Forever homes

[Neitherhere]

I'm I unreasonable in thinking there is no such thing as a Forever Home?

We bought our "Forever Home" 3 years ago and got into a mini bidding war to get it. We were so sure it was our Forever Home. We spent a lot of money doing it up. However, we are both starting to think about our next "Forever Home". We like our current home but the not-so-nice side of the surroundings have become more evident and while they are not horrible, they take the shine off living where we are.

AIBU to say that Forever Homes do not exist. They may be "Forever" for only a moment and generally people should not get so emotionally attached to a house that they pay more than is necessary for it. We did not over pay for our home but we could have paid less.

Is your Forever Home still your Forever Home?

No home is forever home cause anything can happen. However, I've always taken it as something that is considered more for a phraise to show that this house is somewhere that you're planning on staying long term. So it's more of a framing itnin your head how you'll treat it.

I think most people use Forever Home to mean that it could last them a long time rather than it will. It's normally just used to indicate that they're not intending it to be a short term purchase. Obviously plans change but there's no harm in buying with an eye on the future.

The term "forever home" is nicer than an unwieldy phrase that indicates "I'm here until a disaster, ill health, etc.". In the same way that "starter homes" or one that helps a person up the property ladder indicate the reason for it being a temporary purchase.

I don't know if my house is a forever home or not but I don't see the point in moving anytime soon as the house has everything we need, and the location is useful with so many work opportunities close by which is great for my children as they get older. Its not picturesp though. It's an old council estate four bed semi with a very long garden (which is pretty).

It’s a silly idea. You should live in the house best suited to your time in life. We will have at least 2 more houses as I want to hugely downsize when we retire and not waste our retirement maintaining w house

How long is forever? We've been in our house for nearly 30 years, bringing up our DCs here. It's served us well, but we want to move, to a location we can enjoy in retirement and to a house that will need less maintenance as we age.

It might be an attachment to the work done to bring the home up to what you want/like. So much time is spent choosing the right this or that - the right worktops, kitchen, and other quirks, that it becomes had to let go.

It makes sense that homes should serve us depending on the stages of our life. I had thought this would be the last home we bought. Maybe it is a case of things get boring after a while and change is good?

If we do move in the future, I will miss the top-notch carpet that we spent a fortune on fitting in about half of the house, the expensive countertops, and the curtains (which in fairness I could take with me).

We haven’t ever called any of our houses a forever home. Our first was a starter home which we lived in for 3 years, we then moved to an older but larger home with a bigger garden and started a family. We moved a couple of years ago and had to make compromises (eg smaller garden) in what we could afford but we moved to gain an extra bathroom and larger bedrooms for our teens as it wasn’t feasible to extend our previous home.

If I had a windfall we would definitely move again but think we will be here now until we need to downsize

I don't think you can move into a 'forever home' (which is a horrible phrase, like 'soulmate') when you are younger, because you don't know what life might hold. I have moved into my 'forever home'; moved in when I turned 60. My kids are grown up, it's just me and the dog but there is a spare room if anyone has to move in in an emergency. It's as future proof as I can get it, and I look forward to living out my remaining years of independent living here. Because my life is now fairly static (I'm not having any more kids, don't want a partner, the only thing that might change is getting a larger dog when this one is gone) I can confidently say that I'm here now, forever.

Surely this is simply a personal thing? Just because there’s no ‘forever home’ for you, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist for some people.

My (otherwise lovely!) MIL is currently fretting about an alteration DP and I are making to our house because it might affect the value. We couldn’t give a shit about that, as we have no intentions to move in the near future and we’re living in the house for us, not to make a profit on it. I think this is probably what some people mean by ‘forever home’.

This is likely our forever home because I cannot face ever moving again and it ticks lots of boxes. It’s not perfect but I’ve not seen anything I like more even vaguely in our price range.

Whilst I don't like and don't use the term 'forever home' I have no intention of moving. Ever. I absolutely love my house and it's location. Have lived here for nearly 10 years. Our previous house was nice but I've always known we won't be staying there forever.

I've never used the phrase forever home, but I do think it makes sense, when possible, to buy a house you don't foresee needing to move out of. I've always hated the idea of being backed into a corner where we had to move because a house was no longer suitable.

