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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Need advice

5 replies

EmmaS95 · 23/02/2025 13:32

Need advice

been talking to this guy for 9 weeks and we have met twice and spent a night together he’s a bit older than me I’ll be 29 In 2 weeks and he’s 41 my attraction for him is a bit 50/50 sometimes I feel attracted to him and sometimes I just flat out don’t he has aged a we bit the past few years as iv seen pics of him from 5 years ago and he looked more attractive back then I know it’s not all about looks and personality is more important I agree but there still have to be a level of attraction

we just spent Friday and Saturday together we went out for a meal and some cocktails and had a great night he is a lovely guy and we have clicked really well and had such a laugh together so I do really like him as a person but there was one thing that really put me off this weekend and I noticed he didn’t brush his teeth once on the Friday or Saturday and his breath smelled which I think is disgusting brushing your teeth should be a mandatory thing to do everyday I felt to awkward to say anything to him and he was trying to kiss me tongue and everything it was giving me the boke

Iv had a think about it and even though I like him and think he’s a lovely guy I don’t myself being in a relationship with him but I don’t know how to go about it as he seems really really into me and wants to pursue a relationship he’s even been posting pics of me and him on social media and I feel so guilty it’s not just that fact he didn’t brush his teeth it’s also that I don’t feel fully attracted to him and we also live far away from each other and I don’t think the long distance would work I know I need to put a stop to it now cause I don’t want to lead him on or hurt him

it’s just such a strange one cause I like his character and he makes me laugh and we bounce off each other but like I said I don’t feel I want to pursue anything with him

OP posts:
Felixmyicecreamillbashim · 23/02/2025 13:37

Thank your lucky stars you discovered his disgusting lack of hygiene just a few weeks in. Absolutely chuck him back in the pond. Next!

GreyAreas · 23/02/2025 13:49

Drop the guilt, this is your life and your time you are free to make choices about. You've been talking, and tried meeting up, it hasn't worked out for you. That's a shame for him but c'est la vie.

AlertCat · 23/02/2025 14:10

“Hi Bloke, I’ve really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together but we seem to be at different life stages/ have different fundamental values/ live to far away for me to see anything developing between us. Therefore please don’t contact me further. I wish you all the best for the future, warm regards, @EmmaS95

DoYouReally · 23/02/2025 14:53

He doesn't brush his teeth.
His hygiene standards would put me off.

Oral is out and I wouldn't imagine he keeps anything else sanitary enough to ever be let inside me either.

Run.

Okayornot · 24/02/2025 06:45

You are entitled to not want to be with anyone for any reason at all, however big or small.

Why the overthinking? Poor dental hygiene would put loads of people off. Just walk away.

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