To be pissed at my Bf

[Patriciathestripper1]

I recently did a birthday party for my daughter (18) sent out invites and she invited lots of her school friends and I invited adults who know us well. Booked a room ordered loads of food, DJ everything. Literally over half the people didn’t turn up.
Luckily all her friends (bar two) came.
my best friend (or who I thought was my best friend) who told me two days before the party said she was coming and then didn’t show texting to say her back was sore and she didn’t feel like driving. She lives less than 10 mins away. Only two people out of the 10 I work with bothered to show. None of my neighbours came. It’s probably my fault as I thought I was more friendly with them than I obviously am as they didn’t bother to come but I at least expected my so called best friend to turn up. I honest feel like cutting ties with her after this as it’s not the first time she has let me down. So aibu for feeling like this? Should I call her and tell her how I feel Or should I just carry on as normal.

I think it's odd that you invited people from work and neighbours to your daughter's 18 - surely the most important thing is that her friends came and she had a good time? It's unfortunate that your friend hurt her back but you wanting to cut ties with her seems an over the top reaction.

I'd probably, under duress go to a relative's 18th. Can't think of much worse than hanging round with a bunch of teenagers.

Don't take it personally.

Sounds like you threw the party for yourself, not your daughter.

This kind of rude behaviour is extremely common nowadays so don't take it personally. But it might be better not to try again to collect a fairly disparate group of adults and teenagers for the same party because it is really disappointing to have it half empty.

I wouldn't go to a work colleague's or neighbour's teenager's birthday party either. Is that a thing where you are?
BF could have at least found a better excuse than 'can't be arsed'

Unless your work colleagues know your daughter well, then I am not sure why you invited them? The same applies to your neighbours, unless you're particularly close and they know you and your family well. Your best friend is a bit different, presumably she knows your daughter very well? Yes, I'd be a bit cheesed off to say the least but it's not worth losing a friendship over. Unfortunately, it seems common practice to be invited to a party/wedding, state that their coming and just not turn up. It's incredibly rude and disrespectful to the host. We had people not turn up to our evening wedding reception, didn't bother letting us know, and we still had to pay for them!

Sounds like a random guest list. Usually these things are for friends of the person whose birthday it is along with relatives.

Unless your daughter is really pally with your neighbours or work colleagues I definitely wouldn't expect them to go. Also your best friend is your friend, not your daughter's, so I wouldn't be too upset by that either.

You invited your colleagues and neighbours to an 18th? that's odd.
Other than a family member I doubt I'd go to a random 18th

Well i wouldn't expect colleagues to turn up. But assuming your best friend has been so for some time, and knows DD well, i would expect her to turn up. Or at least have said well in advance she wasn't coming.

I think if people rsvp'd then they should have come...very rude to either not reply or not show up after saying would be there.

In terms of your best friend...she did let you know that she wouldnt be there.

Who knows if it was an excuse or if her back was genuinely too painful to drive.

If she doesnt have form for being flakey then I would let it go.

Not many people would want to attend an 18yo birthday party…

It’s a bit sad to invite your work colleagues. My daughter would have hated that and been embarrassed.

If her back was sore it was sore.

It's not her fault only two of your colleagues came and none of your neighbours.

And with regards to the colleagues and neighbours, it would probably have been an expensive night for them buy the time they'd forked out for an 18th birthday present, drinks and travel etc.

Fine if it was their own family member or someone they were really close to.

To me an 18 yo invites her own friends to her party. The mum doesn't send out invites or invite her work colleagues? The best friend, I'd say it's a little unfortunate but she did give an excuse.

They may have felt they didn't want to attend a party full of teenagers. For fear of being made to be an unwilling chaperone/tidy upper.

It was her party and her friends came..so I don't really think you need to be upset. It was an odd choice to make it a 'joint' party with your friends and your daughter's.

Thanks for your reply’s, we live in a rural small community and it’s usual to have friends and neighbours at events like this. I take on board what you are saying though, and will try and let it go.

It’s a shame your best friend had a bit of a poor excuse, especially when living so close, but I also don’t get the whole neighbours/work colleague thing. It’s bad of them if they all said yes and just didn’t show, that’s very rude, but I also think it’s odd they we’re invited anyway.
I wouldn’t have wanted my mum to be in charge of the guest list for my 18th, inviting all her random colleagues I don’t even know. As long as all your daughters friends went, that’s what matters. If she enjoyed it, that should be your focus. Sounds a bit like you wanted to
make the party all about you.