To be cautious about texting married men?

[Thatsnotmynameee]

I was out with a friend last night and we bumped into her friend and his wife. It was the end of the night and we realised that I live very close to my friends friends (married couple) so we shared a taxi, me him and his wife. He asked for my number in the taxi so I could let him know I got home safe (taxi dropped me after them) he asked for this in front of his wife. I text him when I got in to say home, let me know how much I owe you guys for the taxi. He replied to say thanks, it would be good to catch up soon and put a kiss (I never put kisses to men in relationships) he then text me today to ask how something had gone that I mentioned I was doing this morning when we were chatting last night with my friend the four of us. He is 20 years older than me. I'm aware I'm probably overly cautious as I'm a single woman and he's a married man but I don't know??

I’d see a kiss on a text message as a sign of possible semi-literacy rather than an indication that a man the OP has met once is trying to infiltrate her knickers. Like emojis.

He's not semi literate. He's a bright, educated professional man.

But there's no reason for him to be in touch in the first place, so the kiss is immaterial.
Honestly, classic male entitlement and delusion for even assuming that the OP wants a man old enough to be her father to get in touch

Arghhhhh, runnnnn!

Hmmm at the moment I think there’s no reason to block or ignore. Some people treat kisses like full stops or a sign of friendliness. I would be on alert and if anything changes that makes his intentions clearer, you can act then.

He and his wife made friends with op, why wouldn’t you be in touch?

@greengreyblue

I think you're being a bit naive. Most men would leave it to their wives to get in touch.

He’s finding a reason to be in touch.

That’s how my partner snared me - but he isn’t married 😂

Yup, and if the OP entertains it, she won't be able to get shot of him with a shitty stick.

Maybe. But at the moment it’s all above board. Also he asked for her number in front of his wife. I think I’d reply and keep to the point , repay the money and see what happens. Not enough to go on for people to accuse and cast aspersions.

Ignore the message, don't respond, he wants a flirty text maybe?

And it’s the DH who is a friend of the OP’s friend, not his wife, if I’m reading the OP correctly. And the OP’s friend is female. Perhaps he belongs to the category of men who have entirely ordinary friendships with women.

Age has got nothing to do with it.

Newsflash. People don't have relationships only with people their own age.

We'll agree to disagree. I think it's overstepping and odd.
And I guess the OP felt sufficiently funny about it to post in the first place.

@PassingStranger

Ok, I have no idea how old you are, but I'm 50.
If I happened upon a friend of a friend, who was 30 years old, would I start randomly texting him?
No, because it's intrusive and weird.

Show me those men. If they're married and pursuing friendship with women, something is very off regards intent.

I'm not anti men at all. It's just helpful to know what one is dealing with.

OP, please update us in time, if you don't mind.
I'm curious to see how this pans out!
Stay safe x

DH has lots of female friends of various ages. He’s 52. My closest male friend is ten years older than I am. I met him in a former job, but another male friend was just a dad from DS’s primary school friendship group who texted out of the blue to see if DS and I wanted to climb a mountain with him and his DS on a bank holiday weekend. I was a bit surprised because we’d barely spoken that I could recall, but we went, and had a blast. The boys have drifted apart, years on, and he’s divorced, but we’re still friends. All I’m saying is that all friendships start somewhere.

@Watendlath oh you're totally right. My statements are very blanket and non nuanced.
Call me cynical, I'd be suspicious of intent ref every one of those guys you mention as your friends, not you, but the guys, yep.

Yeah it doesn't sit right with me but I didn't know if I was being overly cautious. I think as a single woman I'm always careful about these things.

Well, they’re playing a very long game, if their intentions are in any way sexual. Twenty years in one case. They’ve both been married, divorced, dating, now in new relationships, I’m happily married to the same man from well before I met either. And I’ve actually shared a hotel room with one of them, when a work transatlantic flight hit a blizzard, and was diverted, along with all the other flights. Not so much as a frisson!

Well, surely you can ask your friend about him? Surely she wouldn’t be friends with a sex pest?

They can often hide in plain sight.

OPs instincts are working well. She's listening. That's all she needs here; to act upon them appropriately.

He needs to do one, get to fook, or please depart kind sir. Whatever vernacular suits.

I guessing that OP posted because it feels awkward and is wondering whether she should reply so I would say yes, he has made it awkward for those reasons.