Cat help retracted last minute

[LondonOx]

DW and I are in the process of moving house. We need to do some renovation work before we move in and are moving in with family while we do the work. Our temporary accommodation is great, but already has a male cat, so we needed to find a home for our male house cat (I’ll call him Jet) while we’re staying there.

A few months ago one of my wife’s close friend’s (I’ll call her Janet) proactively offered to look after Jet. Janet and her boyfriend had a cat previously and were doting pet parents so we thought it would be perfect. They’ve met Jet a number of times and are both very taken with him. Having confirmed with her, we told everyone else we had been speaking to about it that we’d sorted it.

This week we had the move in date confirmed and messaged Janet to arrange the date for dropping off Jet. This morning she texted to say that her boyfriend is anxious about something happening to Jet in their care, so they can’t have him anymore. Their previous cat was sadly hit by a car, but he was an outdoor cat and we have a house cat who doesn’t want to go outside (stands at the open front door and just looks out vs. a darting out type).

Am I being unreasonable to not want to see Janet and her boyfriend again. DW is hurt by Janet’s behaviour but thinks I’m overreacting. I feel like they’ve really let us down, particularly given the help was proactively offered originally. This is now extra stress to sort out while we’re trying to arrange all the other logistics of moving.

I’d stay friendly with Janet but keep a close eye on her weird fella.

No, I wouldn’t cut someone off for this. You can’t rely on favours and outside help. Why can’t you just use a cattery?

It is v annoying but no you can't make a fuss about this. Just note for the future that they are unreliable.

It's not that difficult to book a cattery place, put cat in carrier and drop her off really, is it?

RE the questions on a cattery. It would actually be much easier for us to do this, but he’s never been to one before and it will be months rather than a few days/weeks. If we don’t have an alternative we will organise a cattery, but it didn’t seem very fair on him as he loves human contact which is why we agreed an alternative in the first place.

I do think it’s weird to say you can’t rely on favours. Isn’t helping each other out part of being friends/family. (Particularly when the favour is freely offered!)

Not always straightforward, sadly. Provided there is space in one, there's lots to consider. E.g. cat anxiety - ours would absolutely hate it and be terrified. Also catteries have strict rules around cats being up to date with their vaccinations and flea/wormer - our cat is strictly indoors and as per our vets recommendations she hasn't been vaccinated in years (although as a younger cat she was up to date with her jabs). So sadly it's not as easy as book a place and drop cat off.

You can huff if you want to. If you think it's reasonable to huff, why care who disagrees with you? You can't get a consensus on something like this. There is no moral high ground. It's in the nature of huffing that you don't care if anyone else agrees with you or not.

I'd be annoyed not because they changed their mind but because they didn't tell you and waited until you contacted them. With more notice you could have found a better solution.

I wouldn't fall out with them but I wouldn't consider them a true friend anymore