. I have a scan on Thursday.

Should I go, or should I kindly refuse?

This too

Honestly, I'd depends how you'd feel if she died and you hadn't seen her. If you'd feel awful then go if you can.. personally, I wouldn't go

Given the risk of miscarriage I wouldn’t go. It sounds to me like your dm’s dp wants you to go, because it will cheer your mother up but what about you, your unborn baby, your young children at home and the stress on your entire family with you travelling so far?

I really wouldn’t want my DDs to do this for me. It’s much too far.

I don’t know the backstory (there is obviously an extensive one) but I want to say that I feel, unusually, that you need to be looked after right now, not guilted into travelling 25 hours away from your young children on the off chance your mother declines. It sounds like she is being well cared for, and has her dp to advocate for her.