We're in London and also have a second home in the countryside, but know that ultimately, as we age, we'll stay here and either sell the country house or pass it along to the kids. We like the access to restaurants and culture, public transport, easily accessible medical care/good hospitals, having shops and cafes and parks in walkable distance. I don't want to be reliant on a car when we should no longer be driving.

When we bought our house, we did it with the idea that it worked for the family years and can be adapted for later life if necessary (currently has a guest bedroom and bathroom on the ground floor that could be made accessible), and when we renovated, we did it with the idea we were doing it for ourselves, not as something to sell on.

That said, if one of us was widowed and all the kids were launched, I expect we would find it a bit too big and want to sell up and move to a nice flat.

I bought my forever home 20 years ago , when I went view it I saw my future children playing in the garden. I am still here today and will be as long as I can , I future proofed it by adding down stairs living possibilities. It's detached , has ample gardens, and is everything I want from a home.

Circumstances alter cases? You might be multi-generational living or be able to afford help.

I don't use the term "forever home".
When we moved into our current home over 32 years ago,we thought we would stay there until DC had finished school then move out of the city to a smaller coastal town.We are very happy where we are with great neighbours,good transport links,walking distance of many shops,a NT property with lovely woodland walks and near a beach.We have decided we won't be moving as we would hate to lose all the facilities we have .

You are right OP, there is no such thing as a forever home. So say I with two of us living in a too big house, full of too much stuff, with a garden too big to managed, that was great for the family when the children were growing up but is not so great now. And we can't move/downsize until we declutter big time.....

We thought ours was our forever home but I’m not so sure now. We can definitely afford the mortgage but would absolutely love to retire before the age of 60. However, that will be impossible unless we downsize 🤷‍♀️ I’m 100% for it and I think DH is coming round to the idea. I’m keen to stay for a bit as I love the space but don’t want to be beholden to the mortgage as we get older. We’ve had two inheritances and a redundancy payment recently (circa £100k) so we’ve paid off loads.

I think you’re misinterpreting it.

Throughout my 20s and 30s I bought flats/ houses which I liked but I knew I wouldn’t want to live there forever. Too small/ on a slightly busy road/ too urban/ schools not what I wanted.

Our last house I specifically chose because I can see how it’s great now (tween kids) but I also think it will work well in older age. Big enough, lovely setting, nice local community, decent amenities, close to family. At the moment I can’t see myself leaving unless things change dramatically.

Of course if I were to get ill, or we needed to sell to get some money released or my dream job came up on the west coast of Scotland I might move but the point is that when we bought it I didn’t have a plan to move in 5/ 10 years.

DH and I have been in our Forever home for 12 years, after a brief bidding war. We have had bits of work done on the house over the years to make it exactly what we want. It’s small but with room for guests, the garden is manageable and we love the area. We’re getting old, and hope we never have to leave it.

But I have asked DH not to feel he has to stay there, if I die first and he’s lonely and would rather be in sheltered accommodation with other people.

I don’t want a forever home. My current house is the biggest we could afford in our mid 20s because we wanted space for children without having to move while they were in school. Dh moved a lot as a kid and didn’t want our to change schools if possible. We compromised on area for space. When I don’t need space I will compromise on space for area. I have a decent sized garden which was great with 4 small dc but I can’t be arsed with it now. I’d prefer a courtyard or balcony. I know lots of people my mums generation who are in utterly unsuitable housing that they can’t possibly move out if because it’s “the family home”. The “family” being children of 50+ who moved out 30 years ago.

We were the same, Redburnett, unable to move because we were hemmed in by a lifetime’s possessions, much of them with sentimental value.

A helpful relative moved all our stuff into storage and we had the house redecorated to sell. It looked so nice I could hardly bear to leave!

But we have never regretted either the move or the cost of storage. We had so much stuff that it took a long time to clear the storage units, years of spending the odd day at the storage place and getting stuff to charity shops. But I’m so glad we did it that way round. We were both working full-time and just didn’t have the time or energy to do a huge decluttering.

Our stuff in the old house was imprisoning us. Once it was all neatly stacked in a storage container, we were free.

Well they are to some people. We've lived in ours for 20 years so our teens grew up here. There's plenty of space including for visiting family and we love the location so we'll never move.